The Cry of Rejection

My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

Of all the emotions that we feel, perhaps those feelings of loneliness, rejection, or just somehow not being “good” enough to really be loved are among the most devastating of all.  Those feelings can leave us reeling with pain that tears at our heart, spirit and soul.  Add to that the factor that we live as a broken vessel amidst a broken world, life can send our heart quickly spiraling downward in an instant.  One unkind word, the rejection by a friend, divorce, failure, a loss job, and the list goes on as to those things that cut deep the wounds that were already present.  For me, I cannot tell you when I first recognized this frailty within myself; because, it has been there since I can first remember.  Perhaps my thorn in the flesh.  It in some ways has always been the driving force that never let me be fully satisfied with today’s accomplishments.  Being my lifelong companion, one would think I would always have it mastered.  Instead, I have come to find it as God’s refining tool for me. Whenever those feelings make their attack upon my heart,  I have learned to draw even tighter into God’s arms and lean upon His chest. I spend the day reflecting, growing, listening to an audio book and just waiting for God’s answer.  Over the years, I have learned that God’s steadfast joy may be dampened in those moments into a smoldering ember; but, will quickly reignite into flames as I spend the day talking to Him.  Friday, was such a day of feeling as though I would drown within my own feelings of inadequacy; but, Saturday.  He renewed me through prayer and listening to “Uninvited” by Lysa TerKeurst.  God reminded me of how truly loved I am by Him.  He reminded me how blessed I am in Him. And He gave me this poem for you; whomever you are that needs to hear these words today.  God loves you.  God is always Good. God wants to hold you cradled in His Arms while He sings love songs over you.   Whatever your frailty, He will be your strength in it.  I know He is mine.

The Cry of Rejection

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

The sound of their words

What they had said

Repeatedly playing sad tunes in my head

The Scars from my past

The sorrows, regret

Like sirens whose blaring I could not forget

 

In darkness, alone

My heart’s cry does long

To desperately feel somewhere I belong

To know I am loved

To make my appeal

Rejection the thought that seemed all too real

 

It wasn’t their fault

How could they have known?

The scars I hid deep and never had shown

The secrets of heart

That longed to be found

That they might be healed by love to abound

 

The counterfeit lies

Were just a mistake

Like shattering glass my heart then to break

Oh, where is the truth

In a Dark, broken world

Where sorrows and pain are relentlessly hurled

 

The sin of man’s pride

Has taken its toll

Wreaking havoc on each and every dear soul

Yet, if truth then be told

Beneath all our will

Is a void that only God’s love can refill!

 

His Love reached beyond

The abyss we had crossed

He never considered it too great a cost

To accept the rejection

Of man toward His Son

Who in His despair our victory was won!

 

Unworthy though I

He loved me the same

And called me as His by my very name

To be loved as His child

He is all that I need

In Him to be known and truly be freed

 

Freed from desires

Of counterfeit things

From trinkets and toys or frivolous flings

Grounded, secured

In God’s loving arms

Freed from the lure of all this world’s charms

 

As He draws me near

To sit for a while

Enwrapped with His joy, I truly can smile

My worries all fade

As in Him I belong

My heart can now sing a joyous love song

[bctt tweet=”Don’t let your feelings of rejection become your identity.  In Christ you are Beautifully Beloved.” username=”effiedarlene”]

[tweetthis]Wrapped in Christ’s love todays pain becomes tomorrows greatest blessings[/tweetthis]

Picture used by permission: https://unsplash.com/@sebamolinafotos  Inscription was added by me.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Skipping Stones to Your Glory

Tragedies and sorrows seem to always be present surrounding us in this world.  So how can I or you hold onto a steadfast joy despite the tragedies and sorrows of this life?

Stones to Glory

Skipping Stones to Your Glory

by Effie Darlene Barba

 

Storms surround my life today

Sorrows urging me to pray

With gentle voice, I hear You say

Trust in me I’ll guide your way

 

A pilgrim in this foreign land

Where is the hope in which I stand?

You paid the price- that just demand

And hold me firm within Your hand

 

Chorus:

So, Precious Lord let my eyes see

That you have won my victory

Whatever sorrows facing me

Are skipping stones to Your Glory

 

Fix my eyes on Christ my Savior King

And then, oh then my heart will sing

Of Your wondrous Joy in everything

No matter what this life may bring

 

The sorrows of life, their ebb and tide

That force me on my knees abide

And rips away my selfish pride

That in thy Grace my tears subside

 

The trials that would tear apart

This fragile, broken, lonely heart

Except thy love can ne’er depart

Each day, Your Grace-my fresh new start

 

Chorus:

So, Precious Lord let my eyes see

That you have won my victory

Whatever sorrows facing me

Are skipping stones to Your Glory

 

Fix my eyes on Christ my Savior King

And then, oh then my heart will sing

Of Your wondrous Joy in everything

No matter what this life may bring

Jesus Christ has already won the victory.  All I need do is to focus upon Him.  How can I hope for Joy if I do not focus upon the very source of Joy?  All these trials, pains and sorrows are merely stones on which I may skip closer to Him.  If I embrace the truth that Jesus Christ holds all things by the power of His word; then, I can have the assurance that “all of this works together for my good.”  Everything is but a skipping stone on my journey toward seeing Glory, Beauty and Majesty beyond any thing this heart could imagine.  If I know that God is and that He rewards all who seek Him, then I can trust Him in the midst of every trial that comes my way; knowing that His plan is to bring me into His bosom of everlasting Joy.  There are no “bad days” for those who know Christ as their Savior.  All of those days we might have once thought bad are merely stones upon which we may skip our way closer to Him.  The more I see Him, the more I realize that He is my Joy, my greatest Treasure, and my Everlasting love.  So what Satan meant for evil in an attempt to steal my Joy; God has used for good every single time. [tweetthis] Every trial, pain, and tear have brought me one step closer to Glory. [/tweetthis] I hope this poem warms your heart today reminding you of Him.  My prayer each morning is that God reveal to You His Joy, His love and His Glory that you might seek Him.  May He establish your faith in Jesus Christ and comfort you through whatever trials you face today.

Photo used by permission of Arto Marttinen via Unsplash.com  The inscription I added.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Do You Know God’s All Sufficient Love for You?

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

So it was that I arrived into Orlando, Florida where I would spend the next 10 years of my life. While I drove the truck, my nephew came a day behind with my car, Mom and her cat. A few months later, Ron came to join us as well. My life settled in, as Florida Cardiology became my extended family. I found a church home. God graciously allowed my finances to stabilize. Tithing plus had become a part of my life, as I trusted God with providing all that I needed. (Tithing plus meaning 10% was the minimum I gave, plus whatever additional giving God directed beyond that). Life had its ups and downs; as is always the case with life on earth. It was in Orlando that I found my voice in poetry, speaking in the jail ministry, and writing.

God's Sovereignty

The desire that God bless me with my very own Prince Charming to love me would awaken again. Twice more I would believe I found him and twice more my heart would be crushed. Then, one day; sobbing uncontrollably; I screamed into heaven, “Why God must you always break my heart? Why would you not give me this one thing?” Then, I suddenly realized the truth. It was as a soft, gentle whisper in my mind, “My dear child, don’t you see. It was you who has broken my heart over and over again. Do you not realize that I am enough? My love is greater than anything I could give you on earth.” There it was—God’s truth for me. So, with a somewhat heavy heart; I laid down my dream. Perhaps, I was not yet ready to bury it; but, I did lay it down ever so gently to rest.  Oh, yes; there would be moments in which I would mourn the dream itself. It had been a fantasy which had been very much alive in my heart and now it was gone. My focus turned to God alone. That was when I found my voice in poetry, writing and speaking. This blog was born and I began publishing books.

Continue reading “Do You Know God’s All Sufficient Love for You?”

Why Is God Always Working to Perfect Me in Love?

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands. Psalm 138:8

God never gives up on me! Think about the impact of knowing that truth. I don’t mean just knowing it with your mind; but, really knowing that truth in every fiber of your being. He is always, constantly concerned with “perfecting” my heart. He loves me just as I am with all my blemishes and brokenness. While at the same time, He loves me too much to leave me there as He found me. Steadily, gently with great compassion and love; He is always about the work of transforming my heart to be a little more like Him. He wants for me to have the best of His Joy, His peace, and His love in my heart. He also knows what needs to be transformed within my childish heart to help me see Him clearer, know Him better, and to comprehend the magnitude of His love toward me.

Perfecting love

About 9 months after I had moved to Springfield, I began to get phone calls from Mom that were desperate pleas for “Help.” She was battling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Each time I would take off, take her to her psychiatrist who would adjust her medications. I arranged for her to get counseling as well. Then, I would return to Springfield which was four hours from Dexter. After about a month of weekly trips, I realized that Mom was not getting any better. Although, she had thought she would be glad when “I and my kids finally left so she could rest;” that wasn’t the case. Now she needed me.

Continue reading “Why Is God Always Working to Perfect Me in Love?”

3 Lessons About Love from The Battlegrounds of Cancer

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love…and to know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.  Ephesians 3: 17,19

This series has been about searching for the truth of love. At least, my journey in that search. Life hits us at times with hurricane force winds and we feel that we can barely hold on. Yet, in the end it is love that holds us firmly in place. Much like a young tree that has withstood heavy winds of time whose roots have sunk deeper with each trying wind. Each trial in this life can become the means that we sink our roots a little deeper into the firm foundation of love. “God is love” (I John 4:8). So, it is that even my cancer had its place in my journey to discovering the truths of love. It was like that hurricane wind forcing me to dig my roots ever deeper into the only foundation that could hold me—God’s love; while at the same time forcing me to face the lessons along this journey that would ultimately lead me to discovering the splendor, beauty and joy of knowing love.

God uses the ashes

As you may remember from the previous writings, I had learned the truth of sacrificial, unconditional love from my marriage with Pete. Yet, love in its fullness has many more aspects as I still was going to need to learn along my journey. When Pete’s earthly death had ripped him from my arms, there was left a gaping void in my heart which I daresay was more evident because I now must face the next lessons of love. Love is strong enough to withstand was one of those lessons. My love for my children pushed me forward through the battle against cancer. God in that gave me a small glimpse of the strength of His love for me which endured so much more than I would ever have to endure as Jesus died on the cross to cover my sins. There were many more lessons left to learn to even begin to know all the complexities, the magnificent beauty of God’s love in us—the real truth of love which can then out pour into rivers of joyous love in our lives.

LOVE’S SEARCH

Continue reading “3 Lessons About Love from The Battlegrounds of Cancer”