Power filled Positive Thinking—Chapter 17a-If I am God’s Child, then why pain?
It was late October, 1998 in the midst of my Master’s Program. I was to start a new assignment that week, so I had delayed my 4 hour trip to Vanderbilt until Monday morning so I could stay home with my sons one more night. I made the trip every week to Vanderbilt where I stayed in the dorm and returned every Friday. It had been a family decision that I go; yet, there was still a part of me that wondered if I was doing the right thing. Well that particular morning, I could not find my car keys. I searched for hours—the boys were already off to school as I frantically searched to no avail. At 11 am I called a locksmith, who was able to create a key and I could start my journey toward Vanderbilt.
Along that drive, I wondered why the delay; but, something inside kept saying, “God is Sovereign and my delay must have had a purpose beyond proof of my own disorganization; but, I was uncertain as to what that purpose could be.”
There was a 30 minute stretch of road where I could hear a Christian station on the radio and as I neared that area, Alistair Begg’s voice came on. I had never heard of him before, but was quickly drawn in as he preached on, “When the wheels fall off.” I scratched down the phone number quickly at the end of the broadcast and later in the evening called to order the tapes. That evening when I called home, Alberto asked me why I left my keys in his bathroom—so they were found in plain sight. The next morning, full of hope, faith and vigor I went to see the Doctor for the results of a breast biopsy. My step was bouncing, I knew God had this controlled and my prayers had been heard. Suddenly, in an instant my world twirled around as I heard the surgeon say,
“the mass we removed was negative; but there lying behind the mass was some tissue that looked funny. I had taken a piece of it to help reshape the breast. That biopsy is positive for a very aggressive form of breast cancer and we need to talk about a mastectomy and possibly chemotherapy.” My head was spinning, my heart sank, tears suddenly filled my eyes, and a lump rose in my throat. It couldn’t be. What about my sons? Why would God have allowed this? Or, better yet, why would God have ordained this? Had my children not already suffered enough trials? There were more questions than answers; then, I remembered the tapes I had ordered—which later proved to be a life preserver to a tired and weary soul. When I look back, I can say “I met Alistair Begg and the Truth for Life Ministry the day God hid my keys.” I still follow and support that ministry today. Such sound Bible doctrine I have learned from this humble, Scottish preacher.
Which brings me back to the question, if in Christ I am God’s chosen, blessed, beloved, redeemed child; then, why so much pain, suffering and trials on this earth? What is the purpose? Furthermore, how can I stand firm on hope in the midst of all those trials? Is it possible to still say that there is joy in the midst of all the sufferings we must face on earth? How? How can I live a life of hope, peace, joy, and love; when my whole world comes crashing in around me on a regular bases? Worse yet; when trials come, how can I not suddenly become overwhelmed with the feeling that maybe somehow this is all my fault? Did I fail God somehow and this is His punishment? Let’s look at 2 Corinthians 5:17-6:10
“17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God.21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. 1We then, as workers together with him, …:4 But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses,5 In stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings;6 By pureness, by knowledge, by long suffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned,7 By the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left,8 By honour and dishonour, by evil report and good report: as deceivers, and yet true;9 As unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and, behold, we live; as chastened, and not killed;10 As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.”
Faith is knowing that no matter how dark the skies may seem; God’s light is still leading the way and He is in control. It is that peace and joy that arises from the ashes of our brokenness and sorrow which allows us to walk forward in hope when all seems hopeless. It is the Holy Spirit’s comforting love which miraculously allows me to see that dawn is coming. It is that central core of hope in knowing, God’s plan for me is always a plan for good. Faith is knowing that my salvation is hidden in the undeniable truth that Christ has died for my sins and rose again to be forever my victory over sin, death and defeat. Hope, joy, peace, and love in the midst of tragedy are miraculous fruits of the Holy Spirit indwelling me. I stand in awe of this and forever am amazed by these truths.
Listen to this song, “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again”
©2015 Effie Darlene Barba
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.