How to Overcome the Pride Causing Unforgiveness ⋆ Effie Darlene Barba

Jesus has called us to love one another, even as Jesus Christ loved us. (John 13:34). He loved the Pharisee who spit on his face, the roman guard who beat Him, His brother who called Him crazy and those who stood to mock Him at the foot of the cross. In His most painful moments on the cross He prayed, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing” (Luke 23:24). Jesus came as a humble servant to serve and to die that we, deserving of death might live (Matthew 20:28). Angry, unforgiving spirits have no place in the life of a believer who fully understands that their own forgiveness came at such a price. When we lay aside the Pride Causing Unforgiveness, only then can we love as Jesus loved. So, what are the steps to erasing the negative tapes playing in your head?

Plunge

deep into the recesses of your heart to locate those areas of darkness locked away. Those areas you don’t want exposed, even to God. Perhaps you are afraid that if God saw the depth of covetousness, the desires for self-exaltation, He wouldn’t be able to love you anymore. The truth is…He already knows every thought and every blemish of your heart; and, yet, He has chosen to love you. Psalm 69: ^{5 “}O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.”

Often, it is there where we have hidden some painful memory which we have capped so tightly that we think we have hidden it from ourselves; but, it sits waiting to explode into our current situations. Ask God to help you recognize it so that God can gently take it, covering you with His love while you weep in His arms until the pain goes away.

Remember

that God is on His Throne. Nothing can happen within the Christian’s life but what it has been either ordained by God or has been allowed by His Sovereign will. Given that truth and God’s promise that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28); then, no matter what the circumstance appears, God has a plan working for good in our lives.

Sometimes that plan is to sift us, removing the chaff that remains in our hearts. His purpose is to make us look more like Christ. There are things within us that may require pain to remove them. There are things that need to be purified by fire. While we attempt to hold tightly to these counterfeit joys, He needs to burn away our pride, so that we become more like Christ.

Identify

what is the true source of your distress with the issue. That is sometimes a laborious task and can only occur as we ask God to reveal it to us. I guarantee you that whenever we feel hurt or wronged it comes from a deeper problem within our own heart than whatever the perceived offence is. And, yes, I said perceived.

Most of the time it is our perception. While the reality is that the other person never meant to cause harm; but were themselves trying to deal with deeper trials or desires of their own. Generally, our response comes from fear (a lack of faith), recollections of painful moments from our past, reactions to unresolved past conflicts with someone else that we have stuffed into the darkest recesses of our heart. “for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.” Luke 6:45

Delve

into the scriptures to grasp hold of the covenant promises of God and cling to them. I am certain that in step three you will discover that there are issues which you have never by faith accepted God’s promise to cover.

Sin is always evidence of a faith issue. Do you really believe all that God has said? If that were true, you could never be anxious, unruffled, sorrowful, or affected by the circumstances that surround you; instead, you would have peace, joy, hope, and love which continuously reflects Glory back to God as a mirror reflecting to the world His Glory (not your own.) “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

Erase

the negative audio tapes that play in your head and replace them with new tapes. You know which tapes I am talking about. Follow Paul’s directions when replacing those tapes with new ones. “whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” Philippians 4:8

There you have it, if you take the first letters of each word you will find the word PRIDE. You might say; but mine is not pride I am struggling with doubt and a low self-esteem? Isn’t that also pride? Do you think that you are so important that your mistakes, self-frustrations, sins are too big for God to forgive or to take care of?

Sometimes, self-doubt is a form of backwards pride because doubt keeps me focused on myself and not on my Savior. When focused on my self-doubt or desires I become preoccupied by myself. I forget that my life in Christ is not about me. It is about a world in need of a Savior. God needs me to reflect His Glory, His Love, and His Joy to a desperate world. He does that as His Truth softens my heart and teaches me to forgive.

WHEN GOD’S TRUTH SETS US FREE FROM PRIDE

. What a patient, gentle, and loving Father I have. He has a plan for my life and I trust Him to finish the work He has begun in me. I could now fulfill Ephesians 4: 31-32; at least for today until some other piece of chaff needs to be sifted and I must walk through these steps again. Knowing this, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3: 13-15.

So, what stands in your way of fulfilling Ephesians 4: 31-32. Read the verse again, now that you know the steps to guide you toward fulfilling it.

Ephesians 4: 31-32, Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

One by one God removed the prideful negative tapes I clung to. Then, I saw the sacrificial love Mom had always shown toward me. Even in my worst moments, she had loved me unconditionally. I know that now.

DO YOU KNOW CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOR?

If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior: I urge you to go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link. Because there is nothing more important than this, I urge you to seek Him today.

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A labor of love, this book provides you with 3 foundations of truth from the scripture which once known will provide you with abiding, steadfast joy. Undaunted by the storms of life; your joy will overflow.

WHEN INJUSTICE AND VIOLENCE REIGN:
Through a study of Nahum, Habukkuk, and Zephaniah; I brought their message into our modern times. Answering the questions of “Why, God?”

Providing a foundation of faith and hope; even, as we see so much evil in the world and in our nation. With so much sorrow and despair, this book I wrote to guide you into discovering God’s Perfect Plan of love; amid this chaotic world filled with life’s storms.

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©Effie Darlene Barba, 2018
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.