As I read the first few verses of Romans 9, I felt a heavy conviction within my own heart. One that has reached deep, ripping at my soul, and awakening me from my sleep. A restlessness deep within grows as I realize just how short I fall from having the real heart of an evangelist. I have been pleading for God to give me a heart of love for the lost. A heart of an evangelist that truly mourns for the lost like Paul, the apostle. Really, I wish my heart were like my Savior’s heart; but I know that still seems such a distant hope. So, even if my earthly heart can never fully love like Jesus; maybe it could love like a true Evangelistic heart should.
I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost… I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh (Romans 9:1-3).
Do I truly have heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart for those who are lost? Certainly, I have some or I would not do that which I do here. For it is time and labor intensive; yet I am compelled to write even if only one soul is reached or touched. But is mine truly the heart of an evangelist? Perhaps, I would and have pleaded with great weeping to God for one or another of my children. I would rip my heart out or plead to take their punishment for sin for them; but would I for anyone else. Or would I really be willing that God cast me aside eternally for them or anyone else?
The Heart of the Evangelist
Paul’s heart so yearned for his brethren he longed for their salvation with such fervor, he at times would have been willing to exchange his salvation for theirs. Although that is impossible, for anyone who has truly come to know Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord cannot be separated from God. Nor could one imagine a life without Him, once having tasted of the sweet fellowship one has with Christ. Yet, Paul truly had the heart of the Evangelist for even that thought to have entered his heart.
As for me, though I love my children with that fierceness of love; what about others? Perhaps there were moments in my life when one or another might be the focus of my love. It was such when I was in the jail ministry. Yet, more recently, I realize how far short I fall when it comes to loving all sinners as I should. What if there is someone extremely near and you feel they may be drawing one of your children away from Christ? Can you genuinely love them enough to say your heart mourns for them? Or someone who has hurt your family, can you sorrow so for their salvation?
Paul here spoke of those who wanted him dead or jailed with such compassion. I wish and long for the day my heart will love like Jesus does. Or at least I wish I could comprehend how to hate sin while loving the sinner with the heart of the evangelist. But until that day, I come before my Savior and Lord every day to pray. I know that as I said in the last message, the Holy Spirit will not stop until I am complete. So, I wait with patience or sometimes impatience for the transformation to be complete.
Concluding Thoughts
For right now, I continue to pray, study God’s word, and spend time alone with Him. I lay my own burdens and sins at the foot of the cross, awaiting eagerly for the redemption of this body, while lifting my head in songs of praise to the one who saved me. For I know the fruit of the Spirit is love, so I also know as I lean into Jesus and allow the Spirit to reign in my heart, He will teach me love and show His love through me. He will clear away the smudges, so my heart might be like mirror to shine forth His love through me to all those whom I meet today. That is my earnest prayer. What about you?
DO YOU KNOW CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOR AND LORD?
If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord: I urge you to go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link. There is nothing more important than this; because He is the way, the truth and the life. Therefore, I urge you to seek Him today.
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Disclosures
©Effie Darlene Barba, 2019
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
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