The Cry of Rejection

My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

Of all the emotions that we feel, perhaps those feelings of loneliness, rejection, or just somehow not being “good” enough to really be loved are among the most devastating of all.  Those feelings can leave us reeling with pain that tears at our heart, spirit and soul.  Add to that the factor that we live as a broken vessel amidst a broken world, life can send our heart quickly spiraling downward in an instant.  One unkind word, the rejection by a friend, divorce, failure, a loss job, and the list goes on as to those things that cut deep the wounds that were already present.  For me, I cannot tell you when I first recognized this frailty within myself; because, it has been there since I can first remember.  Perhaps my thorn in the flesh.  It in some ways has always been the driving force that never let me be fully satisfied with today’s accomplishments.  Being my lifelong companion, one would think I would always have it mastered.  Instead, I have come to find it as God’s refining tool for me. Whenever those feelings make their attack upon my heart,  I have learned to draw even tighter into God’s arms and lean upon His chest. I spend the day reflecting, growing, listening to an audio book and just waiting for God’s answer.  Over the years, I have learned that God’s steadfast joy may be dampened in those moments into a smoldering ember; but, will quickly reignite into flames as I spend the day talking to Him.  Friday, was such a day of feeling as though I would drown within my own feelings of inadequacy; but, Saturday.  He renewed me through prayer and listening to “Uninvited” by Lysa TerKeurst.  God reminded me of how truly loved I am by Him.  He reminded me how blessed I am in Him. And He gave me this poem for you; whomever you are that needs to hear these words today.  God loves you.  God is always Good. God wants to hold you cradled in His Arms while He sings love songs over you.   Whatever your frailty, He will be your strength in it.  I know He is mine.

The Cry of Rejection

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

The sound of their words

What they had said

Repeatedly playing sad tunes in my head

The Scars from my past

The sorrows, regret

Like sirens whose blaring I could not forget

 

In darkness, alone

My heart’s cry does long

To desperately feel somewhere I belong

To know I am loved

To make my appeal

Rejection the thought that seemed all too real

 

It wasn’t their fault

How could they have known?

The scars I hid deep and never had shown

The secrets of heart

That longed to be found

That they might be healed by love to abound

 

The counterfeit lies

Were just a mistake

Like shattering glass my heart then to break

Oh, where is the truth

In a Dark, broken world

Where sorrows and pain are relentlessly hurled

 

The sin of man’s pride

Has taken its toll

Wreaking havoc on each and every dear soul

Yet, if truth then be told

Beneath all our will

Is a void that only God’s love can refill!

 

His Love reached beyond

The abyss we had crossed

He never considered it too great a cost

To accept the rejection

Of man toward His Son

Who in His despair our victory was won!

 

Unworthy though I

He loved me the same

And called me as His by my very name

To be loved as His child

He is all that I need

In Him to be known and truly be freed

 

Freed from desires

Of counterfeit things

From trinkets and toys or frivolous flings

Grounded, secured

In God’s loving arms

Freed from the lure of all this world’s charms

 

As He draws me near

To sit for a while

Enwrapped with His joy, I truly can smile

My worries all fade

As in Him I belong

My heart can now sing a joyous love song

[bctt tweet=”Don’t let your feelings of rejection become your identity.  In Christ you are Beautifully Beloved.” username=”effiedarlene”]

[tweetthis]Wrapped in Christ’s love todays pain becomes tomorrows greatest blessings[/tweetthis]

Picture used by permission: https://unsplash.com/@sebamolinafotos  Inscription was added by me.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

How Can I See the Girl in The Mirror as Beautiful?

 

“Behold, how beautiful you are, my darling,
Behold, how beautiful you are!
Your eyes are dove’s eyes.” Solomon 1:15 (AMP)

As I returned to school, I was so grateful to have my daughter to drive me and to help me for the first two weeks, then she went back home. Next step was to face chemotherapy. I would receive the chemotherapy every three weeks for 4 doses. What I soon found was a pattern. Three days after chemo my body ached, my shoulders hurt, my brain seemed in a fog, and there was a heavy metallic pressure in my mid chest which was so intense I could hardly breath. That would begin to ease and then 9 days later, a horrendous fatigue along with the severe drop in my white count would happen. By day 18, I began to feel a little better; then it was time for the next dose. It was God’s grace and sheer determination that I pushed on through school. I knew that if I stopped I would give up; besides, my chemotherapy was at Vanderbilt. I really didn’t have a choice when I considered I had school loans which would come due. As it was, I wasn’t allowed to work as a nurse anywhere while on chemo and money was enough of a problem.44437142_m

Remember the plans I had? Look on the bright side with the various wigs, weight loss and the improved body due to the tummy tuck!! Well, not exactly what happened. My weight shot up 40 pounds (the only thing that eased the pain in the chest was ice cream or cheese every two hours)—that plus the steroids with each chemo added to the weight gain. Besides, not a time to try to diet. My scalp was so tender that the wigs were miserable—a scarf was a little better; but, nothing was the least painful. So, I went bald most of the time and only wore the wigs when around my sons so they did not have to see the baldness. The tummy tuck? Well, now I had no waistline—just flat down the sides as well as the front. In fact, all of that brought me back full circle to that little girl in first grade.

Continue reading “How Can I See the Girl in The Mirror as Beautiful?”

Poetry Sunday—Because I See Thy Gift of Grace

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Because I See thy Gift of Grace

By Effie Darlene Barba

A pilgrim’s journey through this land

Through meadow’s soft and desert sand

Beside the gentle bubbling streams

With flowers kissed by sunlit beams

Or rushing, roaring water falls

Whose beauty gasps and danger calls

Twinkling stars in the dark of night

That guide my way and shed their light

The gentle breeze across my face

Whispering words of God’s sweet Grace

Creator Lord with all You do

Whom else on earth could I pursue

For all I have and all I am

Is due to You—My precious lamb

Who chose to die and pay my price

In You I find my paradise

And now I see through different eyes

This course on earth no more disguise

Its beauties shine, your glory clear

I feel your breath, your warmth so near

To warm the chill within my soul

Like fireplace lit in winter’s snow

You blessed my life with love’s sweet kiss

That hope and joy arise amidst

The darkest trials I may face

Because I see thy Gift of Grace

[bctt tweet=”Surrounded by God’s Grace Love, & Glory. Let my eyes seek His beauty & my ears His Voice.”] Let me each and every day grow to love Him more, seek Him as my greatest treasure, never lose the awe of His creation, and run to fall before His throne of Grace to be near Him.  Dear Father, transform this heart to desire only you. 

Do you have a poem that you would like to share?  Click here to leave your comment or to share your poems. 

The artist that drew the picture “A Broken and Contrite Heart” featured on my header and who designed my logo is Ronald Barba.    Please go to his website ( http://www.barba-art.com) for information regarding obtaining copies or to commission him to create a masterpiece for you.  Feel free to email him at Ron@Barba-Art.com to discuss any art projects.

Photograph used by permission ©123ref/ Chee-Onn Leong

©2015 Effie Darlene Barba

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.