Power-filled Positive Thinking—Chapter 12A Servant-Called to Serve
Over the past week, I had determined it was time as I placed mom on the waiting list for nursing home placement. For me a decision that has come with a great mix of emotion; but, after recognizing the frailty of my own health, a decision that mom had agreed would be best. Her greatest anxiety in life would be that something happen to me and no one would know how to take care of her. Once the decision was made, mom in her own world of anxiety born out of her bipolar disorder wanted to go now. As I said, “Mom, there is a waiting list that could take 6 months or even a year, so now, we leave it all in God’s hands. He knows the timing.” Well, as the events turned, mom became sick with the flu and off to the ER we had to go Wednesday night about 11. Mom was very weak and the stress of it all, her already very fragile mental status had failed and despite my suggesting her unsafe the ER doctor sent us home. We arrived back home about 3:30 am. By 4 am she had fallen and this time couldn’t get up; so with EMTs, fireman and all, she was safely loaded into the ambulance and off to the second hospital in town. Immediately the doctors at this hospital determined there is no way she could be safely sent home. They took the time to exam her, something the first doctor failed to do.
IN Christ we are called to serve with kindness, humility, and love; as servants of the living God.
As I reflect back over the past 13 years, so often, I have had to be the advocate fighting for mom’s health when she couldn’t. For the past thirteen years, mom has been under my care. Oh, how I wish I could say I have always been the kind, gentle and loving care provider I should be during those 13 years. Sometimes, I have been irritable. Sometimes, I
have felt burned out. Sometimes, I have felt like I was the only one fighting for mom’s health and independence as she had checked out of that process. I pushed her to exercise, to eat better, to think clearer, and to trust God with her anxieties. Sometimes, I have felt jealous and angry when she preferred the caregivers I paid to help in her care. Sometimes, I was hurt when she said I was “mean.” At the end of the day, I have been her servant, her caregiver, and her advocate. Throughout these 13 years, God has revealed to me the depths of my own selfishness at times. He has shown me the darkness of my own self-centered heart. He has taught me what it is to be a servant for Christ. He has skillfully over these past 13 years dissected my heart over and over again so as to remove the debris that was left behind. If was as if my prayer had been, “23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139. He has used mom over these past 13 years to do just that.
Which brings me to the next position we hold in Christ. In Christ, we are servants. We are servants not only to serve God; but, also to serve the church and all those whom we shall meet along this journey. Paul wrote in Ephesians 4: “I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, 2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; 3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; 5 One Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.”
We can talk all we want about love, sacrifice, and service; but, until we demonstrate that by our actions—it means nothing. “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth” I John 3: 18.
Listen to this song, Power of Your Love
©2015 Effie Darlene Barba
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