The greatest pain I have ever known was when I lay broken, prostrate before God. It was though the veil was lifted and while I had been asking God, "Why have you keep breaking my heart?" and then, there it lay in front of me–the truth. I had been breaking His heart. He stood before me offering to me the greatest gift of all–His Love, His Joy, and His Glory. Meanwhile, I had been chasing after other dreams and other loves. That moment back in 2005 changed everything. I later had heard Ken Davis speak with the message "It’s Enough To Make A Grown Man Cry" and would recommend it to anyone. Never again can I look at the passage, "Jesus Wept" without wondering if it is my heart that caused Him tears today by not trusting Him; realizing that He is enough. All this other stuff, doesn’t matter; only He matters. With that change of how I viewed the effects of my sin on the heart of God; I see my sin in a very serious light. Indeed, I view it with harsh judgment and need it gone quickly from my life. I never want to dishonor the name of my Heavenly Father or cause Him to shed even one tear because of me. Though, I know in His omniscience He knows the plan to restore me and the repentance before it is given; yet, I am certain He must sigh and say, "Dear Child, All I want is to bring you joy; why do you keep running through the thorns instead? I love you, follow me into the soft green pasture and rest in my love for you." These steps are the ones needed to once more rest in His Grace when we have failed God.
1. I must Acknowledge my failure. Very simple; yet, sometimes complex when we want to merely make excuses instead. We must own our failure. example: Sometimes I want to slap my hand across my mouth in disbelief that I said what I just said; but I can’t take it back. So, I must acknowledge it and not try to blame God for not having shut my mouth (seeing he knew what I was about to say). It is I who said it.
2. Confess to God with a Broken and Contrite Heart. Just mouthing words of forgive me don’t count; unless my heart is truly pained or broken by the weighty guilt of that sin.
3. I must then turn my back and walk away. Not crawl away still carrying the guilt; nor, walk forward back into the same sin for which I repented. I dare say turn your back on that sin and if it seems to be pursuing you–run away. Sometimes that means we must leave behind friends, family, jobs, and places we go; if those are the tempters that pull us back in. When I worked in the jail ministry this was a very important lesson. The girls when released thought they could return to their old friends and would be strong enough not to break the law again; within, a few weeks they were back in jail. Similarly, we as Christians often do the same thing when it comes to breaking God’s laws.
4. Take to heart the lessons you have learned from failure to turn it around to success. Analyze your failure and try to find out what was the deeper heart issue that is in you which drove you toward sin. For me, I had to come to the realization that I have a deep seated fear of not being loved or of not being good enough which drives me to search for recognition. That can demonstrate itself in many forms; but, knowing that makes it easier to pull up the weeds by their roots while laying it all before my Heavenly Father whom I now know loves me just as I am. He loves me too much to leave me there and guides me to grow. So learn from your failures in the battle with sin so as to gain victory. Pray this. Psalm 143: 10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.
5. Failure may be a part of life; but it does not have to be a Way of Life. I don’t have to accept failure as "Who I am." Who I am is a Child of God, living In Christ who through His Grace is endowed with the means of victory.
6. When I have fallen down in the mud and mire of life, I don’t need to stay there and wallow in the mud. I look into heaven, confess that sin and cry out for forgiveness. The amazing thing is God reaches out His hand and says, "What sin my child, I don’t see any (as He looks through the blood of Christ.) Take my hand, we have work to do. The fields are white for harvest." Then He picks me up and off we go together.
7. Praise Him for His magnificent love and Grace.
Psalm 103:Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;
5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXDGE_lRI0E (Preview)