Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16
As the year 2000 came to a close, I was newly divorced, my children were both gone off to college, I was healed from the surgery, and my boxes were all packed as I headed off to Springfield, MO. There I was going to be the first Nurse Practitioner in their hospitalist program at St. John’s Hospital. Once more, I was starting over. I had no idea what lay ahead; but, I was overwhelmed by Grace. All of my Christian Walk, I had so wanted to please God—to make Him proud of me. Every step of the way I had stumbled; yet, His Grace was fresh and new every morning. Like a fresh spring fed brook, His love poured forth new every morning upon me no matter what!
No matter how big had been my failure; God still loved me. Sometimes, I would bow my head with such sorrow, pain realizing that once more “I had gotten it all wrong.” Each time, my heavenly Father would look down from heaven and with a gentle smile, reach out His hand to pick me up, dust me off, and start a brand new day. Years later I would discover, that in the midst of it all; God had used me for His Glory. How? Despite my failure in the marriage to Terry, later his son would confide that “because of me, he had found Christ.” Me? God used me in the midst of all my bumbling mess? That, my dear friends, is Grace upon Grace. I cannot fully explain how or why God would have chosen me to be His child; yet, He did.