Tag: faith

What to Do When I Fail With All My Heart?

What to Do When I Fail With All My Heart?

Often I have heard sermons on Peter’s denial.  I have listened intently as pastors explained the different analogies concerning why Peter failed this test. I have heard it explained that Peter failed because  he followed Jesus at a distance or that he became too concerned for his own life. Others commentaries say that he stood with the wrong crowd as he warmed himself by the fire. We wish we could find a reason for his failure. Then we would find the formula that prevents us from stumbling as well. My heart so longs to love God better!! I want to be a testimony for Him. I want to always present Him well.  I wish I could find the truth as to why despite my desire to please Him, to love Him and to follow Him; sometimes, I make a mess of it all. When that happens, then, like Peter—all I can do is to fall before God’s throne of Grace to weep a little while.

broken/contrite heart by Ronald Barba

 

Peter truly loved the Master. He had left everything to follow Him. At times, Peter was a bit tempestuous like the sea he had fished in. Yet, his heart longed to please the Master. This had been a long night as Jesus told them that He must go away so that the Comforter would come. Jesus tried to prepare them; but, Peter didn’t really want to hear this. He didn’t know how He would survive without Jesus being present to guide Him. Was it fear that caused Peter to deny Jesus? I don’t think so. Peter had pulled out his sword in front of a cohort of soldiers; but, Jesus told him to put it away. Peter had followed while others had scattered. He didn’t know what the plan was next. He needed Jesus to tell him the plan. “Where do I go now? What do I do now? If I am not to fight for you, then what?” Haven’t you been there? I have. In those moments of waiting when you feel so lost and alone, uncertain as to what the next step is. Those moments when you are praying with all your heart and soul not to fail God; then, you find yourself flat on your face in the mud anyway.

Continue reading “What to Do When I Fail With All My Heart?”

Poetry Sunday Out of the Darkness, I hear Your Love Song

This Christian Pilgrimage will always be laden with mountains and valleys deep.  We can rest assured that God has a perfect plan that will guide us along the way.  Sometimes in the evening hours, I may feel defeated by the day or discouraged by my own heart’s foolish desires.  Yet, this I know.  God is everyday and every night about the task of perfecting my heart so that one day, I will be His Radiant, Unblemished Child.  Then, I will fully understand the depth of His love and be filled with the fullness of His Joy.  For now, I stand firm; clothed in the Righteousness of Christ.  Last night as I went to bed, I had no song to write.  As I whispered a prayer before I went to sleep, I asked God to send me a new song by morning break.  I awoke with these words playing in my head.  He is an Amazing Father.  He is my fountain of Joy in the deserts of my heart.  He is my Greatest Treasure and the Love of my Life.

In the darkness of night

Out of the Darkness, I hear Your Love Song

By Effie Darlene Barba

I gazed at the world, such sorrows abound

The tragedies, trials which seem to surround

I looked deep in my heart where sadness I found

From foolish desires and dreams so profound

Like smoldering flames upon desert ground

That burned into ashes and scattered around

I whispered then softly a cry with a prayer

A plea sent resounding throughout the night air

“Forgive me, I know this foolish heart of mine

Sometimes does tend to moan and to whine

I truly do wish my heart could be free

To Love you, My Lord as You have loved me.”

I did not then wait to hear your reply

As off to my bed I did go with a sigh

 

Then Out of the darkness I hear your love song

Erasing my sorrows from all I’ve done wrong

Enwrapped by your presence I know I belong

My frail, broken heart began beating so strong

For You are the Joy for which I so long

“Oh love of my life, stay here by my side

My Savior, My Lord in your grace I abide

Lying here in my bed, tightly tucked in your arms

I drift back to sleep safe from all of life’s harms”

 

And then I awake, to face a brand new day

Restored by your love, I bow down to pray

“Oh let my life song be a tribute to you

A light in the darkness the world now to view

How your Mercy and Grace did my heart now renew

From the ashes of sorrow, a garden you grew

Like Rivers and fountains of Joy in my heart

Bringing life to this desert-a fresh brand new start

Oh, Thank You dear Lord for all that you’ve done

But mostly I thank you for Your Precious Son.

The perfect reflection of all that you are

My Savior, My King, My Bright Morning Star”

[bctt tweet=”Never be afraid to lay your burdens, fears, & frailties at the foot of the cross every evening “] [bctt tweet=”You will be awakened by God’s Gracious Love and Joy will be yours in the morning light.”]

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2015

Photo used courtesy of Unsplash.com.  I added the inscription.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

 

Poetry Sunday-God’s Song of Love

 

Sing, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel; be glad and rejoice with all the heart, O daughter of Jerusalem. The Lord hath taken away thy judgments, he hath cast out thine enemy: the king of Israel, even the Lord, is in the midst of thee: thou shalt not see evil any more. In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem, Fear thou not: and to Zion, Let not thine hands be slack. The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing   Zephaniah 3:14-17

God sings over us    Zephaniah was written to the nation of Israel during a time in which they had forsaken God.  It was a call to repentance as King Josiah reigned.  King Josiah had found the books of the law which had been ignored by the people and upon reading them wept bitterly—humbly He worshipped God and lead the people into a revival.  Zephaniah also preached a revival song in which he declared that God would in mercy call forth a people of His own.  His Love would provide the way of salvation.  The Mighty Warrior who was foretold of is Jesus Christ.  He would come with such Glory and Grace that all who believed would humbly bow before His throne of Grace—their sins forgiven.  The power and the might of my salvation is firmly held in God’s Mighty Powerful Love—He will sing a song of joy over me.  He it is that cradles me in His arms of love.  I can rest assured in His Arms of love through any circumstance.  He will finish all that He has started in my life.  Cradled safe in His Arms of Love, I am filled with Joy, Hope, and Peace.  I hear His voice singing over me His precious lullabye—victory’s song. 

God’s Song of Love

by Effie Darlene Barba


I fell before your precious throne

With broken heart so all alone

My tears were falling like the rain

And then I heard this sweet refrain


CHORUS

I have loved you before the dawn of time

Desired to give my joy sublime

My love held tight

By my own might

Come, dear child, I’ll hold you near

Wrapped in my love there is no fear

Cradled tight within my arms

Safely kept from this world’s harms

I’ll sing my song of love for you

Your hope and joy I will renew


Amazed by grace, my hope did grow

Enlightened heart his love doth know

All fear now gone, I rise to run

For I am God’s dear precious one

As He sang


CHORUS

I have loved you before the dawn of time

Desired to give my joy sublime

My love held tight

By my own might

Come, dear child, I’ll hold you near

Wrapped in my love there is no fear

Cradled tight within my arms

Safely kept from this world’s harms

I’ll sing my song of love for you

Your hope and joy I will renew


So, as I walk this journey here

I’ll love and live without the fear

For I will stand with faith so strong

Because for me He sings this song

CHORUS

I have loved you before the dawn of time

Desired to give my joy sublime

My love held tight

By my own might

Come, dear child, I’ll hold you near

Wrapped in my love there is no fear

Cradled tight within my arms

Safely kept from this world’s harms

I’ll sing my song of love for you

Your hope and joy I will renew

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2015

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Poetry Sunday: I’d Traveled Far

 

 

My life’s journey has lead me to so many places and so wondrously has allowed me to meet so many amazing people along the way.  Today’s poem, I wrote in October 2013 as I was preparing to leave Orlando and move to Columbia, Missouri.  In 2003, I had left Springfield, Missouri to go to Orlando.  I was uncertain why God had sent me to Orlando; yet, I with some hesitation had gone.  Some many dear friends I met every step of this journey—so many have been beacons of light sent by God to guide me. 

overflowing joy

 

 

I’d Traveled Far

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

I’d traveled far across this land

Unto the eastern shore

Uncertain of what God had planned

Alone, I stood once more

I’d heard Him bid for me to go

Twas all I needed know


And then I saw, as time did pass

His plan begin unfold

I had been placed within His class

To learn His love untold

And as I saw His Glory Shine

His joy, His love now mine


I met dear friends along this way

That helped me as I grew

And others stumbling blocks did lay

God used to guide me too

That I might see His Grace His might

With Christ my guiding light


And Now I know that I must go

To leave these all behind

I wonder if my life did show

A Glimpse of God’s dear mind

And did my life His Glory shine

Within this mirror of mine


Oh, Lord I have this one request

When memories of me rise

That they might see how I was blessed

Your Grace my greatest prize

You took this broken, selfish heart

To fill Your Love Impart


So, can you Lord, use all I’ve done

Though blend of good and bad

To point them Lord to your dear son

His Grace, His Love did clad

A simple person such as I

With righteousness on High

I don’t usually include a song on  Poetry Sunday; but, today I shall.  The song I think so clearly speaks of my life’s journey is Call it Grace.

 

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2015

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

 


Poetry Sunday—A Mother’s Prayer

 

I searched through my archives of poems written and felt drawn to post this one.  I wrote this several years ago when one of my children had come to me with their heart broken by love.  My heart crushed with their sorrow; yet, I knew that God’s plan was never wrong.  His plan was to bring them good—even through the sorrow.   All I could do was listen and gently say, “You may not understand now; but, you will.  God’s love for you only allows what is good.  Wait, you will see—out of the ashes of this horrible pain will come His Joy into your life.” As a mother, my heart wishes that I could bear the pains of this journey for them.  I would rather be ill than to watch them suffer.  A thousand times, I would prefer my heart crush in place of theirs.  I know the same is true of you Fathers out there.  Truly, this prayer could be that of a Father as well.  I do not know why God drew me to this poem today.  Perhaps it is for you—to comfort your heart. 

My Children and I-1982

1982 Me with my 3 greatest Joys of this life

 

A Mother’s Prayer

by Effie Darlene Barba


There is no pain so great, so deep

As when I see my dear child weep

When sorrows come or dreams are dashed

Their broken heart; their hopes are crashed

The wrenching pain cuts deep my heart

I fear that it shall rip apart


My tears pour down like searing rain

I cannot bear to see their pain

Oh Lord, dear Lord for this I plead

Please let me take their bitter reed

This is my prayer both day and night

Give me their pain and they delight


And then I felt your arm’s embrace

And saw the tears upon your face

The tenderness within your eyes

Had made me pause and realize

That you had felt my pain before

As your dear son my cross had bore


How great the pain you felt that day

My sin upon your son did lay

Your love for me, the guilty one

Endured the pain and watched your son

Bearing the wrath that sin demands

Rejected, beaten, nail pierced hands


And so, dear Lord, help me to see

Your plan for them as was for me

To drive them deep within your arms

Away from all these worldly harms

That they may hear Your Joy-filled song

Sung over them amidst the throng


In You their life remains secure

Your love for them is ever pure

And gentle eyes become their gain

The wisdom, hope that’s born from pain

And points their eyes to always see

Glorious Grace- Eternally

 

This I know.  God loves my children even more than this human heart is capable of and I can trust His plan for their lives.  His Grace and Love surrounds them—He will be their Joy.  He will be the strength that carries them through the storms of life.  He will be their light through their darkest valley.  On this I am sure.   

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.