Tag: grace

What More Could He Do to Prove His Love?

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.          Isaiah 53: 3-6

Before I begin the new chapter of my life story; I really want to pause to consider once more what faith really is. That is what were going to be the major lessons that I would have to learn over the next 2 decades of my life? What does faith really look like? What is it? What better day to look at that than today, “Good Friday!” The most horrendous act of mob injustice ever and we call it “good.” The day when all  the sins of the world, the horrors of the concentration camps, the terrorist bombings, the death of innocent children, and every evil gossiping word that ever came from my own lips were bore by perfect righteousness. He was beaten for my sins. He was mocked, humiliated, and hung on a cross to pay the price of my sin. As He hung there with all the sins of mankind upon His shoulders, the most horrid of all things was when His Father’s joy, love and spirit turned away. The entire earth shook!! Darkness covered the world as the only true light of the world gave up His life to plunge into death alone, naked and covered with my shame, my guilt. We celebrate that as “Good” Friday.

jesus christ picture

artwork by permission of Ronald Barba

The Centurion Soldier which was in charge of Christ’s execution watched as all the events unfolded. He had heard Jesus say “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). This Soldier had witnessed the conversation among those upon the cross. He had watched Jesus tell John to care for Mary. Whatever agony was His own,

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What Is Your Strength, Hope And Love Anchored To?

 

I will love thee, O Lord, my strength.The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised (Psalm 18:1-3)

Once more we packed all that we had and left for Mexico. We could not sell the house nor the practice, though I had tried. We had to just walk away. Yet, Pete was filled with hope. He had trained in what at that time was very new—laparoscopic surgery. I made a huge effort to collect from the insurances the money owed us from the practice. From the accounts receivables we were able to secure enough to buy the equipment he would need to start a new practice in Pachuca, Hgo. Mexico. We would just start over, that was all. In Mexico, there were no opiates available and that would help Pete to stay free from the temptation to return to them.

anchored

But as is usually the case, life does not come with ease. Remember, Pete had gone through the treatment program for the addiction; but, the underlying mental illness had been left untreated. It was only a matter of time until once more, Pete was battling the thoughts within his own head. I do not pretend to understand fully what he or mom experience; but, both describe a “pain” inside their head. Not a headache—an emotional pain so great that is unbearable. And so the cycles continued of ecstatic highs followed by devastating depression. I was powerless to

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How to Rewrite a Painful Past with Grace and Love

Couples arrive each carrying their own set of luggage. Sometimes, that luggage is filled with beautiful memories, traditions, and beliefs that will strengthen the new couple. Sometimes, that luggage is filled with fears, pains, sorrows and traditions which only injure. Broken vessels often have shards of glass that can cut open wounds. A single word can set off a cascade of painful memories from the past; ripping open wounds that had never healed. Sometimes those memories can set off a chain of reactions filled with anger, fear, and hate.

Pete age 21

Pete and I had arrived with all our baggage. Piece by piece over the course of years, we began unpacking our rags of brokenness. Were it not for God’s Grace and intervening hand of love; we could not have survived. Yet, God had a perfect plan of love for both of us. He was about to change the eternity of Pete; while, at the same time step by step, piece by piece transform my heart into one that could see God’s love, forgiveness, and joy clearly.

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Can Two Broken Vessels Ever Hope To Know Love?

 

“When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

It was April 2, 1979 that I married Pedro Barba, Jr. For me, that day was like a fairy tale dream come true. From our first date and I guess you could say until now, I was and will always be in love with Pete. Ours was a love whose history would forever change how I saw love. Indeed, God used Pete to teach me about sacrificial, unconditional love—a love that lives on, seeking always for the happiness of the Beloved. I know now, better than I could have understood then, that it was God who so richly blessed me that day. Our wedding was a very simple ceremony. Just Pete and I stood before the Birmingham Justice of the Peace. The Justice of the Peace paused a second and then asked, “Is it ok if I perform a Christian Ceremony?” With great joy, I proclaimed, “Yes!” It was as though God, Himself had reached down to tell me He was blessing this marriage.

Two Broken Vessels Unite
ONLY GOD CAN TAKE TWO BROKEN VESSELS TO WEAVE A STORY OF LOVE

For me, it was love at first sight; well, almost. Maybe more like love on first date. He was so handsome, charming, sophisticated and the smartest man I had ever met. There was no subject of which he was not well versed from medicine to classical music. After dinner, we had gone to watch a movie. There had been a scene in which a man had beaten a woman. Never would I forget what Pete said that night. “There is nothing worse or more despicable than a man who can hit or abuse a woman!” he proclaimed with such passion in his voice.

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How to See Sin through the Eyes of God

 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory… As he saith …I will call them my people, which were not my people; and her beloved, which was not beloved.  Romans 9:22-25

Before we move on to the next era in my life’s search for love, I feel I must linger for a moment more on the subject of sin. If God is Sovereign over my life; then, how does He respond to my sin? Has He allowed my sin? Couldn’t He have stopped me? That is what I pleaded for?  Then why did He not stop me? Why did He not stop Peter from denying Christ? He told Him that it would happen. Peter pleaded “no.” Yet, instead of stopping Peter from sinning; Jesus prayed for Peter, “that thy (Peter’s) faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren”  (Luke 22:32).

What Satan Means For Evil

Then the question that comes to mind is “Does God then ordain sin? After all He is Sovereign, didn’t He ordain the crucifixion of Christ which was the worst atrocity of sin ever enacted by mankind?” Yet, the answer is clearly “No!” God is not the author of sin; yet, God holds His hand steady—withdrawing for a moment His Immediate Judgement so that the ultimate result will still be His Glory displayed and the good of the Beloved. Complex, difficult thought; however, please let me present my feeble attempt to explain as best as my human brain can comprehend. So, let’s dive in to try to answer this question. This can transform your Christian walk to one of Joyous Victory in Christ.  I wish I had known this way back then.

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