A Dark December Night and a Song

Psalm 34: 17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.

It was a very dark night on December 15, 1987 as a young man drove down those dark country roads in Missouri on his way to talk to his father, just to visit.  There had been a terrible storm the previous night and the road crews had been cleaning up the debris all day.  As he drove down that dark road the lights from his truck cutting into the darkness.  He came over the small hill and lights peered into the small valley.  Just as his truck lights moved upward to the next hill, there imminently in front of him loomed a very large tree across the road.  There had been no warning signs placed, no "road closed" posted; though the neighbors had reported it throughout the day. He pressed hard the brake as well as the emergency brake with his 6’3" body arching back, head pressed against the rear window. The tires screeched and it appeared that the truck might just stop short of the trunk when a large tree branch shattered through the window ripping through the metal frame, scrapping across his chest and piercing through his neck as the branch lifted his body pinning it on the tool box in truck bed; and the young man had died.  I received the call from mom, telling me my dear brother had died. My mind whirled as I remembered that only 2 weeks prior he had sat at my dinette in my home in Texas.  I remembered his soft curly blonde hair framing his face and the sparkling blue eyes framed with the longest, fullest eyelashes I had ever seen; while I teased him that what a waste he got both and I neither.  It had been God’s gift to send him to my house that week to help repair the mess a contractor had left behind.  Our lives had gone such different directions; it was one of the first times I had told him how much I truly admired him.  Master’s in finances, he had chosen to teach agriculture and shop in the poorest school in the area because it was the only hope of a future most of his students would ever have; and he wanted them  prepared to face the world.  The news of his death cut like a knife through my heart.  So I quickly ran to tell my husband that we needed to all go.  I did not realize then and would learn later that he was frightened of funerals and funeral homes.  All I remember is that he said that he nor my sons would be going, I would have to go alone.  I did not want to leave my sons and I did not want to go alone; but I knew I must go, I could not leave my father and mother alone in this.  There was complete silence on the way to the airport and then as I was getting out of the car, my husband said, "Maybe when you get back, we need to talk about possibly a separation or divorce."  He never meant that as the conversation never came up again; perhaps, it was the only way he knew to deal with grief was to attempt to separate from it.  Still, I felt so alone and broken at that moment.  Sitting on the plane, I leaned against the window and tried to close my eyes.  I thought back on my life and wondered, "Why Charlie and not me?"  He was so noble and just; while I was the one who stumbled her way through, uncertain of the choices I had made in life and wondering why God still loved me.  Death certainly makes one think about life.  As I sat on that plane, suddenly I began to hear a song playing in my head.  It was not a song I had ever heard; but it was comforting.  That was the first time God gave me a song which I later wrote down; and, it was the only poem which also came with music in my head.  It would be many years before I would start hearing and writing poetry in my head which comes at odd moments and for seasons of time; yet, the words carried me through that week and back home where everything had gone very well and I was welcomed home by my husband and children with loving arms.  Let me assure you that no matter what the sorrow is that you face today, God can put a song in your heart to comfort, to uplift and to help you through.  Below is that song which I later had sent to Hilltop Records who placed this tune to it and recorded it; but the music I hear in my head that goes with this song, I think is far better than this arrangement–still I hope you find comfort in it.  We are never to strive in this Christian walk alone; God is there and He will finish the work He began in you.  I remembered the night Charlie as a teenager had accepted Christ as His Savior and I know that one day I will see him again as we both stand in the presence of our Glorious Savior, our Comforter, our greatest love, and our Best Friend–Jesus Christ.   

When I First Came to Know Him

When I first came to know him

So many years ago

I vowed that I would serve him

With heart and mind and soul

Then I found that in my strength

I would but only fail

Then He came and He told me

As we walked down life’s trail

1st chorus

I’ll be your strength when you are weary

And your hope when skies are gray

I’ll be your faith when yours is failing

And your light on each dark day

I’ll be the love your lonely heart

When it’s breaking in despair

I’ll be all in all your everything

If you look to me in prayer

I strove on in my strength

And strayed so very far

Until my life was broken

And sin had left it’s scar

Then I cried, Oh, my Father

How deeply I had failed

Then He came and He held me

And His love prevailed

2nd Chorus

Now He’s my strength when I am weary

And my hope when skies are gray

He is my faith when mine is failing

And my light on each dark day

He is the love to my lonely heart

When it’s breaking in despair

He is all in all my everything

When I look to him in prayer

Now if you have strayed from

Or never knew His love

Then turn your eyes toward Jesus

And seek Him from above

He will take all your brokenness

And fill it with Himself

He will take all your sin away

And fill each empty shelf.

3rd Chorus

He’ll be your strength when you are weary

And your hope when skies are gray

He’ll be your faith when yours is failing

And your light on each dark day

He’ll be the love to your lonely  heart

When it’s breaking in despair

He’ll be all in all your everything

If you look to Him in prayer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LbHd6eZrgk