Power-filled Positive Thinking-Part 5c; 14 steps to Finding Fulfilling Love
So, how do we learn to love? Or even more important, how do we break free from loneliness so that we are able to love others? Henry David Thoreau is quoted as saying: ““Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Such a sad thought; yet, we live in a society that so emphasizes finding that one who can release that song from within us, our soul mate. We long to find someone who sees the darkest crevices of our hearts, our fears, our sorrows, our pains, and our every thought; yet, chooses to love us, walk beside us, and even inspire us. We want someone who will love us and accept us as we are; yet, desires to help us grow to who we can be. We want to find that one person who can see the potential of who we can be and reaches out their hand to gently guide us into the one we were meant to be. That search, that longing deep within our innermost core can drive us down many roads of brokenness, despair, and loneliness; but, never true love. C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
We were created by God so that we might be showered with His love, filled with His love, and overflow with His love. Yet, in His Sovereign wisdom; He knew that we would never know the pure ecstasy of that love were their not choice. Knowing all that and the price He would ultimately pay so that mankind could know that love, God with great patience, mercy, and longsuffering has endured the pains of man’s rebellion. He has endured it all so that He might bestow His Glory, His Riches and His love on each of us who believe in Christ as our atonement for sin. (Romans 9:21-23). In Christ, we are His Beloved. The amazing part is, He loves me right where I am; yet, loves me so much that He won’t leave me there. He sees the very best in me and ever so gently, takes my hand and leads me. Never is He disappointed. When, I fall down, am broken hearted or I fail to see His Joy filled face—He trusts in His Love for me, cradles me in His arms, and sings His love song over me. (Zephaniah 3:17)
original photograph courtesy of Jim Peregoy
God has known me since before He created the Universe. He has known my every thought, every word that would come from my mouth, every time I would fall down and every time He would pick me, and He has loved me with His steadfast love all of those years and will continue to love me throughout eternity. (Psalm 139)
He has promised that nothing can ever separate me from His love (Romans 8:38-39). That nothing includes that not even I can separate myself from His love because my position as His Beloved has been sealed by the Holy Spirit in me. (Ephesians 1:13) God chose to love me and thus he has written a commitment to love me on His own heart that is unbreakable through good and through bad times, when I am lovable and when I am unlovable.
Love is a commitment to love and cannot be based on the waxing and waning of one’s own passions or desires to get one’s own needs met. In order to truly love, I must first have a heart that is whole, complete itself. As God’s Chosen Beloved, my heart is full and; therefore, I am freed to choose to love fully. The problems when I was young came out of my failure to grasp that truth and therefore my inability to allow Him to make my heart whole.
What are the steps needed to transform these truths from simple thoughts in your mind to the reality of your life song so that you realize that you are completely loved and can then from a heart that is overflowing commit to love?
1. If you don’t know Christ as Your Savior, it begins by asking Him into your heart. He cannot fill your heart with His love until you ask Him in.
2. Focus on God’s Love for You. Read about it, listen to music about it, pray about it, write about, and let it fill you to the overflowing.
3. When your heart is crushed and bleeding because it has been broken (which it will be at times when you dare to love); allow the tears to flow in solitude as a prayer to God—just like Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knows that pain of loneliness as He was separated from perfect love at the moment of His crucifixion. Christ is acutely aware of your pain and is therefore your perfect counselor and comforter at those moments. He will not leave your side.
4. Embrace your moments of solitude as a place where you can reflect, get lost in your own creative dreams, and truly find yourself. It is in that solitude that we can feel God’s presence filling us with His Love, restoring us, and strengthening us.
5. Every evening, remember the day and search for any random acts of kindness that came your way, write them down and thank God for them. Perhaps a smile, a sunrise, a song, a thought, the note from a friend, or so many random acts of kindness. With time you will find that you are whispering thank you all day long to God; because, you will realize how often He is whispering “I love you.”
6. Perform random acts of kindness toward family, friends and strangers. Your heart will grow with each act.
7. Cherish every moment you have with your family, your dearest friends, and with those you love. Never ever take that moment for granted or place expectations on tomorrow. Many times it is our own expectations of others that can ultimately break their fragile heart. Once broken, often, only God who can repair the damage.
8. Forgive yourself for your failures. If God could forgive you, you need to learn to forgive yourself. Every moment is a new beginning—keep growing, believing, hoping and taking one step in front of the other (even when those steps are slow)
9. Trust that God has your best interest in mind and He wants you to know His love and His joy. He holds your heart in the palm of His Hand.
10. Find for yourself a creative outlet such as writing, pottery, crocheting, knitting, art, letter writing, and baking gifts; then give it away.
11. Establish an exercise routine.
12. Everyday perform an act of kindness for yourself.
13. Get plenty of rest
14. Remember this—love is a chosen commitment to give, to stand firm through good and bad, to always want what is best for the ones we love. For that reason: true, fulfilling love can only come from a heart that is whole.
In Christ, you are God’s beloved—claim that truth, write it on your heart, and let Him guide you. You will find joy, hope and love. He will strengthen your heart to face every step of this journey. I know that to be true—He has mine. I will not tell you that I never feel moments of fear, never face brokenness, and never feel lonely or confused. Oh, yes; I still do. The wonder, grace and awe is that in the midst of all that; I stand strong, I feel loved and I choose to love with all my heart, spirit and soul because I know that the joy of love far exceeds the sorrow. Beyond that, even a broken heart is better than an empty heart. God can mend the broken heart.
Listen to this beautiful song and let the words wrap you with the love of God. Shoulders by King and Country.
©2015 Effie Darlene Barba
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.