How to Avoid a Weary Heart When Serving Others

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

Life at times can cause us to feel a weariness of heart and spirit, a sadness that runs deep within our heart and soul. Our body aches with a fatigue that is much deeper than we could imagine. We press forward, striving to be noticed, to be loved and to be appreciated by those around us. It is for that reason, I wanted to delve into the emotional stumbling blocks that we may face in our life. During the last post, I began to explore some of the root causes of weariness of heart and spirit by pointing out that often this emotional fatigue comes as a result of our expectations. In the last post I began with our own expectations of ourselves. Today, I want to explore our expectations from others whom we serve and then Friday I want to discuss our expectations of God. Often, we falter or feel utterly dismayed because our expectations are not met; yet, it is our expectations that are faulty and need to be realigned.As, I pointed out in the previous post. Often, what I expect from myself is perfection. I speak harsher to myself than I ever would to anyone else. Only as I learn to see me through God’s eyes can I begin to overcome this struggle. It is ok to strive to be better. It is ok to aim high and push to achieve, as long as one is able to be content at the end of the day. Having done all one is able; then, with grace lay everything each evening at the foot of Jesus where there is always mercy. Then, arise fresh, renewed the next morning to start again. Do not carry with you yesterday’s failures or sorrows.

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

Another area that leads to our becoming weary deep within our soul is when we expect from others what they for whatever reason cannot give. We want others to notice our efforts, our love and our labor. Yet, more often than not we go unnoticed by our bosses, our church leaders and our family. We give and give only to receive criticism or a cold indifference for what we do. Or at least that is what we think. We grow weary and either become depressed or worse, embittered by their lack of response. Let me give you an example of this from my life.

For 12 years my mother lived with me as I provided for and cared for her. I saw it as a sacrifice of love, as there were times that seemed very difficult due to her bipolar disorder. She moaned as to how miserable her life was, no matter what I did to try to brighten it. There came a moment in which she had decompensated and needed to have someone there with her while I was at work. I hired people, though it was a tremendous financial burden to do so. Most of whom I tried, she would complain weren’t “good to her.” Then, I found one young man whom she adored and always wanted there. Over and over again, I heard about how happy she was with him and of how wonderful a person he was. This went on for months, while I worked 70 hours a week to be able to afford this luxury. Throughout this time, deep within me grew emotions I really did not want to admit. I became angry, jealous and wearied of the whole situation. After all, didn’t she realize I was the one paying him. Yet, there was no thank you to me. I had to stop and think about my own motives. There was no appreciation for all that I was doing. Then, I awoke to the truth. Was what I was doing really an act of love or had it been my own desire to be noticed and loved. Did I really even know love? Or did I give to gain love? It did take me a while to work through that one. Because you see, if I really loved I would not have needed anything in return beyond seeing she was happy.

Most of our difficulties in any relationship with other people comes out of our own needs and expectations. We want to gain from that relationship in some way. We walk into the relationship with our own luggage filled with needs, wants, and desires. True love has no expectations from the beloved. Their pleasure becomes more important than our own. When that is true our joy is fulfilled by the very act of giving.

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. I John 4:10-11. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Hebrews 4:8

When I was least lovely, God gave His son to die for me to save me. I had nothing to bring in return or to give. He wooed me with time, patience, and grace though I often murmured or complained instead of being grateful. I wanted other things to fulfill my joy. Much like Mom had with me–I had been toward God. When I realized that, I learned to love without expectations of those whom I love. Only then, is it truly love that I give.

[bctt tweet=”True love loves without expectations beyond the pleasure and wonder of having known the beloved.” username=”effiedarlene”]

[tweetthis]Seeing the joy in the beloved eyes is enough to make true love happy.[/tweetthis]

The same is true at work and in every other relationship. I have learned that my labor in all that I do must be a labor of love for God.

I have labored in vain; I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity; yet surely my right is with the Lord, and my recompense with my God. (Isaiah 49:4)

Our recompense is measured not according to “our success” but “our labor” and, as with our blessed Master, vouchsafed even in the failure of our ministration. Charles Bridges

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. I Corinthians 15:58

Photo used by permission https://unsplash.com/@jaketthacker

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.