Really, What Is The Most Agonizing Heartbreak Of All?
It was early spring in Dallas with all the beauty of early flowers budding and a gentle soft breeze that caressed your face as you went outside. I was especially excited that day as I prepared for Pete’s return from Mexico. He had gone to visit his family as I had stayed behind to run the clinic. He had been gone for a month. Now, he was going to return. I had cooked his favorite foods. The house was spotless. With trembling hands of love, I carefully put on my makeup. I wanted so to sweep his heart away when he got off the plane. Meticulously dressed, I then got then turned to make certain Alberto and Ron were also dressed with their best—everything meticulously ironed and pressed as it should be. I loved my husband so much and wanted to bring joy into his life. Each son had made him a very special gift. Ron had drawn him a beautiful picture and Alberto had crafted a beautiful card. I placed their gifts carefully on the bed next to the meticulously wrapped gift box. Inside the box, I had placed a beautifully crafted sculpture of a tiger which I knew he would love. I was so excited with the gift I had found for him. One final look and everything in its place, I put the boys into the back seat of the truck.
We got to the airport with just enough time to park the truck and hurry in for the arrival of his plane. As he walked through the doors we were there and went straight to him. “What! Are you just getting here?” he snapped. Angrily, he walked on to the baggage claim. No hug for me nor his sons. We scampered behind him. I tightly held each boys hand as we hurried to keep up. Silence remained as we had gotten the bags. My heart groaned with such a sigh—but no sounds could be made. Finally in the truck, I once more tried to ask, “How was your trip?” “Terrible and I don’t want to talk about it. You didn’t even care enough to be here an hour early to wait for me,” came his reply. It was a long trip in silence. When we got home, he went to his room—shut the door and never came out. I gave the boys their dinner. Then, I got them ready for bed. Once they were asleep, I went to the spare bedroom and cried myself to sleep. With so much anticipation, I had wanted to give Pete joy, love, and a glimpse of wonder. He never mentioned the gift nor the cards. A few weeks later it sat on his desk; but, never a response or a thank you.
Have you ever with great excitement and anticipation waited with the perfect gift of love for someone only for them to not recognize it? Have you ever poured out your heart to someone; only to be rejected? Jesus, so well knows your heartache as well. Let’s look at
John 11:35 and the verses surrounding “Jesus wept.” Most of my life, I had heard theologians say that Jesus wept because of His empathetic sorrow as He watched the mourners cry. That is until one day I heard Ken Davis present, “It’s Enough to Make a Grown Man Cry.” He pointed out the truth that Jesus was coming to raise Lazarus from the dead. He was coming to display God’s Glory, Power and might. He came to bring a joy that could not be taken away. He came to present hope. He came to be the key to salvation. He came with everything that Mary, Martha, the Apostles and the Crowd could ever need. Yet, they didn’t see it. Read the whole chapter carefully and I think you will see that truth. He did not weep because Lazarus was dead. He wept because no one could see that He came with everything they needed to abundantly live a life filled with joy, hope, courage, and love. Jesus wept because they could not see that He was enough.
HOW OFTEN HAVE I CAUSED JESUS TO WEEP?
My heart shattered into a thousand pieces that day when Pete did not realize that I had done it all with love and that I only wanted to bring joy into his life. That was not the first time, my heart was shattered and certainly wasn’t the last. Human love will shatter your heart often because of all its flaws. Yet, I wonder how many times I have caused Jesus to weep because I didn’t realize He is enough. He has stood with open arms and a perfect unconditional love. In Christ, I have everything I need for a life full of joy, hope, faith, strength, love, victory and beauty. He has showered me with His righteousness, His love, His joy, and His glory. Yet, how often have I cried to Him or grumbled; thinking He wasn’t enough. How often have I caused Him to weep.
WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS ROSE
I pray that I learn to sing, “You’re My Everything.” What about you? Jesus is standing with His loving arms wide open with everything your heart needs to know joy. He wore the thorns upon His brow that He might offer you a thorn less rose. Will you accept this rose from He who loves you perfectly more than anyone else could ever love you?
Original Photo used with permission of Unsplash, quote is mine
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