Tag: faith

How to Actually Conquer Your Fear of Inadequacy

How to Actually Conquer Your Fear of Inadequacy

Sometime in 2005 the desire to be an orator for God began. It was about the same time that I was drawn to writing “A Broken and Contrite Heart.” I began to study, pray, and journal as I prepared to write this book. Occasional words of poetry began to be also in my journal. Still there was another voice inside that paralyzed me from continuing, “Why would God choose me to speak or write? I had speech therapy as a child and I still sometimes stutter when I get nervous. I don’t have any special talent like comedy or singing to draw the people. I am just me. If the people look deep and discover how often I have failed in this Christian walk, the times I have been filled with trembling fear, or lost my way because of jealousy-anger; they might condemn me. Instead of helping God, I might just mess things up. Why would anyone want to hear my story?” Still, deep within me a soft voice pushed me forward.

fear-of-inadequacy_thumb.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[bctt tweet=”The next step to your Destiny is Now!!”]

JUST TELL YOUR STORY

Then, I heard David Ring say, “If you want to make an impact for Christ, just tell your story.” So, I began; but only intermittently until emergency surgery forced me to sit down for two months. I had to smile, as I told God, “I guess I have run out of excuses. I will finish the book now.” I did and I published it later that year. My hesitation had been my own fear of inadequacy. I was so afraid that I might fail God in what I wrote. Or worse, if I let people too close and they see my scars will God be embarrassed of me. Sound familiar? It is the story of almost every one of God’s Biblical Heroes of Faith. God was so kind that in each of their stories, He included all the blemishes and all the failures in the narratives of their stories. Yet, in Hebrews 11; they still were the heroes. That is God’s amazing Grace and love. He chooses ordinary people (like me) to do His extraordinary work.

Continue reading “How to Actually Conquer Your Fear of Inadequacy”

Poetry Sunday: Oh Father, I Love You

On this Father’s Day, I want to give tribute to all you father’s out there who so exemplify Christ in your sacrificial love and devotion to your family.  I learned so much from my earthly father who went to join my brother in heaven in 1993.  I have written many poems and tributes to him.  One such tribute was “I Am His Child”

Today, I was drawn to write a poem about my precious heavenly Father who has loved me with His Everlasting love, unconditionally.

Oh Father, I Love You

by Effie Darlene Barba

 

Oh, Father I came to you first in my youth

Ready to run and tell of Your truth

I studied and worked to make you so proud

You’d see all I’d done- I’m not like the crowd

 

Polished and shined Your Glory I’d show

From mountaintops shout to the valleys below

I knew I could do it-then you would see

All of my beauty-then you’d love me

 

Then came the years when all seemed so wrong

I fell to the ground-crushed by the throng

Though I struggled so hard with all of my might

Nothing seemed good, nothing seemed right

 

Oh Father, my Father; I don’t understand

Weary and worn by the years in this land

I’ve failed you so often, I’ve made Your heart sad

When all that I wanted was to make your heart glad

 

All of the struggles, the trials of life

The sickness, the pain, the sorrow and strife

I’m covered with scars, the battles I’ve lost

While chasing vain dreams at such a high cost

 

“Dear Child don’t you see it is all as I planned

So, please, my dear child, come take my hand

Your beauty doth shine more bright than the stars

Aglow with a radiance shone forth from the scars

 

Your eyes are so tender, washed by a tear

My Grace to reflect to all who draw near

Your heart that was broken-stripped of your will

A vessel now emptied- my spirit could fill

 

Oh, how I love you, my child don’t you see

I’ve heard every whisper, I’ve heard every plea

It was I who held you in the dark of the night

I sang you a love song until the dawn light

 

I’ve watched how you’ve grown, the love in your heart

That sparkle of joy you to strangers impart

You could not become the person you are

Were it not for the tears or occasional scar

 

I’m so proud of you child, all you’ve become

I’ll shout from the heavens, my child “Well Done”

You’ve been faithful and true through all of your life

Through the trials, the heart breaks, and even the strife

 

Covered with righteousness bought by my son

Redeemed you have been, your victory won

You never were meant to win by your might

The battle was mine, mine only to fight”

 

Oh, Father, I love you with all of my heart

My greatest treasure you’ve been from the start

The Joy I know now, came from all those years

A precious, rare gift  that you gave me through tears

 

[bctt tweet=”God’s Love Pursued Me, Engulfed Me, and Filled me with His Joy, His Hope, and His Love Song.”]

If you want to leave a tribute to your father, please feel free to do so here—COMMENT HERE.

The artist that drew the picture “A Broken and Contrite Heart” featured on my header  is Ronald Barba.  Please go to his website ( http://www.barba-art.com) for information regarding obtaining copies or to commission him to create a masterpiece for you.  Feel free to email him at Ron@Barba-Art.com to discuss any art projects.

©2015 Effie Darlene Barba

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

5 Truths to Audacious Faith in a Parched Life

5 Truths to Audacious Faith in a Parched Life

All alone, I once more was packing up a house to load a truck and cross the country to go where I was certain that God had commanded I go. Going through all the “stuff” and downsizing. How do we accumulate so much stuff over time? Stuff that seemed so trivial and unnecessary. Trinkets and objects that perhaps once seemed important were now what I was discarding. I sighed with the thought, “How much money wasted that could have been used for something more important?” I was tired of moving while at the same time filled with the anticipation of what God had planned. Though I was wearied by my life’s journey, I had over the years learned that God loved me with an everlasting love, God had a perfect plan for my life, and He was the treasure I sought in what was often a dry and thirsty land. Through all the pains, sorrows, surgeries, and losses of this life; God had been there to guide me. I had loaded the final box. Then the trailer hauling my car was attached behind. Tired and exhausted I went to the empty house to sleep on the floor before leaving the next day. I wasn’t certain what awaited me in Missouri; but, this I knew. God was with me and before me. He had a plan and that was for my good.

 

In the deserts of lifeoriginal photography courtesy of Jim Peregoy

TENTS IN THE DESERT

Abraham had headed out into a land unknown because God said go. There were times when Abraham got lost along the way. There were times when Abraham’s faith waivered; but, in his heart—he loved God. He believed God. He always returned to the altar where he was willing to place his greatest earthly treasure because he trusted God. His faith had grown wandering in that desert. He had come to learn of God’s faithfulness. More importantly, he had come to realize that the promises of God were still yet to come. God would one day, through the seed of Abraham send down His own greatest treasure to be poured out as a sacrifice that all nations might be blessed. Christ would come; just not in Abraham’s earthly lifetime.

Continue reading “5 Truths to Audacious Faith in a Parched Life”

Can Fear Engender Faith?

When I walked into the assisted living where mom is now staying, it was about 5 pm. She wasn’t at the dinner table where she normally would be at that time of day. They didn’t serve the food until about 5:30; but she always got there early to “make certain they didn’t forget her.” This time, I found her in her room with the lights off. She was lying in bed and kept saying, “I am just sick because I am so afraid I am going to run out of diapers. I couldn’t even sleep last night.” I went over to her closet to find she had over 50 pull ups there. She was in a complete panic. I could see the fear in her eyes. I tried to comfort her with the reality that she had more than enough to last at least two weeks and that I would bring them later in the week. No decrease in her panic. I reminded her that never over the 13 years that she lived with me did she run out of anything that she needed; because I had always provided. Still, no decrease in her panic. Again, I reminded her that I came regularly with additional things at least 2 times per week. She had a pantry of food in her room that I kept stocked, “just in case they forget her or are late.” Finally, I promised to return the next day with a fresh new supply of 72 more and then she was content.

faith to trust

DOES GOD WEEP WHEN I AM DOUBT HIS GOODNESS?

For me there was the blend of frustration and sadness, that after all I have done to try to ease her anxieties, she was still afraid over what for me are trivial things. Then I realized that for an all-powerful God who has provided for me every step of the way, how often I have sounded just like Mom sounded. Throughout the scripture, God has written; “do not fear for I am with you.” Yet, how often have I in my lifetime felt fear; even panic while awaiting His answer to something I am certain would now seem trivial. How often in my lifetime have I caused God sadness because I didn’t see that He was enough? Jesus wept when the crowd did not recognize that He had come with the gift of life to raise Lazarus from the dead. He had come to demonstrate His Glory that they might have joy in Him; yet, no one saw that(John 11). Have I caused Him to weep when I have failed to trust Him? He is all I need. He is working out the best for me. He has promised to be faithful and to complete the work He began in my life.

Continue reading “Can Fear Engender Faith?”

Christian Poetry: A Voice for You

I wrote poetry from time to time when I was younger; but, that was rare and far between.  Then in 2004, I began to write Christian poetry with more frequency.  It would be hard to tell you what happened; but, it seemed as though the words would flow from my heart.  Today, I have been working on upgrading my website so that it is more visible.  My desire is to spread the Joy of Christ through the media available.  At times that has been quite a learning experience, as I did not grow up in the computer age and have had to learn by trial and error at time.  I changed the format, so all my “shares” reset themselves to zero; but, this is for the better—at least it is suppose to be. This weeks poem was inspired by those experiences today.

A Voice For You

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

I Google this and Facebook that

Dear Lord, how can it be

That life has now become complex

The forest midst the trees

 

My Father, dear I wish to write

And tell them of your word

Or even speak-to be your voice

Is that a dream absurd?

 

I know, dear Lord I have no skill

No great or brilliant mind

The only thing I have to give

My heart to thine affined

 

I give to you my voice, my hands

To do with as You please

And when I wander off somewhere

Please Lord, my will do seize

 

Help me Lord, to not get lost

Amidst this techy world

So that your Glory might shine forth

On peaceful wings unfurled

 

And teach me all I need to know

To spread your word abroad

That when they see your beauty fair

Their soul enwrapped and awed

 

Dear Father, now on bended knee

I bow before your throne

Please take from me each selfish thought

Replace them with Your own

 

I would love to hear from you or if you want to share your poems. You can COMMENT HERE.

The artist that drew the picture “A Broken and Contrite Heart” featured on my header  is Ronald Barba.  Please go to his website ( http://www.barba-art.com) for information regarding obtaining copies or to commission him to create a masterpiece for you.  Feel free to email him at Ron@Barba-Art.com to discuss any art projects.

©2015 Effie Darlene Barba

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.