Can Two Broken Vessels Ever Hope To Know Love?

February 29, 2016 Effie Barba 4 Comments

“When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

It was April 2, 1979 that I married Pedro Barba, Jr. For me, that day was like a fairy tale dream come true. From our first date and I guess you could say until now, I was and will always be in love with Pete. Ours was a love whose history would forever change how I saw love. Indeed, God used Pete to teach me about sacrificial, unconditional love—a love that lives on, seeking always for the happiness of the Beloved. I know now, better than I could have understood then, that it was God who so richly blessed me that day. Our wedding was a very simple ceremony. Just Pete and I stood before the Birmingham Justice of the Peace. The Justice of the Peace paused a second and then asked, “Is it ok if I perform a Christian Ceremony?” With great joy, I proclaimed, “Yes!” It was as though God, Himself had reached down to tell me He was blessing this marriage.

For me, it was love at first sight; well, almost. Maybe more like love on first date. He was so handsome, charming, sophisticated and the smartest man I had ever met. There was no subject of which he was not well versed from medicine to classical music. After dinner, we had gone to watch a movie. There had been a scene in which a man had beaten a woman. Never would I forget what Pete said that night. “There is nothing worse or more despicable than a man who can hit or abuse a woman!” he proclaimed with such passion in his voice.

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Christian Poetry

POETRY SUNDAY Out of the Ashes-A Joyous Love Song

February 28, 2016 Effie Barba

All too often as we face the trials, pains, and sorrows of this life; we don’t understand why or how God would allow this. It is those moments when we become so undone by all that surrounds us and the desperate despair within. Yet, it is an all wise Sovereign God who because of His tremendous love for us allows the sorrows, the pains, and the evil of this broken world to touch us. He steadies His Hand of Justice so that He can reach out His hand of Grace and draw us in closer to His Bosom. He knows that this heart of mine would be so content with counterfeit joys that I could never find the fullness of Joy He holds for me in Christ. He knows that I would cling to lesser loves and lesser treasures if He did not tear them from my hands so I could see Him. Ever tear I shed, every pain I have born, and every dark night had great purpose in God’s Hand of love to turn my face toward Him. What I might have once thought of as my undone, I have learned was God’s doing miraculous and wondrous things for me. What amazing grace, mercy, patience and love He has shown to this undeserving heart. What joy, peace, hope and strength I have found in Him.

Out of the Ashes-A Joyous Love Song

By Effie Darlene Barba

I don’t understand

Why the nail scarred hand

Why you had to bleed

To fulfill my need

Oh can you help me see

This great mystery

Why the joy we sought

With your blood you bought

Yet, we’re blinded still

Unyielding to thy will

Because we think to gain

There should be no pain

When the trials come

We become so glum

As we cry unfair

Screaming “Are you there?”

(Bridge)

Gently, so gently you reached out your hand

To cradle me there to help me to stand

It was love that allowed all this sorrow and pain

To awaken my heart to the darkest of stain

If never I walk through the darkest of night

I can never find joy in your glorious light

Until I was broken, my life was undone

I loved from afar your precious dear son

It was there in the darkness that you drew me in

Alone there and broken my heart you did win

It was there you unveiled this great mystery

That I couldn’t see you when I’m looking at me

Out of the ashes to my heart’s surprise

A joyous love song began now to rise

My Broken heart

Was a brand new start

Helped me understand

The nail scarred hand

Helped my eyes to see

That the victory

Was already won

By your precious son

So whatever pain

Torrential rain

In your love I hide

In your joy abide

My Broken heart

Was a brand new start

Helped me understand

The nail scarred hand

Helped my eyes to see

That the victory

Was already won

By your precious son

So whatever pain

Torrential rain

In your love I hide

In your joy abide

Much like Paul told Timothy, “Do not weep for my imprisonment, my pain, my beatings, the stoning, or my suffering…” “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2Timothy 1:7). “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17)

I don’t know where you are along this journey; but, I do know this. [bctt tweet=”God’s love is bigger than your heartbreak.”] [bctt tweet=”God’s strength is big enough to carry your heaviest burden.”]In Christ you have everything that you need to find hope, joy, and love—in Him, you will rise above all life’s trials. Even if you don’t realize it yet; He will show you the way to full happiness in Him no matter what circumstances surround you.

Photo by permission https://unsplash.com/b3njamin

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Christian Blog

How to See Sin through the Eyes of God

February 26, 2016 Effie Barba

What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory…As he saith …I will call them my people, which were not my people; and her beloved, which was not beloved. Romans 9:22-25

Before we move on to the next era in my life’s search for love, I feel I must linger for a moment more on the subject of sin. If God is Sovereign over my life; then, how does He respond to my sin? Has He allowed my sin? Couldn’t He have stopped me? That is what I pleaded for? Then why did He not stop me? Why did He not stop Peter from denying Christ? He told Him that it would happen. Peter pleaded “no.” Yet, instead of stopping Peter from sinning; Jesus prayed for Peter, “that thy (Peter’s) faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren” (Luke 22:32).

Then the question that comes to mind is “Does God then ordain sin? After all He is Sovereign, didn’t He ordain the crucifixion of Christ which was the worst atrocity of sin ever enacted by mankind?” Yet, the answer is clearly “No!” God is not the author of sin; yet, God holds His hand steady—withdrawing for a moment His Immediate Judgement so that the ultimate result will still be His Glory displayed and the good of the Beloved. Complex, difficult thought; however, please let me present my feeble attempt to explain as best as my human brain can comprehend. So, let’s dive in to try to answer this question. This can transform your Christian walk to one of Joyous Victory in Christ. I wish I had known this way back then.

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Christian Blog

Pride, Grace, Guilt, Love-How Does Faith Ever Win?

February 24, 2016 Effie Barba

^“For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.⁴But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,⁵Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;⁶Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;⁷That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3)

Restless nights in prayer I have pondered on how to continue telling you the next step in my journey toward discovering the truth of love. It would be so easy for me to tell you how desperately miserable I was, how I worked two jobs while finishing high school, how the church failed me, mom failed me, and how no one came to rescue me. I could tell you how an 18 year old ended up in the hospital with atrial fibrillation and elevated blood sugar from stress. I could tell you of how I stuttered—unable to speak clearly once more. Truth is I sinned—no excuses. So, what happened? Pride got in the way. The doctor I worked for told me, “You can’t go on like this. You need to get a divorce and restart your life.” My reply? “No, it can’t happen. I cannot fail.” Famous last words? Sounds a lot like Peter, “Even if everyone else fails you Lord, I won’t” (Mark 14:29). Not me! I could never do that!

I wish I could tell you that I had stopped praying or reading my Bible. At least then, I had some excuse why I slipped away into sin. No, indeed my Bible study and prayer escalated in intensity as I determined that “I” would prove myself worthy of God’s love. Somehow I could and would perform well enough to earn God’s love. I wouldn’t fail like “them.” Ah, but you see. There it was lurking deep within, that self-exalting heart. By the fall of 1973, only months after my graduation; I was in an adulterous affair and pregnant. All the way there, I would like Peter say, “I would never.” But I did. The church told me to leave and not return. The hospital told me to either have an abortion or resign because the baby was half Mexican. (By the way, abortions were illegal). Instead, I got divorced and married the father of my baby. We left for Florida. Did God abandon me? No.

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Christian Blog

What Does Obedience Out Of Love Really Look Like?

February 22, 2016 Effie Barba

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18

By third grade, I had taken enough speech classes to have overcome the speech impediment. There was a new “integration” policy in Dexter. There were two grade schools. One primarily had “city” kids and the other had primarily “country”. I was one of the country kids chosen to travel a little further to the other grade school, while the town wanted to integrate country children with city children. (Remember it is a small town so “city” is a relative term). Yet, for me it was a new beginning. I did have to ride the school bus an hour each way; but, I used that time to do my homework and to study. Finally, I was accepted. It was a happy time. I began to win awards in math, spelling, and even singing. There were sleep overs with my new found friends who accepted me for me. My hard work and “performance” were paying off.

obedience will

Then in fifth grade, I was moved back to the first school. Determined to be acceptable, I worked very hard to become slender. My success went un-noticed by my classmates; but, I was suddenly noticed by older boys and even the new male teacher noticed me. So, I came to believe that “to be accepted” it was important to perform well and to be attractive. I began to believe the same of God’s love. God could love me only if I could perform well and could work hard for Him. By age 12, I was the substitute Sunday school teacher at church.

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