Tag Archives: hope

Christian Blog

What Is the Second Greatest Enemy to Love?

Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight. Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness. Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way. Psalm 119:35-37

As I have pointed out previously, anger is enemy number one of love. Our hearts are so quickly filled by anger so as to crush any hope of love. There is another enemy which can grow like a cancer within our hearts preventing any hope of feeling true love. That enemy is covetousness. Much like anger it begins with a thought or desire deep within our hearts and then grows until it destroys joy, love and hope. It is very subtle at the beginning. We may look at something and just for a moment desire that it was ours. We may see a couple in love and wish that was ours. We may see another who has a nicer home or car and wish it was ours. Someone may have a better position, better grades, greater success, better health, and the list goes on. Whatever it might be, a small seed of discontent starts within our heart which can grow rapidly creating doubt, fear, and depression; while at the same time choking out any signs of love within our feeble hearts. It is no wonder, “Do Not Covet” is one of the 10 commandments. (Exodus 20:17)

Faith

To covet is defined as to yearn to possess or have something. That can be anything!! Then when we don’t have it and we see someone else who does, we become jealous or envious. We wonder why “God loves them better. Why would they have that? Haven’t I been faithful?” If we look at the apostles, this too was evident within their hearts. They were always wanting to know who would be greater, sit closer to Jesus, or suffer less. Paul even spoke of his own struggles with coveting in Romans 7. So, how do we destroy the cancer of coveting; so, that we might know the joy of having hearts filled with love? Faith!! Faith is the key. Let me help you to understand this; as this is a lesson I too must often go back for a refresher course. A seed I often need to destroy before it takes root in my own heart.

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Christian Blog

What to Do When Feeling Alone, Afraid, And Ashamed

Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of God and our Savior Jesus Christ: Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord ,According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 2 Peter 1:1-4

In the quiet moments alone, do you ever look back over your life and cry? Have you ever felt misunderstood? With a heart full of love, you so wanted to do or say the right thing; but, every word seemed to be misinterpreted and in the end you feel alone and rejected. At the end of the day you end up with so many “would haves”, “could haves”, or “should haves.” Maybe, it has to do with a diet you failed again. Maybe, it had to do with a financial decision you now regret. Whatever the reason, have you ever come to the end of the day and wondered if there is any purpose for you? Have you ever wondered whether any of it matters? Your joy is gone, your hope is gone and your only prayer is that when the morning breaks, peace and joy will have returned. Yet, your sorrow is worse because you feel that you have failed God once more. You hope that “knowledge that you are loved” will once more fill your heart with song, if only you could feel that again.  So what do you do?

Sustaining love

 

My time in Springfield was a time to heal the brokenness inside. Beyond having met and known new friends who accepted me as I was; there was also the time alone to reflect upon my life. It actually was when I first began to write about my life. Writing was a way that I could reflect and writing pushed me even further to search the scripture to discover the promises of God. Promises that could restore my heart whenever I felt broken, lonely, unloved, and unworthy.  Too often, I would find myself in that state at the end of the day.  Yet, it was those feelings that drove me to the scriptures even more and drove me to my knees a lot.  One  scripture that can restore hope in those times is this one from 2 Peter.

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Christian Blog

What Happens When You Are Awed by Grace?

 

Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16

As the year 2000 came to a close, I was newly divorced, my children were both gone off to college, I was healed from the surgery, and my boxes were all packed as I headed off to Springfield, MO. There I was going to be the first Nurse Practitioner in their hospitalist program at St. John’s Hospital. Once more, I was starting over. I had no idea what lay ahead; but, I was overwhelmed by Grace. All of my Christian Walk, I had so wanted to please God—to make Him proud of me. Every step of the way I had stumbled; yet, His Grace was fresh and new every morning. Like a fresh spring fed brook, His love poured forth new every morning upon me no matter what!

awed by grace

 

No matter how big had been my failure; God still loved me. Sometimes, I would bow my head with such sorrow, pain realizing that once more “I had gotten it all wrong.” Each time, my heavenly Father would look down from heaven and with a gentle smile, reach out His hand to pick me up, dust me off, and start a brand new day. Years later I would discover, that in the midst of it all; God had used me for His Glory. How? Despite my failure in the marriage to Terry, later his son would confide that “because of me, he had found Christ.” Me? God used me in the midst of all my bumbling mess? That, my dear friends, is Grace upon Grace. I cannot fully explain how or why God would have chosen me to be His child; yet, He did.

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Christian Blog

How to Actually Survive When Feeling Rejected and Lonely

 

‘I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:9-10 (NKJV)

Nothing cuts deeper into our hearts than feelings of rejection or loneliness. Our hearts yearn for love, acceptance, and companionship. We want validation that we matter. We want to know that, at least to someone; we have purpose and meaning. For some of us, rejection cuts at the very core of our being forcing us to come face to face with our own frailties and failures. If we are honest, I daresay that is true of most of us.

alone

As the fall of 2000 approached, my sons were off to college and I prepared to have major surgery once more. This time I was having my colon removed. Terry and I had begun to try to mend things. Maybe there would be a chance to piece together our relationship again. Then, Terry said he would drive me the 4 hours to the hospital for my surgery; but, then he was leaving for a hunting trip. So, it was there would be no one for the doctor to talk to after surgery. I was alone as I went into surgery that morning. I made the arrangements for my daughter to fly into St. Louis and take a taxi to the hospital 5 days later (estimating the day of my discharge). When we arrived at the hospital, we parked the car so I would know where it was. Terry became angry I wouldn’t let him take the car to meet up with his hunting buddy; but, he had left me stranded without my car once before. So I insisted he take a taxi to meet his friend.

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Christian Blog

How to Deal with Love’s Number One Enemy-Anger

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12 (NIV)

Spring had finally arrived and with it hope of renewal. All the chemotherapy treatments were completed. Slowly, steadily I had new hair growing. Slowly, steadily the fatigue was going away. Flowers were beginning to bloom in the yard. As is the case, along with the grass, the weeds also begin to grow. My anger toward Terry was like those weeds. I had not analyzed it. I had not dealt with it. I had not plucked it out when it was small, so it grew. After all, I rationalized, “he wasn’t there when I needed him. He was not willing to even help me financially; after all I had done to financially help him before.” It was easier to rationalize my anger than to deal with the real issue which was my own heart.

anger

Dutifully, “trying to be a good Christian”, I held my tongue at the moment and never spoke of the seething anger inside. Perhaps if I ignore the weeds growing in my own heart, they would go away. I prayed; but, the anger still grew. I was back home to do my internship, while able to work. I still went to Vanderbilt one day every two weeks to turn in my papers and meet with my instructor. I flew to my daughter’s wedding; but, Terry didn’t go with me because of hunting season, again. By fall, I had a new challenge to face—ulcerative colitis. It hit with a rampage that resulted in high dose steroids and multiple medications with little success. So, once more I did not deal with the weeds of anger in my heart—they sat there dormant for another winter.

ANGER’S EXPLOSION

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