There was suddenly inside me an overwhelming restless desire that began to rise within my heart. I felt a longing to know Christ as my friend. The feeling rose within my heart until I could do nothing less than to ask Christ in, with a sudden feeling of love, joy and hope that filled my heart and spirit. In an instant I felt safe, loved, and as if my spirit could fly. Beyond that moment, I cannot tell you much about me at age 5; except for that one memory. It was a Sunday morning and from the radio, I could hear the voice of Dr. M.R. Dehaan as he was preaching. I had heard his voice before, nearly every Sunday; but this time it seemed I understood every word. I was in the kitchen entrance way and clearly remember that as these feelings and longings to know Jesus Christ as my friend and Savior, I was facing the corner where the light switch was next to large kitchen cabinet that my father had built. I could smell the aroma of the wood. I cannot tell you why I was there facing the light switch staring into the corner. I cannot tell you how a 5 year old could be filled with shame and guilt, knowing that she was unworthy of Christ; yet, I remember that feeling of unworthiness and the desire to have a close relationship with God. I was overcome by those feelings as in silence I stood there facing the corner. Dr. DeHaan, as he was well known for, was explaining that the blood of Christ was shed to cover our guilt and sin and when the invitation came to ask Christ to come into my heart, I accepted Christ as My Savior.
I cannot tell you how a child of 5 could see Christ as so beautiful; but, even after all these years I remember that sensation of His magnificent beauty and Glory so that I was compelled to desire Him in my life.
At that very young age, I wanted to know Him more. I memorized verses of the Bible as I heard them quoted. Despite that hunger and desire, it has taken most of my Christian journey to even begin to understand what it meant to be “in Christ”. From the moment I accepted Christ as my Savior, I desired with all my heart to please Him. I so wanted to be worthy of His love. I longed for His approval and to know I had gained His love. Growing up, I had been taught a lot about the Bible, but little about how to live this Christian life. I had heard a lot about God’s judgment and punishment; while learning little about His unconditional love and Grace toward me. Every time I looked at my own failures; I felt the
sting of regret. So often I would despair with brokenness of heart. Somehow I feared that though He was gracious enough to have saved me, He could never truly love me. My greatest desire was to know that I could be loved. In fact, I searched high and low for someone to love me; hoping that when I did find someone it would be the validation of God’s love toward me. Still, each time I failed I feared His wrath would be poured out on me. I knew my salvation was by Grace, but believed that I still needed to work diligently to gain His good pleasure. Yet, deep within me I remembered that feeling of love, safety, joy and hope that I had known the moment I was saved at age 5 and those feelings had been interwoven throughout the tapestry of my life. I realized there was something missing in my understanding, some truth that I had not grasped which would transform my Christian walk from one of defeat to one of victory. That lack of understanding as to what it means to be in Christ became my stumbling block over the years. Still, it was His love and His Mercy which ever so gently began a work in me to transform me into the likeness of Christ–one glory at a time, tiny steps toward changing my heart, revealing to me the fullness of love that He had always had for me. As Christians, too often we go about our journey without fully realizing who we are in Christ. Because we do not recognize the positions we hold as part of being the chosen bride of Christ, we go about our walk with the hesitancy, stumbling and falls that one sees in a small baby learning to walk. In fact I remember when little Haley (my granddaughter) first began to walk. She would stand as her legs wobbled beneath her. Her hands reached out to hold herself up to grasp hold of anything within her reach to steady that walk. How much like many years of my Christian walk, reaching, grasping to hold on to anything that could steady my walk and never fully recognizing the depth, the breadth, the height of God’s love that was holding me firm or the magnitude of all that I truly possessed as a result of my being In Christ. It is for that reason that I want to share with you from the Word of God, what positions are yours because you are in Christ. Only then can you boldly walk forth and live out the life that you have in Christ with confidence and strength of spirit. If you do not know Christ as your Savior, my prayer is that you will see His Glorious magnificence and will ask Him into your heart today.
Knowing the truth of who I am in Christ, proclaiming that truth every day and writing it on my heart transformed my mind, heart and spirit. I can truly stand on positive truth filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. That is power filled positive thinking which allows us to rise above all the trials and tribulations of this earth, victoriously and joyfully.
Acts 17: “24 God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands;25 Neither is worshipped with men’s hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things;26 And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation;27 That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:28 For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.”
Listen to In Christ Alone
©2014 Effie Darlene Barba
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.