‘I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:9-10 (NKJV)
Nothing cuts deeper into our hearts than feelings of rejection or loneliness. Our hearts yearn for love, acceptance, and companionship. We want validation that we matter. We want to know that, at least to someone; we have purpose and meaning. For some of us, rejection cuts at the very core of our being forcing us to come face to face with our own frailties and failures. If we are honest, I daresay that is true of most of us.
As the fall of 2000 approached, my sons were off to college and I prepared to have major surgery once more. This time I was having my colon removed. Terry and I had begun to try to mend things. Maybe there would be a chance to piece together our relationship again. Then, Terry said he would drive me the 4 hours to the hospital for my surgery; but, then he was leaving for a hunting trip. So, it was there would be no one for the doctor to talk to after surgery. I was alone as I went into surgery that morning. I made the arrangements for my daughter to fly into St. Louis and take a taxi to the hospital 5 days later (estimating the day of my discharge). When we arrived at the hospital, we parked the car so I would know where it was. Terry became angry I wouldn’t let him take the car to meet up with his hunting buddy; but, he had left me stranded without my car once before. So I insisted he take a taxi to meet his friend.
The surgery went well. My daughter stayed with me for the first week after I got home. I would have an ileostomy for at least 6 weeks which was tough to deal with; but, I kept reminding myself how fortunate I was it was only temporary. Three weeks after the surgery I suddenly had fevers of 103. I went to a local ER; but, they really weren’t certain what should be done. I was able to get in touch with my surgeon, who said I needed to come back for admission. Terry said he had no time to take me; so, all alone I drove the 4 hours with a fever of 103. After a week of being in the hospital, once more I went home to be alone. I managed to give myself the IV antibiotics on schedule; despite my utter lack of energy from having had the steroids stopped suddenly. I couldn’t afford the home health care nurse and Terry, though a nurse wouldn’t stay to help. So, I did it alone; at least, I knew how and could do it.
REJECTED AND ALONE IN THE DARK
Adding to my sense of rejection and loneliness, Mom had earlier that year said, “I’ll be glad when you and your darn kids are gone so I can just sit down to rest”. So it was that all alone, I sat shivering at 3 am one morning trying to replace the ileostomy bag that had broken again. I sobbed uncontrollably. Alone, rejected and filled with despair. My cries rang into a silent house as I wondered, “What is so wrong with me that no one could ever love me?”
WHERE WAS MY FAITH?
All the months of mornings alone with God, all the Bible study, nor all the years of walking with God had prevented that desperate feeling of loneliness or rejection on that morning. The truth is it doesn’t always prevent our feelings of despair, rejection, and loneliness. In fact, when I have those feelings of loneliness or rejection; I tend to chastise myself for my “lack of faith.” That self-chastisement just makes me feel more unworthy, more rejected, and more unlovable. So now what? What do we do when those moments knock us down?
EXAMPLE OF JESUS
We do just what Jesus did. Remember the garden of Gethsemane? Jesus, God’s only son, Perfect Righteousness had come to earth to save mankind from the curse of sin. Yet, there was none more rejected by the very ones He had come to save than He. When He went to pray that night in the Garden of Gethsemane not even His apostles stayed awake for Him. Never had He felt so alone as He cried in agony to the Father. In His human body, Christ felt the despair of loneliness and rejection. He cried out in agonizing prayer.
STEPS TO OVERCOME THOSE FEELINGS OF LONELINESS AND REJECTION
1. Remember, it is OK to cry out to God in our agony. Just as He sent angels to comfort and strengthen Jesus in His human form; so, it is He will send angels to comfort you
2. When Satan whispers in your ear, “You are unworthy!” Shout back, “I know I am unworthy; but God chose me, God loves me and I am His redeemed Child.” Then quote Romans 8:38-39 (NKJV)
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate (me) from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus (my) Lord.”
3. Remember that morning will come.
“ For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
4. Unlike Jesus who had no sin, we recognize that sometimes it is our own sins that have brought us to that place of loneliness and rejection by men. So, can we hope that God can still love us, the adopted children? Yes, even if it were my own sin that brought me to this place, God will restore my hope and joy in Him.
“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:8-9)
CONCLUSION:
Has something happened that has made you feel rejected or lonely? Are you battling with your own feelings of self-worth? Are you battling some illness or facing some trial and feel all alone? Then, my dear friend; you are not alone. Turn to Jesus. If, I am honest; I now realize both Terry and Mom were reacting out of feeling unloved and rejected as well. [bctt tweet=”Our only hope as human beings is to cry out to God to fill us with His strength His love His Joy.” username=”effiedarlene”] Then, we reach out to lend a hand to those around us who are also drowning in despair. Read the verse at the beginning once more and let it fill your heart with hope because it is His Righteous Right Hand that holds you, not your own.
‘I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:9-10 (NKJV)
The song I chose for you today is If We’re Honest.
Original Photo by https://unsplash.com/oliviermiche Inscription is mine
New King James Version(NKJV) Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.