Patience is not a trait I seem to have much of. A lesson God has worked on in my heart for a long time. Yet, just when I think I have it, I am tested and again find I have none. In part, I am a “doer” in a sense. The one not satisfied until I have mastered a computer skill, solved the medical mystery of a patient’s symptoms, or to find the solution of how to do it better. All of which are good traits in their right place. However, when asked to wait with patience, I don’t fair so well. I want the answer now! For me it is not always a lack of faith. I know and trust that God can and does desire to do the best. Yet, I just wish sometimes He did not ask me to wait. Is that when doubt arises? Definitely!
Doubt about Him? Not really, the doubt arises as to me. What if I mess it up? Could it be that my failures could change it before it is realized? What if?
Recently, this has presented itself with blaring tones, once more. A decision was made to move me into a position I had wanted. It truly was miraculous how it happened. How marvelously God works His wonders! Then, everything slowed down to a crawl to await credentialing. So, I with great patience wait? I wish I could say yes. But alas, that is not the case.
Called to Wait with Patience, yet how?
Then, Tuesday morning I awoke fatigued with nausea. Not too unusual. But had burning eyes and aching muscles as well. Easily explained with no fever or cough. I could ignore; but that might prove dangerous. So, to do the right thing, I reported my symptoms, established a primary care visit and am awaiting testing for Covid-19. Certainly, I can work from home and am. However, that has set up a cascade of other worries. Still no fever, cough or shortness of breath. But the alarms real or not are already sounding. The grandchildren who sleep with me were exiled from my room. I wear an N-95 mask if I leave my room for food, water or supplies. All is well, right? Of course, I wait with patience for the test. NOT!
After calling them four times to find out when I will be scheduled, I was told they are waiting for more kits to arrive. What does this have to do with God? Everything, because He is Sovereign. He knew I would respond to the symptoms, though minor as I did by doing the responsible thing. Then, why did He allow the tests to run out? Now what? I disrupted my family’s life, most likely needlessly. Set off alarms at work. I have no choice now but wait. But what if they need me to move to the new position and everything comes through? What if I just messed up everything?
But wait, didn’t I just say God is Sovereign? He is! Didn’t I just say He is worthy of all honor and praise? I did! So, yesterday afternoon, I had to stop and think. Wow! What a fool I am, if I do not wait with patience for His plan to work out on His timing.
Preaching to Myself
Just like David often did I need to preach to myself and proclaim, “Wait with patience for God, for He is good. He knows the plan that is best for me and I will trust Him.” You see, I know this. Yet, I need to remind myself from time to time as I journey through this land.
I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:13-14
Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. Remember, O Lord, thy tender mercies and thy loving kindnesses; for they have been ever of old. Psalm 25: 4-6
Yet, instead of patience, too often my cry is:
Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God. Psalm 69:1-3
Wait with Patience as He transforms My Heart
As we approach this Easter Sunday in a world shut down by a tiny micro-organism, we must not forget that God is still in control, even when we don’t understand the “why for” or the “what if”. His desire, as He revealed to Habakkuk in his time, is for the salvation of men, women and nations. He sent His son to die on a cross to pay the price for our sin. Yet, so often we want the Easter bunny, chocolates, and parties. How often do we really cry out for Him, seeking Him with all our hearts and minds and souls?
Yet, God does wait with patience for the last lost soul who will come to Him to be saved. He knew the name of each one before this all began; yet He has endured all the slander, denials, and cruelties through the ages as He waits. Why? Because He loves that one so much, He will wait with patience for them.
Furthermore, He will complete the work He began in me. One day I will wait with patience for Him in everything. Right now, I wish I was the finished product. The heart that always loved Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I truly wish I knew how to wait with patience for the new me; but for now, I will keep preaching to myself the truth of His gospel. He will complete the work He began in me not because I deserve it; but because of grace. Because of Christ’s finished work on the cross, I can be assured of that fact.
Out of the depths have I cried
Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications. If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared. I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. Psalm 130:1-6
Lord, forgive me for my doubts. Forgive me, Lord, that I am so impatient at times. Help me to wait with patience to see the unfolding of your plan in my life and the life of my family. Help me to always remember, your truth.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:30-31
The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:23-26.
And Lord, help me to “through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.” Galatians 5:5 One day Lord I wait for that.
LET ME Like Paul say,
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of [f]corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23 Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24 For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Romans 8 (NKJV)
Thank you, Lord, for all that you sacrificed for my salvation. Jesus paid the price for me. I can never understand the depth of pain He suffered in my place. He, perfect righteousness taking upon Himself the wrath for all my sin. Help me Lord to wait with patience the final transformation of my heart.
For it is in Jesus precious name I pray and come before thy throne of Grace.
Amen.
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©Effie Darlene Barba, 2019
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New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.