Remember when I told you that in 2008 I had a great epiphany? I had suddenly realized that it had been I breaking God’s heart and that He had not been the one breaking mine. Actually that had been me breaking my heart as well. It was that same year that I heard the most incredible series of messages by Dr. Charles Stanley called God’s Children Gifted for the Ministry. That series opened my eyes and my understanding, which proved to be life changing for me.
Why didn’t God reveal these truths to me earlier and save me from the years of heartache and failed relationships? He knew I wasn’t ready to hear the truth until then. He knew my greatest asset was my greatest weakness at times. He also knew that it would be a humbled and broken heart that would lead me to my greatest contentment and joy. What an awesome, patient and gentle God He is. He has guided my life with such precision and grace.
So how did a sermon series change my life?
By chance I joined the series when Dr. Stanley was teaching about the gift of mercy. Ok not really chance, that was providence. He began to speak about those with the primary motivational gift of mercy being the ones who were placed in the body of the church to bring joy, hope and love. The apostle who demonstrates this gift most is John. People with this gift are especially sensitive to all the emotional feelings surrounding them. When they walk into a room, they immediately recognize who in that room is hurting or sorrowful. They then find themselves moving closer toward those who are hurting. Even if they hesitate, the person with the pain tends to migrate in their direction because of the kindness, gentleness and peace they elude from their being. Those with the gift of mercy are very empathetic and desire to get underneath the burden of the other to try to lift it off their shoulders. Indeed, often the one with the gift of mercy is willing to take on much of the pain themselves in order to alleviate the other person’s pain. They are willing to vicariously suffer alongside the other. They tend to believe that with enough love they can fix any broken soul. They are frequently hurt and are particularly sensitive to words. They very much need close friendships that are mutual; however, due to their tendency to be drawn to the broken they sometimes confuse their desire to help another with love. As I listened, I suddenly realized that was me. It was like a sudden blast of fresh air when I heard that truth. Equipped with God’s wisdom, I have been able to transform my choices in life. The first step was learning to be compassionate without always rushing in to rescue (sometimes, God needs you to wait until the right time). I also learned that my closest circle of friends and relationships needed to be with people who were there because they were committed to being a true friend and not because they needed me to fix them. The even stranger thing is I learned that I was best balanced by having close friends with people who have the gift of leadership. Why do I say that is strange? Most of my life I would have avoided those with the gift of leadership because they seemed to be too insensitive to my emotional rollercoaster; yet, they were the ones I truly needed in my life.
So, I must tell you about those with the gift of leadership. The apostle who best represented the gift of leadership was James. Those with the gift of leadership are able to see the big picture with a vision of the completed task always before them. They are able to break their goals into smaller tasks, are self-motivated, recognize the available resources, know who to delegate tasks to in order to complete the task, are not deterred by criticism, assume responsibility, and are very loyal. They are so focused on the goal that at times they may appear insensitive because they do not deal well with negativity. They are very decisive. Those with the gift of leadership are very important in the church as well as in the family. They are very level headed and are able to march forward through any trial. At times it may even appear they have blinders on; but, it is that they must keep focused on the vision of the completed task before them.
Beginning to realize the importance of recognizing your motivational gift? For me it was magical. When I first learned, I needed to step back and reassess how to use my gift without allowing myself to be pulled down into the ocean of sorrow with those I wanted to help. In fact, I avoided close friendships for a time. After a time of healing, I was finally able to forge new close friendships. My best friend is someone who has the gift of leadership and they help to keep me balanced by their steadiness of thought and word. They don’t need me, they have just chosen to be my friend. I am able to display mercy without getting so deep in that I drown along with the person I am trying to save. God is so amazing and every day I learn a little more of how awesome God truly is.
Lord, “11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lordmy God, I will give thanks unto thee forever” (Psalm 30).
Listen to Glorious Unfolding This is just the beginning of the rest of your life.
©2015 Effie Darlene Barba
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.