“A little thorn may cause much suffering. A little cloud may hide the sun. Little foxes spoil the vines; and little sins do mischief to the tender heart. These little sins burrow in the soul, and make it so full of that which is hateful to Christ, that he will hold no comfortable fellowship and communion with us. A great sin cannot destroy a Christian, but a little sin can make him miserable….
“Christian, what hast thou to do with sin? Hath it not cost thee enough already? Burnt child, wilt thou play with the fire? What! when thou hast already been between the jaws of the lion, wilt thou step a second time into his den? Hast thou not had enough of the old serpent?” – from Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon
11 Thine, O Lord is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all. 1 Chronicles 29:11
I have written to you with great truth and conviction about the keys to a forgiving heart and walking through those steps. I wrote yesterday morning about God being my buckler, quickly shielding from all the fiery darts. I stand firm on all those convictions, then last night at the meeting why did I break down, crying, unable to stop as my mouth began to talk. All of the feelings of perceived pain, sorrow, frustration, and rejection came bubbling out of me. What part of trusting God came out in that? Where did my faith go for those fleeting moments? I dare say I don’t know; but, this I do know. Once more, I was trying too hard to work to prove my worth, since deep within me I battle that thought that no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough. I was too tired and I forgot to pray before the meeting. Additionally, that little thorn had been left in for the last year; despite my searching for it to remove it. It had festered and grown. If I had told them of my perceived pain last year then it could not have grown; I would have known for a fact that it was only perceived and never intended. So today, once more I bow before my Father and am so grateful that..as David tells us in Psalm 103:
12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.
14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.
And I am forever so glad to be His Chosen Child, unconditionally loved by God. God Alone is My only hope of Victory against the thorns.
So today, I start again, I will once more go forth into this world (though I would really love to just sit with my Father).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRbWAtU6LPw