When I look back over my life, so many parts I would not have chosen. Ah, but you see; God did. Little did I know that my greatest gain would come only after I lost most of what I clung tightest to. Mostly, I could not gain my own Being in Christ; until, I came face to face with my own nothingness without Him. God stripped me of all my pride; that, I might find in Him all that I need. After seeking to gain His pleasure through the works of my hands, I surrendered in defeat; only to find there at the foot of the cross, I was made new. During all those years, I loss a lot of who I thought I was or believed I desired; only to discover: My Greatest Gain came from losing all I thought best; having it replaced with God’s Best Plan.
Having accepted Christ at such a young age, I studied His world with a ferocious appetite to grow. My desire remained steadfast, seeking and searching to know Him more. Still, a weed began to grow; perhaps, from the ideas planted in my tender years; that, I must work hard to gain God’s pleasure. By my early teens, a sense of pride began to grow within my heart. Looking toward heaven, I prayed, “God, aren’t you proud of me? I love you and follow your commands.” I cannot tell you if my pride truly came from truly thinking highly of myself or more from a desperate need to know God truly loved me, which I believed I had to earn. Yet, those fate filled words came shortly before I began a spiraling fall; facing the depth of my own inability to do His Will.
WHEN LOSS BECOMES OUR GREATEST GAIN
Paul, the apostle knew this all too well. He had much to be proud of concerning his own personal fulfillment of the old Testament Law; however, when he came face to face with Jesus–that changed. Now, being held prisoner; having lost his honorable position in the Sanhedrin and nearing dying from beatings and stoning; he wrote these words in Philippians 3:4-11
Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.
But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.
Paul had lost everything that had been his identity; that he might find his greater identity in Christ Jesus. Nothing else mattered as much as knowing Jesus Christ as Lord and master.
STEP BY STEP, ONE GLORY AT A TIME
Certainly, I would not have chosen the years of abuse, the cancer, the chronic illness and multiple surgeries. Nor would I have chosen widowhood. Never did I want to fail God by my own sins. Yet, step by step; God allowed me to stumble at times, so I might find my only righteousness in Him. Because of my stumbling, I see the world through eyes of grace; which I could not have gained. My sufferings drove me into the arms of Jesus. The tears that covered my pillows at night brought me to a place where I could hear God’s comforting songs of love in the darkest night.
Yes, step by step; God drew me closer to Him. Amazingly, I even sin less; now that I recognize my own inability to win against sin; because, I rest on Him and His victory rather than my own. Now, instead of trying to gain His pleasure, I rest in it. No matter what trials come my way and I know there will still be many; I count all things loss for excellency to know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
Looking back over my life, I thank God; He did not give me what I wanted; rather, He gave me His best plan for me.
So, let me close with an excerpt from this poem I wrote.
An Act of Grace
As I look back over my life
Remembering the pain and strife
There were those nights of bitter tears
When I awoke heart full of fears
To stumble then to find my chair
Where I would sit alone in prayer
My Bible opened there I’d read
Of hope, of love, of all I need
Your songs of joy poured over me
Salvation’s song had set me free
And suddenly I saw a light
A thought that brought such pure delight
The pain had been Your act of Grace
To Cause this heart to seek Your face
And find in You, my love, my friend
This hope and joy will never end
If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior: I urge you to go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link, if you have a prayer request email me by clicking here or comment here
CONCLUDING TWEETS
[bctt tweet=”When you have lost everything else and found Jesus Christ, then you have everything” username=”effiedarlene”]
[tweetthis]My true identity can only be found in Christ Jesus, letting go of my self[/tweetthis]
OTHER RESOURCES AVAILABLE
I wrote and published Mountaintop Experiences in the Valley as a revised version in 2011 from the first writings I did in 2003. If you want to know more about the books I have written: You can find a link at: Book Resources.
featured Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash The inscription I added.
©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.