Tag: God’s Love

Can Two Broken Vessels Ever Hope To Know Love?

 

“When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

It was April 2, 1979 that I married Pedro Barba, Jr. For me, that day was like a fairy tale dream come true. From our first date and I guess you could say until now, I was and will always be in love with Pete. Ours was a love whose history would forever change how I saw love. Indeed, God used Pete to teach me about sacrificial, unconditional love—a love that lives on, seeking always for the happiness of the Beloved. I know now, better than I could have understood then, that it was God who so richly blessed me that day. Our wedding was a very simple ceremony. Just Pete and I stood before the Birmingham Justice of the Peace. The Justice of the Peace paused a second and then asked, “Is it ok if I perform a Christian Ceremony?” With great joy, I proclaimed, “Yes!” It was as though God, Himself had reached down to tell me He was blessing this marriage.

Two Broken Vessels Unite
ONLY GOD CAN TAKE TWO BROKEN VESSELS TO WEAVE A STORY OF LOVE

For me, it was love at first sight; well, almost. Maybe more like love on first date. He was so handsome, charming, sophisticated and the smartest man I had ever met. There was no subject of which he was not well versed from medicine to classical music. After dinner, we had gone to watch a movie. There had been a scene in which a man had beaten a woman. Never would I forget what Pete said that night. “There is nothing worse or more despicable than a man who can hit or abuse a woman!” he proclaimed with such passion in his voice.

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Pride, Grace, Guilt, Love-How Does Faith Ever Win?

 

“ For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life”               (Titus 3)

Restless nights in prayer I have pondered on how to continue telling you the next step in my journey toward discovering the truth of love. It would be so easy for me to tell you how desperately miserable I was, how I worked two jobs while finishing high school, how the church failed me, mom failed me, and how no one came to rescue me. I could tell you how an 18 year old ended up in the hospital with atrial fibrillation and elevated blood sugar from stress. I could tell you of how I stuttered—unable to speak clearly once more. Truth is I sinned—no excuses.  So, what happened?  Pride got in the way. The doctor I worked for told me, “You can’t go on like this. You need to get a divorce and restart your life.” My reply? “No, it can’t happen. I cannot fail.” Famous last words? Sounds a lot like Peter, “Even if everyone else fails you Lord, I won’t” (Mark 14:29). Not me! I could never do that!

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I wish I could tell you that I had stopped praying or reading my Bible. At least then, I had some excuse why I slipped away into sin. No, indeed my Bible study and prayer escalated in intensity as I determined that “I” would prove myself worthy of God’s love. Somehow I could and would perform well enough to earn God’s love. I wouldn’t fail like “them.” Ah, but you see. There it was lurking deep within, that self-exalting heart. By the fall of 1973, only months after my graduation; I was in an adulterous affair and pregnant. All the way there, I would like Peter say, “I would never.” But I did. The church told me to leave and not return. The hospital told me to either have an abortion or resign because the baby was half Mexican. (By the way, abortions were illegal). Instead, I got divorced and married the father of my baby. We left for Florida. Did God abandon me? No.

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Poetry Sunday—Grace So Grand

Do we really understand how great a grace we have been given?  That God, the creator of the Universe, would give His only son to die that we might be saved.  If I truly understand the magnitude of God’s Grace and Love toward me, would I ever be filled with sorrow or despair? Could I ever complain or worry about any of the trials I face here on earth?  It is a grace so grand that reached down to love me right where I was.  It is a grace so grand that continued to draw me closer to Him even when I turned my face to seek lesser things.  It is a grace so grand that draws me still, ever closer to His Side.   It has been God’s patience, love and grace that has gently taught me every step of the way drawing me ever closer to Him.

God's grace and love

Grace So Grand

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

My Lord, How can I understand?

The Grace on which my faith doth stand

A Grace so grand that sought me out

Pursued this heart so filled with doubt

My heart desired for lesser things

Like love of men or diamond rings

And though I did not seek your face

You reached to me to give me grace

How could it be you loved me so?

That on this heart of stone bestow

A love so great it drew me in

And pardoned me for all my sin

Forgiving all that I have done

Redeemed I stand by thy dear son

That died the death that should be mine

So in His Glory I might shine

As beacon of His love so pure

Tis Grace that holds my heart secure

Your grace that drew my heart aside

And bid me in your love abide

Is the same Grace on which I vow

To give you all, before you bow

My life is yours-do as you will

What e’er it takes to this heart fill

With your dear love, to overflow

Unto the world that they may know

It was your Grace that loved me so

Your joy has set my life a glow

Your Grace does call to them to come

Drawn by your love to then succumb

Unto your will, accept your son

And know the life that Calvary won

“Grace and truth came by Jesus Christ…of his fullness have all we received… grace upon grace”  (John 1:16 and 17).

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Can One Kind Word Bring Hope To The World?

 

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” Proverbs 18:21…An unbridled tongue “is full of deadly poison” (James 3:8)

What incredible grace it was that God reached down and touched the heart of a 5 year old. He knew what trials lay before this child. He knew what sorrows would befall her. He even knew every time she would fail. Yet, He reached down and touched her heart; revealing the truth of salvation. My clearest memory of age 5 was accepting Christ as my Savior while Dr. M. R. Dehaan’s voice boomed from the kitchen radio. What Grace that God looked down the corridors of my life and chose to reveal Himself clearly to this little 5 year old at the start of her journey. He knew the perils that lay before me. He took my hand that day to never let go!!

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When Charlie left for grade school, I was left behind on the farm. Though he really did not want to go, I longed to go to school. I sat every evening as mom tutored Charlie like a little sponge taking in every bit of knowledge I could. It was with great excitement and joy that finally a year later I was also going to school. I knew little about the perils that lay ahead for a child who had such a tender heart. I had gained a lot of weight that year. I entered school overweight and with a speech impediment. Quickly, I became the one that others teased and made fun of every day. I managed every day to spill my lunch onto my dress to make matters even worse. Top student in my class, I could answer all the questions, was in advanced reading and math; yet, no one liked me.  To add to my despair, I was very sensitive to the pain of others. There was another little boy who was also overweight but did not seem to understand the teacher’s instructions. Every day he got spanked for something. Everyday my heart broke. It broke from watching what I felt was injustice. I wanted to scream, “He doesn’t understand, please don’t hit him.” Still, my voice was silent.

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3 Truths of Love Displayed In a Child’s Heart

If I am to tell you the truth of love; then, I must begin at the beginning. We arrive at every relationship of life carrying our baggage from the past. Unless we are willing to acknowledge and recognize that; we cannot develop meaningful relationships and we cannot truly love another person. My hope, my desire is that through this series I may help you to find strong, unshakeable love that warms your heart and holds fast to truth, hope and joy.

love Begins

As a young child growing up on the farm, my mother says I was very sensitive and tender toward justice. She tells me that at age 3, I would be busy playing when my older brother would take my toys. (Charlie was 10 months older than I). Mom would hear what happened and would come to spank Charlie to make him return my toys. To this she says I would protest. “Please don’t spank him! I don’t want that toy, he can have it. He can have that toy.” I do remember that horrid pain of seeing someone hit another. Years later, I felt the injustice when a teacher would spank a child. My whole body would tremble, my heart break every time someone or something was hurt. I could never have imagined back then that one day I would be crouched in the corner while my husband beat me with a steel rod.

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