How to Actually Conquer Your Fear of Inadequacy
Sometime in 2005 the desire to be an orator for God began. It was about the same time that I was drawn to writing “A Broken and Contrite Heart.” I began to study, pray, and journal as I prepared to write this book. Occasional words of poetry began to be also in my journal. Still there was another voice inside that paralyzed me from continuing, “Why would God choose me to speak or write? I had speech therapy as a child and I still sometimes stutter when I get nervous. I don’t have any special talent like comedy or singing to draw the people. I am just me. If the people look deep and discover how often I have failed in this Christian walk, the times I have been filled with trembling fear, or lost my way because of jealousy-anger; they might condemn me. Instead of helping God, I might just mess things up. Why would anyone want to hear my story?” Still, deep within me a soft voice pushed me forward.
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JUST TELL YOUR STORY
Then, I heard David Ring say, “If you want to make an impact for Christ, just tell your story.” So, I began; but only intermittently until emergency surgery forced me to sit down for two months. I had to smile, as I told God, “I guess I have run out of excuses. I will finish the book now.” I did and I published it later that year. My hesitation had been my own fear of inadequacy. I was so afraid that I might fail God in what I wrote. Or worse, if I let people too close and they see my scars will God be embarrassed of me. Sound familiar? It is the story of almost every one of God’s Biblical Heroes of Faith. God was so kind that in each of their stories, He included all the blemishes and all the failures in the narratives of their stories. Yet, in Hebrews 11; they still were the heroes. That is God’s amazing Grace and love. He chooses ordinary people (like me) to do His extraordinary work.
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