Tag: hope

How to Rewrite a Painful Past with Grace and Love

Couples arrive each carrying their own set of luggage. Sometimes, that luggage is filled with beautiful memories, traditions, and beliefs that will strengthen the new couple. Sometimes, that luggage is filled with fears, pains, sorrows and traditions which only injure. Broken vessels often have shards of glass that can cut open wounds. A single word can set off a cascade of painful memories from the past; ripping open wounds that had never healed. Sometimes those memories can set off a chain of reactions filled with anger, fear, and hate.

Pete age 21

Pete and I had arrived with all our baggage. Piece by piece over the course of years, we began unpacking our rags of brokenness. Were it not for God’s Grace and intervening hand of love; we could not have survived. Yet, God had a perfect plan of love for both of us. He was about to change the eternity of Pete; while, at the same time step by step, piece by piece transform my heart into one that could see God’s love, forgiveness, and joy clearly.

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POETRY SUNDAY Out of the Ashes-A Joyous Love Song

All too often as we face the trials, pains, and sorrows of this life; we  don’t understand why or how God would allow this.  It is those moments when we become so undone by all that surrounds us and the desperate despair within.  Yet, it is an all wise Sovereign God who because of His tremendous love for us allows the sorrows, the pains, and the evil of this broken world to touch us. He steadies His Hand of Justice so that He can reach out His hand of Grace and draw us in closer to His Bosom.  He knows that this heart of mine would be so content with counterfeit joys that I could never find the fullness of Joy He holds for me in Christ.  He knows that I would cling to lesser loves and lesser treasures  if He did not tear them from my hands so I could see Him.  Ever tear I shed, every pain I have born, and every dark night had great purpose in God’s Hand of love to turn my face toward Him.  What I might have once thought of as my undone, I have learned was God’s doing miraculous and wondrous things for me. What amazing grace, mercy, patience and love He has shown to this undeserving heart.  What joy, peace, hope and strength I have found in Him.

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Out of the Ashes-A Joyous Love Song

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

I don’t understand

Why the nail scarred hand

Why you had to bleed

To fulfill my need

Oh can you help me see

This great mystery

Why the joy we sought

With your blood you bought

Yet, we’re blinded still

Unyielding to thy will

Because we think to gain

There should be no pain

When the trials come

We become so glum

As we cry unfair

Screaming “Are you there?”

(Bridge)

Gently, so gently you reached out your hand

To cradle me there to help me to stand

It was love that allowed all this sorrow and pain

To awaken my heart to the darkest of stain

If never I walk through the darkest of night

I can never find joy in your glorious light

Until I was broken, my life was undone

I loved from afar your precious dear son

It was there in the darkness that you drew me in

Alone there and broken my heart you did win

It was there you unveiled this great mystery

That I couldn’t see you when I’m looking at me

Out of the ashes to my heart’s surprise

A joyous love song began now to rise

 

My Broken heart

Was a brand new start

Helped me understand

The nail scarred hand

Helped my eyes to see

That the victory

Was already won

By your precious son

So whatever pain

Torrential rain

In your love I hide

In your joy abide

 

My Broken heart

Was a brand new start

Helped me understand

The nail scarred hand

Helped my eyes to see

That the victory

Was already won

By your precious son

So whatever pain

Torrential rain

In your love I hide

In your joy abide

Much like Paul told Timothy, “Do not weep for my imprisonment, my pain, my beatings, the stoning,  or my suffering…” “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2Timothy 1:7). “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17)

I don’t know where you are along this journey; but, I do know this. [bctt tweet=”God’s love is bigger than your heartbreak.”] [bctt tweet=”God’s strength is big enough to carry your heaviest burden.”]In Christ you have everything that you need to find hope, joy, and love—in Him, you will rise above all life’s trials.  Even if you don’t realize it yet; He will show you the way to full happiness in Him no matter what circumstances surround you.

Photo by permission https://unsplash.com/b3njamin

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

How to See Sin through the Eyes of God

 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory… As he saith …I will call them my people, which were not my people; and her beloved, which was not beloved.  Romans 9:22-25

Before we move on to the next era in my life’s search for love, I feel I must linger for a moment more on the subject of sin. If God is Sovereign over my life; then, how does He respond to my sin? Has He allowed my sin? Couldn’t He have stopped me? That is what I pleaded for?  Then why did He not stop me? Why did He not stop Peter from denying Christ? He told Him that it would happen. Peter pleaded “no.” Yet, instead of stopping Peter from sinning; Jesus prayed for Peter, “that thy (Peter’s) faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren”  (Luke 22:32).

What Satan Means For Evil

Then the question that comes to mind is “Does God then ordain sin? After all He is Sovereign, didn’t He ordain the crucifixion of Christ which was the worst atrocity of sin ever enacted by mankind?” Yet, the answer is clearly “No!” God is not the author of sin; yet, God holds His hand steady—withdrawing for a moment His Immediate Judgement so that the ultimate result will still be His Glory displayed and the good of the Beloved. Complex, difficult thought; however, please let me present my feeble attempt to explain as best as my human brain can comprehend. So, let’s dive in to try to answer this question. This can transform your Christian walk to one of Joyous Victory in Christ.  I wish I had known this way back then.

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Pride, Grace, Guilt, Love-How Does Faith Ever Win?

 

“ For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life”               (Titus 3)

Restless nights in prayer I have pondered on how to continue telling you the next step in my journey toward discovering the truth of love. It would be so easy for me to tell you how desperately miserable I was, how I worked two jobs while finishing high school, how the church failed me, mom failed me, and how no one came to rescue me. I could tell you how an 18 year old ended up in the hospital with atrial fibrillation and elevated blood sugar from stress. I could tell you of how I stuttered—unable to speak clearly once more. Truth is I sinned—no excuses.  So, what happened?  Pride got in the way. The doctor I worked for told me, “You can’t go on like this. You need to get a divorce and restart your life.” My reply? “No, it can’t happen. I cannot fail.” Famous last words? Sounds a lot like Peter, “Even if everyone else fails you Lord, I won’t” (Mark 14:29). Not me! I could never do that!

mountaintop-experiences-in-the-valley-ronald-barba

I wish I could tell you that I had stopped praying or reading my Bible. At least then, I had some excuse why I slipped away into sin. No, indeed my Bible study and prayer escalated in intensity as I determined that “I” would prove myself worthy of God’s love. Somehow I could and would perform well enough to earn God’s love. I wouldn’t fail like “them.” Ah, but you see. There it was lurking deep within, that self-exalting heart. By the fall of 1973, only months after my graduation; I was in an adulterous affair and pregnant. All the way there, I would like Peter say, “I would never.” But I did. The church told me to leave and not return. The hospital told me to either have an abortion or resign because the baby was half Mexican. (By the way, abortions were illegal). Instead, I got divorced and married the father of my baby. We left for Florida. Did God abandon me? No.

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3 Truths About the Wondrous Grace of Jesus

Throughout the gospel of John, he has made it very clear that his choice of events and his great detail in recording these events were to present Christ’s beauty and grace in such a manner as to draw you to Jesus Christ. The writers of the gospels had each been endowed by the Holy Spirit with a special gift to write down these memories incorporating a part of each writer’s personality and at the same time presenting God’s word to us. God loves to use our uniqueness in a manner to display the wonderful diversity of His beauty. So, it is not surprising that John’s final recorded event was when Jesus came to Peter with such grace and love. Ever so gently, Jesus came to commission Peter to lead the church. So, let’s lay the groundwork to this chapter.

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photo courtesy of Jim Peregoy.  I added the captions.

Privately, in the upper room at the last supper, Peter had sworn his allegiance to Jesus. He swore that he would die before he would allow Jesus to be taken. Jesus told him that before the cock crowed three times, he would have denied Jesus 3 times. Peter thought that this could never happen; yet, just as Jesus had predicted—Peter did deny Jesus three times while in the courtyard. (If you want to read more detail about that go to “What to Do If I Fail with All My Heart?”) After Jesus’ resurrection, Jesus had already appeared two times to the apostles. In neither of those appearances did Jesus mention the betrayal. No, doubt Peter’s heart was rejoicing in the truth of the resurrection. Yet, deep within lay the sorrow of his own betrayal of Jesus. There was that wound that cut deep into his own heart. That pain when you know you have caused pain to someone you love. Worse, that pain which you feel when the Holy Spirit convicts you and you suddenly realized that you have betrayed Jesus (the love of your life). I have too often been right there where Peter stood—filled with the joy of Grace while at the same time fearing that I failed God. [bctt tweet=”Truth is God knew–just as He did with Peter–every time I would fall down & He still chose me”]

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