II Cor 4:16For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Sorry that it has been a while since I last posted. There have been so many things happening. My work has required many hours beyond the usual with less days off. In addition, last Monday I received a call to tell me that a very dear friend was in hospice with only days to live. I had tried many times to reach her; but her phone was turned off and I had no other way of reaching her. Knowing that she had been battling cancer, I had come to believe she had already gone to be with the Lord with no chance for me to say goodbye. With this opportunity, I rushed to her side to hold her hand and kiss her cheek one last time. She was in such agony and on so many pain medications which barely relieved the pain for moments at a time; yet, she recognized me and whispered “I love you” one last time. She left this world to be with the Lord Wednesday night. She stood on faith throughout a life plagued with pain and suffering; yet, she was always the one to remind me that God was in Control and had the perfect plan for our lives—no matter what. Her name is Machelle Luna. I want to tell you a little about her life in hopes to help you understand this truth and I dedicate this blog to her and to my belated husband as proof that God is truly the Master Weaver of our lives and for that reason we have no reason for fear or despair in any circumstance of this life because God who is omnipotent has a plan of love for each and every one of our lives that plan is to show forth His grace, mercy, and love to a world so in need of Him.
Machelle’s gift was prophecy—therefore she strongly stood on truth and justice at whatever cost. As I have previously told you, my primary gift is mercy. What a fateful day, that I once more with broken heart stood before her desk at Florida Cardiology with tears streaking down my face. I knew Machelle by sight only before that day; however, she looked up and saw me there that day and began to listen to my blubbering words. She reminded me of God’s perfect love and plan. We talked for quite some time and in that moment a true friendship began that superseded space and time.
Machelle’s life was a shining example of faith in the center of constant trials and tribulations. She grew up very poor. Her husband left her with two children to support with no formal education or work skills; yet, she proceeded to face life with one thought in mind which was to provide for her children against all odds. It was during that time period that she came to find Christ as her Savior and to rely on Him for everything. She was one of the few women that I knew who worked as much or more than I did. Our destinies were intertwined from that day forward with each helping the other through life’s sorrows. Machelle later lost her job due to manipulating lies of another who had been placed in a position of manager. This we talked about a lot after that and as the remainder played out. This manager also professed to be a Christian and had been a very dear friend as well; yet, a Christian who is out of fellowship can prove to be more evil than anyone else. All of this played out without the true boss knowing and his hands were tied. The thing that I and Machelle knew was that God’s Master plan was still at work. For that reason we knew that even this God ordained. Machelle always reminded me that this manager who had lost her way before God needed our continued prayers for her to find her way back to fellowship. Indeed, we pitied her rather than become angry; because we knew she was living in a world filled with fear and could not feel the peace of God without returning to Him. Machelle lost her house and came to live with me for three months; but left to go back to Deland where she was from so that her daughter could be near her family and friends. Shortly thereafter she began to have problems with excessive bleeding and multiple trips to the ER, where she was essentially ignored and despite their noting a large fibroid tumor—this too was ignored. Of course, she had no insurance. Despite this Machelle went back to school to become a medical assistant. Ultimately, I demanded she return to a hospital where I worked and there met an incredible gynecologist who offered to help her, even if he never got a penny for the work. It was then found that she had stage IV Ovarian and Uterine Cancer. She completed all but one part of her chemo and none of her radiation therapy because she was placed in a situation of a very tough decision. The training she had taken would all be worth nothing if she could not return to complete her internship before a certain date. She chose to return to school that she might complete her training so she could support her family. She stood on faith that God’s plan would still be best—no matter what His decision. She did finish and go to work caring for an elderly couple which she loved. Yet, the cancer returned with a vengeance about a year later with massive tumors of the peritoneum. Some wanted her to sue the original doctors; but she refused and said that to do that would not be an example of Christ’s forgiveness. It would also taint the truth that God is in Control. She always said, “I do not want to look down from heaven and see the bunch of you crying at my funeral; because I will be standing before my Lord and Savior”
Why does God allow His children to face such sorrow and tribulation in this world? Perhaps that is the question many of you have at this point in this story. Yet, Machelle and I had both learned in life that our entire lifetime is but a moment compared to eternity and that in the center of it all our purpose is to glorify Him. There are many people out there who want to teach a prosperity gospel which brings glory to themselves and not to God. There are many others who want to teach the false gospel that pain in the life of a believer is a result of sin. This is also so very far from the truth. Both of these gospels do not understand that Christ left His throne in heaven to suffer and die to pay the penalty for our sin once and for all that we might be brought into fellowship with Him. Romans 8: 1 “ There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Those who have truly seen and savor the truth and magnitude of Christ’s love, we fall before Him in praise even if He offered nothing in return. We come to understand that many times, it is through those sorrows and pains we come to know Him so intimately that He becomes all that matters. Have you ever felt joy and peace in the middle of great tribulation? That is what Machelle had and I have because of Jesus Christ. It is His peace and joy in the central core of our being that caused and continues to cause us to triumph with grace—standing firm in faith. II Timothy 2: 1 Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 3Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. 7 Consider what I say; and the Lord give you understanding in all things. 8 Remember that Jesus Christ of the seed of David was raised from the dead according to my gospel. 9 Wherein I suffer trouble, as an evildoer, even unto bonds; but the word of God is not bound. 10 Therefore I endure all things for the elect’s sake, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. 11 It is a faithful saying: For if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him: 12 If we suffer, we shall also reign with him”
Another scripture which confirms these truths is found in the writings of Paul the Apostle who suffered beatings and imprisonment for the gospel of Christ. Romans 5 1Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: 2By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and REJOICE in hope of the glory of God. 3And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. 6For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 9Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. 10For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 11And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement. 12Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: 13(For until the law sin was in the world: but sin is not imputed when there is no law. 14Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam’s transgression, who is the figure of him that was to come. 15But not as the offence, so also is the free gift. For if through the offence of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many. 16And not as it was by one that sinned, so is the gift: for the judgment was by one to condemnation, but the free gift is of many offences unto justification. 17For if by one man’s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.) 18Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life. 19For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous. 20Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound: 21That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.
Paul, pretty well summed it up. Our purpose as children are to glory God in such a way that we draw others to Him. If for example my life was filled with no suffering and no sorrow, always blessed with riches would I be able to point you to Christ for your peace and joy? Indeed, you might believe you want what I have, but you would never see the true source of my joy and peace which is Christ Jesus. On the other hand, if I find hope in a hopeless situation, peace when trials abound, am able to forgive and love those who harm me, and demonstrate an underlying strength and joy in a sea of broken heartedness—then you might begin to wonder or seek He who is my strength through all of life rather than the riches of this world. My belated husband was the proof of just that.
Pete grew up in a world of pain and sorrow. His father was very abusive, because he grew up abused and really did not even know how to be different. At one point he was placed in an orphanage after his father abandoned his mother. She went to work and to be able to do so placed Pete and his sister in an orphanage which was run by a group of abusive nuns. He nearly died of scarlet fever, so his father removed him from the orphanage but continued to raise him with an abusive hand. His father would place him in the best school, but send him to school dressed in rags with shoes that had holes so that he suffered constant ridicule. Despite all of his childhood he became a brilliant doctor; yet, plagued by bipolar disease-most likely inherited from his mother who was loving one minute and abusive the next during the times she was with him. (He never remembered this and dearly loved his mother; but his sister relayed these truths later so that I would further understand. ) The results of all this also left him as an atheist because he saw nothing that would bring him to seek God.
When I met Pedro Barba, I fell madly in love with this man who had a heart of gold which seemed to be tainted by a life of sorrow. It was not until so many years later that I came to realize the magnificance of God’s plan. Somehow, despite my failing to get it always right and many times not understanding what God was doing, God taught Pete of his unconditional love by continually placing forgiveness and unconditional love in my heart for Pete. Despite many difficulties, pains and suffering, God revealed to me constantly the Pete He saw. At one point, we lost everything and things looked very bleak. That was when Pete first saw a glimpse of the strength and peace that God provided in a believer. I remember distinctly him saying, “You have something deep inside that causes you to always forgive and a strength that carries you through everything, I want what you have” I told him the truth was I, myself, was very fragile; yet, God provided me with His strength, His hope and His unconditional love. That was Pete’s first step toward seeking God. Six months later, he accepted Christ as his Savior merely six months before he died. I began to understand that God’s plan was perfectly orchestrated. I learned so much throughout this; most importantly 1. If God could give this human heart the ability to love unconditionally then how much greater was His unconditional love for me. 2. There is no suffering too great for the salvation of one soul. 3. Our entire lifetime is but a blink in time compared to eternity.
Machelle’s life has always been a testimony of faith and she now stands before Christ sharing in His Glory. How many people will find Christ because of her life? Only God knows. Perhaps, you who have stumbled on this website , with a heart filled with pain, need to know this Savior who is so worthy of our Praise, who can fill your heart with strength and joy and peace. I pray that is the case. It is for that reason, I write. I hope that in doing so I point one person toward Christ or cause one faltering Christian to turn there eyes back on to that which is the only hope we have—Jesus Christ.
Let me share with you this poem I wrote which has been true in my life, Machelle’s life, Pete’s life and is true for everyone who knows Christ as their savior.
The Master Weaver
Broken threads my life you found
And with your love each piece you bound
A song of love your lips resound
With gentle hands, each thread you place
Oh could it be, amazing grace
A picture clear, my Savior’s face
What joy divine, could it be true
Each broken thread, you only knew
When woven tight would look like you
The Scarlet threads my broken heart
The deepest sorrows blue impart
Each silver thread of tears that fell
You guide my life with such detail
A brilliant gold, your love divine
My sins were washed, a white sublime
You gently weave with skillful hand
The portrait mine that you have planned
Oh, let me Lord remember this
That I might know with joy and bliss
You did ordain my every tear
That I might learn to never fear
That I might trust the weaver’s hand
And on this hope and promise stand
Your love will always know what’s best
Your cradling arms are where I rest
Broken threads my life you found
And with your love each piece you bound
A song of love your lips resound
With gentle hands, each thread you place
Oh could it be, amazing grace
A picture clear, my Savior’s face
What joy divine, could it be true
Each broken thread, you only knew
When woven tight would look like you
By the way, stay tuned, soon to be posted will be a video to the song version of this poem
May God bless you with His joy, His peace and His love.
Love, Effie Darlene Barba