How to Erase Those Negative Tapes Leading to Anger ⋆ Effie Darlene Barba

If we try to analyze relationships, particularly within families, we will find that more often our anger is due to misperceptions of what was or is said. Then, our memories become packed full of negative tapes which play back in our heads, whenever we are around that person. Whatever they say, we then hear through an already prejudiced mindset, adding fuel to the flame. We put up walls and barriers which are in place to protect our self, we think. But the truth is those walls and barriers only cause further harm by allowing anger, loneliness, and bitterness to grow.

The evolutionist will try to tell you that our brains choose to record that which is necessary for survival first. However, as I just pointed out, were that the case then evolution failed in its purpose. We can see that clearly in a society who is bent on emotions of anger, hatred, and separationist ideologies. Those feelings and ideas ultimately lead to high anxiety, desperation, drug abuse, and even suicide. All because the memory held fast to negative tapes, snippets of information taken out of context which ignore the good and misinterpret the words to feed a negative narrative.

Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8-9 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”

Negative Tapes that Lead to Anger

For me, from the first memories I could recall, my mind created negative tapes of words spoken critically or harshly. My emotions would bounce between love, wanting to be loved, and building unhealthy walls. Perhaps, it was in part due to my sensitivity to mom’s struggles which carried her from anger to depression to brief moments of joy. She had not yet been diagnosed; but, some of the characteristics of her bipolar were there. At any rate, I seemed to be also caught within the pendulum of wanting to find a way to make her happy and frustration when I failed. As time went by, in self-defense of my own bruised ego; my mind recorded negative tapes.

By holding fast to these negative words, I could defend my bruised ego by placing all the blame on Mom. Ah, but with time there was the anger inside that grew. Then, I hated myself for the anger, which I knew was wrong. The anger stood in the way of my being able to see all the acts of sacrificial love and kindness from Mom toward me. Instead, I worked always harder to prove that I WAS the kind, loving, and sacrificial one. What a mess was my little self-exalting heart. Yet, God was gracious, kind, patient, and loving toward this rebellious little heart. He knew that for me to find His peace in the relationship between myself and mom, He would have to erase the negative tapes one by one. Those negative tapes would have to be replaced with the truth, as only God could reveal.

Replacing the Negative Tapes with Truth

God is truth. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, through studying God’s Word and prayer, we can find the truth of even our relationships. We must learn, step by step, to see life through His eyes. Coming to the end of our self, we find His victory in every step of our life. God would bring every negative tape to the surface again, so that He could reveal to me the truth. Overtime, He erased all the negative tapes.

Finally, I could see Mom through the eyes of love that God had for her. Also, finally, I could see all the sacrifice and love she had always given for me. Furthermore, Mom for the first time ever, is happy, peaceful and content. Where did she find that contentment? God and God alone. She has found her joy in sitting alone with Him, reading His word, and many good books about Him.

We need to learn to think on those things which are pure, kind, and good. We do this as we take our eyes off our self and place them on Jesus. As we lay aside the self-exalting, sin filled nature of our humanity and find our self in Him alone, then the negative tapes will all fade away. Instead, we will find His truth, His joy, His peace, and His love reigning in our hearts.

It all begins by accepting God’s Gift of Salvation through faith in Jesus Christ.

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WHEN INJUSTICE AND VIOLENCE REIGN:
Through a study of Nahum, Habukkuk, and Zephaniah; I brought their message into our modern times. Answering the questions of “Why, God?”

Providing a foundation of faith and hope; even, as we see so much evil in the world and in our nation. With so much sorrow and despair, this book I wrote to guide you into discovering God’s Perfect Plan of love; amid this chaotic world filled with life’s storms.

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©Effie Darlene Barba, 2018
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.