Tag: pain

What Is the Greatest Treasure of This Life?

Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, Philippians 3:8

Throughout this journey of life, we meet with unexpected storms, rocky terrain, emotional upheavals, and trials that cause us to grow weary. At times we would despair of the weariness of heart and spirit, losing focus of the prize before us. Tears may stream down our face, we fall to the ground in despair and we wonder if there is any hope of joy. For most of us, our journey is an uphill climb; a race through boulders and rocks. We feel the struggle has left us bruised, bleeding and too exhausted to press on. We are overwhelmed with a deep, unrelenting weariness of heart and spirit that presses in. Continue reading “What Is the Greatest Treasure of This Life?”

MY LOVE IS ENOUGH-Poetry Sunday

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound Isaiah 61:1 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18

What an amazing week this has been!  I have had the wonderful blessed opportunity to spend this week with thousands of Christian women in the Proverbs 31 She Speaks 2016 conference.  So many amazing women deeply in love with Jesus and on fire to spread the word.  I could go on and on naming the speakers who so touched my heart and life.  The amazing attendees each with a passion and a story.  We all have stories.  Sometimes those stories are filled with sorrow, pain, and grief; yet, ringing through it all is one thing—God loves me, God never gives up on me, and God’s love is enough to overcome every sorrow.  Friday night as Lysa Terkeurst took the stage, I anticipated a great message.  A woman so anointed as a writer and speaker; yet, I did not expect the raw vulnerability that drew me in. Somehow, we think that those who are so well known in the ministry don’t still have storms; but, they do.  Lysa had recently finished a book called “Uninvited” which is a book dealing with the rejections we face.  Believing all had already been said about the subject, then an uninvited storm came into her life and sent her running in retreat of her own book for comfort.  Sometimes, we feel uninvited and sometimes uninvited storms come in and we feel abandoned, rejected by God.  Ah, but God is right there.  Her talk was raw with emotion, filled with inspiration, and that beautiful grace of God’s sustaining joy in the midst of the storm. That talk inspired me to write this poem.  So if you are hurting, know this God is enough to fill your heart with glee.  Just wait a moment, you will see.

broken

My Love is Enough

by Effie Darlene Barba

 

Trials arise and storms of the heart

Come raging into our life

Uninvited, unwanted they scream

Words of bitterness and strife

 

Into the depth of our heart and our soul

Driving their pain with sharpest of knife

Cutting, bleeding taking their toll

Stripping away any signs of our life

 

Crying to God, I scream for a why?

Didn’t I love enough? Sing your praise?

Wounded, battered I really did try!

All of my life! All of my days!

 

Then I did feel His warmth, His embrace

Oh, my dear child, don’t you now see

Everything, spiraling toward you with grace

Only reveals the truth that is me

 

I had to remove the scars of this world

The dark hidden spots you never reveal

Twisted, resisted so tightly furled

Had come in the night your joy to steal

 

Come deep in my arms, rest for a while

To heal all those scars you carried so long

The Broken Unspoken pain doth beguile

Drawing you far from where you belong

 

I see your heart wounded deep inside

Come my dear Child, Safe you will be

Wrapped in my love, here to abide

Wait for a moment and then you will see

My love is enough to fill you with glee

[bctt tweet=”Wait for a moment and then you will see My love is enough to fill you with glee” username=”effiedarlene”]

I also urge you to order your copy of Uninvited as well at: http://www.p31bookstore.com/

Picture used by written permission of the artist, Ronald Barba.  You may obtain copies at http://fineartamerica.com/artists/ronald+barba  where you may also view other masterpieces of his work.  You may contact me if you are interested in his doing any commissioned artwork for you.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

POETRY SUNDAY Out of the Ashes-A Joyous Love Song

All too often as we face the trials, pains, and sorrows of this life; we  don’t understand why or how God would allow this.  It is those moments when we become so undone by all that surrounds us and the desperate despair within.  Yet, it is an all wise Sovereign God who because of His tremendous love for us allows the sorrows, the pains, and the evil of this broken world to touch us. He steadies His Hand of Justice so that He can reach out His hand of Grace and draw us in closer to His Bosom.  He knows that this heart of mine would be so content with counterfeit joys that I could never find the fullness of Joy He holds for me in Christ.  He knows that I would cling to lesser loves and lesser treasures  if He did not tear them from my hands so I could see Him.  Ever tear I shed, every pain I have born, and every dark night had great purpose in God’s Hand of love to turn my face toward Him.  What I might have once thought of as my undone, I have learned was God’s doing miraculous and wondrous things for me. What amazing grace, mercy, patience and love He has shown to this undeserving heart.  What joy, peace, hope and strength I have found in Him.

photo-1438979315413-de5df30042a1

Out of the Ashes-A Joyous Love Song

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

I don’t understand

Why the nail scarred hand

Why you had to bleed

To fulfill my need

Oh can you help me see

This great mystery

Why the joy we sought

With your blood you bought

Yet, we’re blinded still

Unyielding to thy will

Because we think to gain

There should be no pain

When the trials come

We become so glum

As we cry unfair

Screaming “Are you there?”

(Bridge)

Gently, so gently you reached out your hand

To cradle me there to help me to stand

It was love that allowed all this sorrow and pain

To awaken my heart to the darkest of stain

If never I walk through the darkest of night

I can never find joy in your glorious light

Until I was broken, my life was undone

I loved from afar your precious dear son

It was there in the darkness that you drew me in

Alone there and broken my heart you did win

It was there you unveiled this great mystery

That I couldn’t see you when I’m looking at me

Out of the ashes to my heart’s surprise

A joyous love song began now to rise

 

My Broken heart

Was a brand new start

Helped me understand

The nail scarred hand

Helped my eyes to see

That the victory

Was already won

By your precious son

So whatever pain

Torrential rain

In your love I hide

In your joy abide

 

My Broken heart

Was a brand new start

Helped me understand

The nail scarred hand

Helped my eyes to see

That the victory

Was already won

By your precious son

So whatever pain

Torrential rain

In your love I hide

In your joy abide

Much like Paul told Timothy, “Do not weep for my imprisonment, my pain, my beatings, the stoning,  or my suffering…” “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2Timothy 1:7). “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17)

I don’t know where you are along this journey; but, I do know this. [bctt tweet=”God’s love is bigger than your heartbreak.”] [bctt tweet=”God’s strength is big enough to carry your heaviest burden.”]In Christ you have everything that you need to find hope, joy, and love—in Him, you will rise above all life’s trials.  Even if you don’t realize it yet; He will show you the way to full happiness in Him no matter what circumstances surround you.

Photo by permission https://unsplash.com/b3njamin

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Can Your Greatest Agony Actually Turn To Joy? How?

Can Your Greatest Agony Actually Turn To Joy? How?

The blast of the gun!! The horror in the middle of the night!! Trembling as I emerged from the bedroom to see my husband gasping for air. Blood poured from his mouth. The gun still in his now limp hand. I gently tipped back the recliner to open his airway; but the bullet had gone through his head. I called the ambulance. A cousin who had been visiting and witness, stood paralyzed. My oldest son screaming from the back bedroom—he couldn’t breathe. I opened the windows then went back to making phone calls for help. It was in Mexico, so there was no 911, the ambulance was very slow. Agony, rage filled my heart. I had watched my husband battle inside the monster of mental illness. Too proud as a physician to get real help, he had tried to go it alone. Mental illness had won. Or had it? All the struggles we had faced as a family; always hoping, always dreaming that he would be well one day. How I had believed that with enough love, he could be made well?

God's light

The agony and despair was more than I could bare; yet, as the day moved on there came a whispering sound—deep beneath, barely audible nearly drowned out by agony’s roar. A whisper of God—assuring me that my husband was now at peace—that he had found Christ a few months before. He was with God. He was healed. In the depth of agony, deeply hidden in the recesses was this promise. Oh, don’t get me wrong–suicide is NOT the answer for anyone–God’s desire is that we find hope here in Him; but neither is it the unpardonable sin.  The scars of all those years, the years in the midst of the illness—the scars of that pain filled night remain with me and my children. They blare like sirens reminding us that this world is broken. The scars remind us of the darkness. Only when you know the darkness, can you see the true light shining into that darkness with hope, joy, and love.

Continue reading “Can Your Greatest Agony Actually Turn To Joy? How?”

HOW CAN SOMETHING SO TERRIBLY WRONG BE ACTUALLY GOOD?

HOW CAN SOMETHING SO TERRIBLY WRONG BE ACTUALLY GOOD?

We look around us at all the suffering, pain, and agony of this broken world. Wars, terrorism, and tragedies that occur many proclaiming to be in the name of God. Such tragedies have occurred throughout all the centuries since man’s heart first chose to worship the creation more than the creator. We see the natural disasters and ask God why? Then there are those agonizing sorrows much closer to our own hearts when we watch one of our children suffer. Even more agonizing is when we look back and realize that perhaps our own foolish choices may have been a part of their suffering now. Our very best efforts to protect, provide for, love and guide was not enough. Those memories we thought would elevate us become like ashes that fly away into the sky and all we have is shame or guilt. We look into heaven and wonder “how could a Sovereign God allow this?” Couldn’t He have enlightened me more, then? And what about mental illness, such as my mother’s bipolar disorder?  Is God somewhere to be found in the midst of their agony? Or what about physical illnesses such as the cancer I lived through.   Does God use all the failures, the illnesses, the broken pieces of our lives and our world to create something beautiful?  I know that He really does do just that; and because I know that, I can rest in His love, His peace, and His joy in the midst of every circumstance of this pilgrimage journey. I can trust Him, even when everything around me looks bleak and disastrous. Let me explain to you how I know and the steps which will help you to trust Him in the storms.

our greatest treasure

BOUND AND CARRIED AWAY

Jesus had declared “I AM the one you seek.” He had willingly surrendered to the cohort of men. In fact, He performed a miracle by restoring the ear of one. He could call a legion of angels and no man could hold Him. In fact, in plain day and plain sight, He had escaped their capture while standing before them teaching. Despite all of this, there in the darkness of the night, they chained Him and bound Him; as if their chains had any power over Him. Then they lead Him to the courts of the High Priest. We are reminded of Caiaphas words: “that it is expedient that one man die, rather than the whole nation perish” (John 18:14 and John 11:50). Something so tragically wrong, that perfect righteousness—the awaited Messiah would be sentenced to death in “the name of God” by the very ones He came to save.

Continue reading “HOW CAN SOMETHING SO TERRIBLY WRONG BE ACTUALLY GOOD?”