Doubt, fear, worry all seem to be a part of our human nature at times. Interwoven within our humanity there is that part of our brains and emotions that so quickly responds to situations with fear and doubt. Perhaps that is why in the scripture over and over is written, “Do not fear.” God’s way of saying, “I know you don’t understand fully; but, don’t be afraid and don’t worry.” He so gently, so patiently reminds us over and over again. Just like a loving Father who comforts a child; He is constantly reminding us of His presence and His love. He reminds us of His presence. He reminds us of His love. Ever so patiently He teaches us, guides us and comforts us along this journey. How quickly we react to situations at first with fear or doubt!! I know I do and I suspect if you look deep within so do you. Perhaps that is why we so quickly want to condemn Thomas’s doubting; yet, can we? If we focus so much on Thomas’s doubt or “why he failed”; perhaps, we fail to understand the true wonder and grace that faith itself is. Even my faith is a gift of God which He ever so gently prunes and grows within me along the way.
We know very little about Thomas from the scripture; but, I think we need to look just a little deeper at what we are told about him. Instead of immediately using Thomas as an example of what we “shouldn’t be”; I believe that as we need to look a little deeper at Thomas’ walk to discover what we should be. Thomas is mentioned only as being one of the apostles in Matthew, Mark, Luke and Acts. Only in John do we get some insight into who Thomas was. We are told that was called “Didymus” which means twin. Four times in the book of John, Thomas’s conversation is recorded. What is amazing is that Thomas is the only one who is recorded as proclaiming Jesus is God. Jesus had been called “Messiah”, “Teacher”, “Master”, and “Son of God”. Yet, we read in John 20:28 that when Jesus stood before him, Thomas said “My Lord and my God.” What were the steps in Thomas’s walk that perhaps we need to look at with fresh eyes, seeking to know the truth. Then, perhaps when we quit criticizing him so much we can actually see the steps we also need to finding a deeper faith when we face life’s trials.
THE HEART OF THOMAS
The first time that Thomas is quoted by John was when Lazarus had died. Jesus was preparing to make the journey to raise Lazarus from the dead. The last time that Jesus had been in Judea, the people had wanted to stone Jesus. So, to return seemed to all the apostles as not being a good idea. All were afraid to return. Jesus had waited 3 days after hearing that Lazarus was sick because He desired to show them His power over death by resurrecting Lazarus from the dead. Then, when Jesus told the apostles of His plan to go to Judea, they all murmured among themselves. “Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellow disciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him” (John 11:16). Perhaps, yes a little pessimistic; however, he was willing to follow Jesus and urged the others as well. Have you ever done that? With sad, somber face pick up your cross to carry your burdens and dutifully follow Jesus? I must say that was me, once upon a time in this Christian Journey when I faced a lot of trials. Yet, God patiently led me onward and upward to discover His joy in the midst of those trials. Do notice though, Thomas was willing to follow dutifully even if that meant he was marching to his own death. He was willing to die to his own will to follow after the one he loved which was Jesus. Even if at first it is with somber duty we follow, we still follow in love.
SEEKING TO UNDERSTAND
The second time that Thomas is quoted in the book of John was in John 14. Jesus has been telling the apostles that He must go away and that in doing so, He would prepare for them a mansion where they would go to be with Him forever. Let’s pick up in the midst of that conversation, “4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14 NKJV). Here we see Thomas earnestly wanting to understand. Unashamed by his own lack of understanding, he seeks clarity. He wants to know how to follow and where he must go. We, too, must be willing to bow down and seek understanding. God has promised to give wisdom and understanding to those who ask. He will reveal the path before us, one step at a time.
DOUBT TURNED TO FAITH
The women had returned to tell the apostles that the body of Jesus was gone and Mary to tell them she saw Him. From the other gospels we are told that the 11 were there. It is reported that none of them believed. Then in the evening when Jesus appeared to them, we know that they were locked, frightened behind closed doors. That is they were all there except Thomas. We are never told where Thomas was. Had he left because he felt confused over the news or was he out looking, hoping to see Jesus? Then, the others tell him that Jesus came and stood in their midst. Was he upset that Jesus appeared to them and not to him? Ah, but don’t we often compare ourselves with other Christians? How often have you wondered why God provided a miracle for “her” or “him” while you are still waiting for an answer? Then, Thomas tells the others that he won’t believe until he sees Jesus, touches his hands, and his side. That was no different than the other apostles. They didn’t believe either until Jesus stood in their midst and showed them his hands, his feet and his side. Yet, look at how Jesus responds. Eight days pass. Thomas, like us, most likely in his own pity party. Yet, staying close to the others, just in case. Then Jesus appears and immediately looks at Thomas and says look at my hands, my feet and my side. Thomas had not said this to Jesus directly; yet, Jesus knew what had been said. Thomas was overjoyed—it wasn’t even necessary to touch the side of Jesus. Thomas declared, “My Lord and my God”
CONCLUSION
Our journey of faith often leads us through those moments in which we feel that we are dutifully carrying our crosses. Yet, as we continue to seek Jesus, to follow after, and to seek His wisdom to understand; we will one day understand and rejoice with praise. When we realize that God sees us where we are. God knows the best plan for my life. He knows what will bring me closest to Him and to understanding that He is My Joy, My Hope, My Love, My Peace, and He is my Lord and MY GOD.
The song I chose for you today is Your Grace Finds Me
photo used by permission of https://unsplash.com/mickeyoneil The words I have added.
©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.