As I packed up everything in the house to move to Springfield; I realized I was moving forward to start again.  How many times had I done just that?  Why could I believe that this time would be any different?  Recently divorced, feeling like a failure, while at the same time recovering from a year and a half battle with ulcerative colitis.  The yearlong high doses of steroid had wreaked havoc on my body and my spirit.  Now, after surgery to remove all my colon, I was left with the task of marching on while facing the withdrawal of steroids.  Not an easy task when fatigue overwhelms you. Behind me lay all the guilt; perhaps, most the feelings that I had failed God.  Moments of feeling like a champion of faith mixed with the opposite feelings of having failed. Now I had to find the way to start again.

Throughout the cancer and the fighting with illness, I had learned to arise early each day to be alone with God.  That was how I made it through and I knew God would be with me through it all.  I gained a lot of strength from reading Paul’s letters: God’s word spoken to guide me through.

 

GRACE TO START AGAIN

Particularly in those moments of defeat, I must remember God’s Grace is there to lead me on.

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

I had to learn not to look behind at either the accomplishments I had made, nor in the failures.  Either one would paralyze me from focusing on Christ.  Focusing on my own failures or accomplishments meant that I took my focus off Jesus and placed my focus on me.  My hope to stand depends on how closely I focus on Jesus Christ, His grace.

START AGAIN, ANEW

So, off I went to start anew; eyes focused on Jesus.  Little did I know that God would ask me to move twice more over the years; however, His plan has proven the best.  Each time, my focus grew clearer and I knew God lead the way.

You see, God’s mercies are new every morning.  He never lets go and will even take all your failures and transform them into good; as you turn your eyes to Jesus, the Author and finisher of your faith.

If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior: I urge you to go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link, if you have a prayer request email me by clicking here or comment here

CONCLUDING TWEETS:

[tweetthis]This I have learned: God’s Plan is best-no matter what[/tweetthis]

[tweetthis]When you must start again, forget what is behind and focus on Jesus[/tweetthis]

 

OTHER RESOURCES AVAILABLE

A Broken and Contrite Heart, I published in 2010, answers the question, “What do I do when I keep falling into the same sin? Does God hate me because I keep failing to get this write?  So, where do I begin again and find joy in my salvation; after, falling.  If you want to know more about this book or the other books I have written:  You can find a link at: Book Resources.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash The inscription I added.

Whatever I thought mattered pales in comparison to knowing Jesus as my dearest and most intimate friend.  Over the course of my lifetime, I have lost many things, faced many trials, cried rivers of tears from a heart that has been shattered, and stared death in the face. However, every step of the way; Christ was there to comfort.  He drew me close and I realized He understood; because He too had faced suffering.  There was a sweet fellowship in suffering; where I understood that He knew exactly how I felt, and He loved me enough to have suffered all that He did, so He could save me.  Suffering brings me to the heart of Jesus.

When I chased after counterfeit joys, He waited patiently, always ready to pick me up once more after I had crashed to the ground.  There, He would pick me up, wipe away all the muddy dirt, and dry the tears.  The battles of my heart, the fight against cancer, all the surgeries from ulcerative colitis, the loneliness of widowhood, the mass on the pancreas and all the financial burdens I faced; worked together to bring me to this place of resting, trusting in God.

Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings  Philippians 3:8-10

THE FELLOWSHIP OF SUFFERING

When sorrows and trials come into our lives, we find greater comfort from those who have been there. They have the empathetic, understanding ear.  Certainly, they are the ones who sitting silently, holding our hands can truly sigh with you.  They feel your tears.  Jesus Christ does just that.  He faced many sorrows, pains and trials along His journey here on earth; not, because He had too; rather, He chose to.  Hebrews reminds us that we have a high priest who understands us; because, He, too faced pain, hunger, rejection, beatings and death on a cross-bearing the shame and guilt that should have been mine; so that, I might find my righteousness in Him.

God’s ultimate purpose for you and I is that we might look like Jesus one day.  Every trial we face brings us one step closer to that goal.  Not only does it force me to cling to Him with greater fervor; but, it also gives me the empathetic ear to hear another’s tears.  Often, I find because of all I have walked through; people know I really can hear their pain.  Perhaps, my eyes have grown a little grey and tender over the years; filled with heart that has grown through the pain.  So, not only do I gain a sweet fellowship with Jesus; I gain the insight needed to draw others to Him.  What would my life be worth, if I did not have the opportunity given by Grace to tell others about Jesus?  After all, He can transform their eternity?

CONCLUDING TWEETS

[tweetthis]Is there any suffering too great for the salvation of one soul?[/tweetthis]

[bctt tweet=”If it is a cross I must bear to bring me closer to Jesus, then a cross I will bear” username=”effiedarlene”]

[tweetthis]Closer to Jesus, that is my prayer; whatever, God plans I desire[/tweetthis]

[bctt tweet=”Jesus–my hope my joy my comforter & my companion in every suffering trial I face” username=”effiedarlene”]

If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior: I urge you to go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link, if you have a prayer request email me by clicking here or comment here

 

OTHER RESOURCES AVAILABLE

I wrote and published Mountaintop Experiences in the Valley as a revised version in 2011 from the first writings I did in 2003.  If you want to know more about the books I have written:  You can find a link at: Book Resources.

featured  Photo by RoninRon Custom Art The inscription I added.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

When I look back over my life, so many parts I would not have chosen.  Ah, but you see; God did.  Little did I know that my greatest gain would come only after I lost most of what I clung tightest to.  Mostly, I could not gain my own Being in Christ; until, I came face to face with my own nothingness without Him. God stripped me of all my pride; that, I might find in Him all that I need.  After seeking to gain His pleasure through the works of my hands, I surrendered in defeat; only to find there at the foot of the cross, I was made new.  During all those years, I loss a lot of who I thought I was or believed I desired; only to discover: My Greatest Gain came from losing all I thought best; having it replaced with God’s Best Plan.

Having accepted Christ at such a young age, I studied His world with a ferocious appetite to grow.  My desire remained steadfast, seeking and searching to know Him more.  Still, a weed began to grow; perhaps, from the ideas planted in my tender years; that, I must work hard to gain God’s pleasure.  By my early teens, a sense of pride began to grow within my heart.  Looking toward heaven, I prayed, “God, aren’t you proud of me?  I love you and follow your commands.”  I cannot tell you if my pride truly came from truly thinking highly of myself or more from a desperate need to know God truly loved me, which I believed I had to earn.  Yet, those fate filled words came shortly before I began a spiraling fall; facing the depth of my own inability to do His Will.

WHEN LOSS BECOMES OUR GREATEST GAIN

Paul, the apostle knew this all too well.  He had much to be proud of concerning his own personal fulfillment of the old Testament Law; however, when he came face to face with Jesus–that changed.  Now, being held prisoner; having lost his honorable position in the Sanhedrin and nearing dying from beatings and stoning; he wrote these words in Philippians 3:4-11

 Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.

But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,  And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.

Paul had lost everything that had been his identity; that he might find his greater identity in Christ Jesus.  Nothing else mattered as much as knowing Jesus Christ as Lord and master.

STEP BY STEP, ONE GLORY AT A TIME

Certainly, I would not have chosen the years of abuse, the cancer, the chronic illness and multiple surgeries.  Nor would I have chosen widowhood.  Never did I want to fail God by my own sins.  Yet, step by step; God allowed me to stumble at times, so I might find my only righteousness in Him.  Because of my stumbling, I see the world through eyes of grace; which I could not have gained.  My sufferings drove me into the arms of Jesus.  The tears that covered my pillows at night brought me to a place where I could hear God’s comforting songs of love in the darkest night.

Yes, step by step; God drew me closer to Him.  Amazingly, I even sin less; now that I recognize my own inability to win against sin; because, I rest on Him and His victory rather than my own.  Now, instead of trying to gain His pleasure, I rest in it.  No matter what trials come my way and I know there will still be many; I count all things loss for excellency to know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

Looking back over my life, I thank God; He did not give me what I wanted; rather, He gave me His best plan for me.

So, let me close with an excerpt from this poem I wrote.

An Act of Grace

As I look back over my life

Remembering the pain and strife

There were those nights of bitter tears

When I awoke heart full of fears

To stumble then to find my chair

Where I would sit alone in prayer

 

My Bible opened there I’d read

Of hope, of love, of all I need

Your songs of joy poured over me

Salvation’s song had set me free

And suddenly I saw a light

A thought that brought such pure delight

The pain had been Your act of Grace

To Cause this heart to seek Your face

And find in You, my love, my friend

This hope and joy will never end

If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior: I urge you to go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link, if you have a prayer request email me by clicking here or comment here

CONCLUDING TWEETS

[bctt tweet=”When you have lost everything else and found Jesus Christ, then you have everything” username=”effiedarlene”]

[tweetthis]My true identity can only be found in Christ Jesus, letting go of my self[/tweetthis]

 

OTHER RESOURCES AVAILABLE

I wrote and published Mountaintop Experiences in the Valley as a revised version in 2011 from the first writings I did in 2003.  If you want to know more about the books I have written:  You can find a link at: Book Resources.

featured  Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash  The inscription I added.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Paul presented the gospel of Jesus Christ to the gentile nation. He spread the good news of salvation to all who would believe. The true followers of Christ were those who worshiped with a true circumcision of the heart. Not those who touted an outward circumcision, with no repentance.  Throughout the Old Testament there had been those who came to God from outside the Chosen nation of Israel.  Rahab, the harlot and Ruth held the distinct privilege of being a part of the lineage of Jesus Christ.  We, even read of Nebuchadnezzar who in his later days; despite all the evil he had done previously, worshiped God and even commanded his nation to do the same.  Jesus reached out to the Samaritan woman at the well, crossed the sea to save one demon possessed man and healed the Centurion’s son because of his faith.

From the time that God called forth Abraham to establish a nation of worshipers, circumcision became a symbol separating them from the world.  Circumcision became the symbolic gesture of God’s covenant with them as His people. However, time and time again they as a nation, failed to follow God’s commands.  They would worship idols, complain against God, and ultimately reject the Messiah who came to bring Salvation to the world.  God remained faithful in His covenant to the nation of Israel, and still does today as they will play a major role in the end prophecies.  However, their outward circumcision of the flesh did not guarantee their true worship; unless, the outward expression symbolled a true circumcision of the heart.

GOD’S CALL TO TRUE CIRCUMCISION OF THE HEART

Continue reading Getting to the Heart of Worship-The True Circumcision →

Sometimes along the road of life, when overwhelmed by sorrow or pain, we look up and at the first the mountains seem to loom before as impossible. Filled with evil lairs we fear may hide trials so grave they may destroy us.  There in the darkness, God calls us to come, take His hand.  One step at a time until as we focus our gaze on Him; inching ever closer.  Then, amazingly we look down and realize we have reached the peaks of those mountains, we had so feared.

Along the Road of Life

 

As I walked along this road of life

Amidst the rambling thorns of strife

I felt the pains-like sharpened knife

Tear open scars of yonder day

 

I gazed before me – looming there

Mountains filled with evil lair

I wanted then to cry a prayer

Yet, agony’s silence stole my way

 

I felt so desperately alone

Until a light before me shone

A King who sat upon a throne

A path to whom before me lay

 

And then I heard a still small voice

That called to me to sing, rejoice

I pondered then to make the choice

To choose Joy’s song as mine today

 

I felt within a warmth, a glow

It felt as if my heart did grow

As joy and love within did flow

My pains and sorrows swept away

 

I took a step, just one at first

Desiring more His hope I thirst

To drink His love until I burst

With laughter’s wondrous ray

 

My heart rejoicing rose to sing

As lifted up on eagle’s wing

My weakness bids- His strength to bring

My fears and doubts He came to slay

 

Amazing then before my eyes

The mountains that had hid the skies

No longer did before me rise

Instead beneath my feet did lay

GOD’S WORDS OF HOPE

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.  Ephesians 3:20

 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:18

they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

If you don’t know how to accept Christ as your Savior: I urge you to go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link, email me by clicking here or comment here

CONCLUDING TWEETS

[tweetthis]God reaches into the darkness of our despair to give hope joy & strength[/tweetthis]

[tweetthis]There is no mountain in life to hard to climb with God at my side[/tweetthis]

 

OTHER RESOURCES AVAILABLE

I wrote and published Mountaintop Experiences in the Valley as a revised version in 2011 from the first writings I did in 2003.  If you want to know more about the books I have written:  You can find a link at: Book Resources.

featured Photo by Photo by Natasha Norton on Unsplash Although the inscription I added

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.