What Does Mustard Seed Faith Have to Do with Love?

May 6, 2016 Effie Barba

Jesus said unto them… verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Matthew 17:20

I had packed my car full of everything I would need for the rehearsal dinner, along with my finest china and crystal to take to Alberto. As I left Florida for the two-day drive to Missouri, my heart was filled with excitement. I loved driving long trips because it was a time I could spend alone with God. I had audio books by John Piper and Jonathan Edwards to accompany me on the trip with lots of Christian music. Over several months I had felt a restlessness of spirit, I wasn’t certain as to its source. It was my prayer that God would reveal to me the reason for this restless dissatisfaction as we drove down the road together.

The long hours at work while also providing for Mom were taking a toll on my health. Her mental illness with her constant depression had forced me to spend lots of money on private sitters; much more than I could afford. The house, like many people who purchased when I did; was upside down with its value now being 100,000.00 less than when I purchased it. Work, which had always been my solace; was changing. Those whom I trusted as my extended family had turned hostile toward me. All of my writing, my poetry, speaking, and my blog seemed to be futile; as I wondered did they matter. So, it was I looked forward to this time alone with God as we drove down the road.

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Christian Blog

Lessons of Love From the Heart of a Child

May 4, 2016 Effie Barba

It was at this time that the disciples came to Jesus with the question, “Who is really greatest in the kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus called a little child to his side and set him on his feet in the middle of them all. “Believe me,” he said, “unless you change your whole outlook and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. It is the man who can be as humble as this little child who is greatest in the kingdom of Heaven. Matthew 18:1-4 (PHILLIPS)

It was the heart of one very precious little boy that would teach me the next lesson in love.

Aiden was born January 4, 2011. He had an infectious smile and energy of life. As he began to grow, there was this magical excitement and joy that he eluded whenever I would arrive. “Grammy, Grammy you’re here!!”, he would proclaim as he ran to give me a hug. There was a purity of love such as I had never known before. He had no expectations, no desires to change me. He loved me as I was and trusted me with all his heart. There was a sparkle of joy that filled his entire being just because I walked into the room.

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Christian Blog

Do You Know God’s All Sufficient Love for You?

May 2, 2016 Effie Barba

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

So it was that I arrived into Orlando, Florida where I would spend the next 10 years of my life. While I drove the truck, my nephew came a day behind with my car, Mom and her cat. A few months later, Ron came to join us as well. My life settled in, as Florida Cardiology became my extended family. I found a church home. God graciously allowed my finances to stabilize. Tithing plus had become a part of my life, as I trusted God with providing all that I needed. (Tithing plus meaning 10% was the minimum I gave, plus whatever additional giving God directed beyond that). Life had its ups and downs; as is always the case with life on earth. It was in Orlando that I found my voice in poetry, speaking in the jail ministry, and writing.

The desire that God bless me with my very own Prince Charming to love me would awaken again. Twice more I would believe I found him and twice more my heart would be crushed. Then, one day; sobbing uncontrollably; I screamed into heaven, “Why God must you always break my heart? Why would you not give me this one thing?” Then, I suddenly realized the truth. It was as a soft, gentle whisper in my mind, “My dear child, don’t you see. It was you who has broken my heart over and over again. Do you not realize that I am enough? My love is greater than anything I could give you on earth.” There it was—God’s truth for me. So, with a somewhat heavy heart; I laid down my dream. Perhaps, I was not yet ready to bury it; but, I did lay it down ever so gently to rest. Oh, yes; there would be moments in which I would mourn the dream itself. It had been a fantasy which had been very much alive in my heart and now it was gone. My focus turned to God alone. That was when I found my voice in poetry, writing and speaking. This blog was born and I began publishing books.

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Christian Poetry

Whatever Life Brings

May 1, 2016 Effie Barba 4 Comments

When God asked me to leave Springfield; there was a part of me that once more felt crushed. Yet, I would trust Him to have a better plan. Clearly, I could not trust my own heart. Today’s poem takes us back to that long, lonely drive to Florida. Driving a huge overloaded truck and pulling a trailer. So many long trips alone had I driven over my lifetime. So many battles with illness, I had felt alone. I, who thought of myself as a fragile female who desired more than anything to have some one love and protect me from all of life’s trials; was always the one left to overcome so many obstacles alone in this world. How often, as I walked this journey of life; did I stop to cry and wonder why!!

Ah, but you see: every step of the way; God has been there beside me. There is much more of my story to tell. That was only a moment in time.

Whatever Life Brings

By Effie Darlene Barba

I felt the tears falling like rain

I did not fully understand

All this sorrow, all of this pain

My broken heart by Your command

Lord I wanted to trust Your heart

When You commanded me to go

It was hard for me to depart

When all within me still said no

And yet, Dear God, I know Your love

That gave Your Precious Son for me

So, help me seek Your will above

All else, though I can’t clearly see

Oh, Lord; please come, give me your peace

And fill me with a faith, Your own

That all this moaning spirit cease

My joy I find in you alone

And crucify my own desire

When not conformed unto Your will

When in the midst of raging fire

Please make my heart be ever still

Help me to see Your loving Grace

That only knows what’s best for me

Help me to seek Your lovely face

And make my selfish thoughts to flee

I need You now to shine your light

So deep within this heart of mine

I cannot change by my own might

Transform my thoughts to Your design

And so whatever you command

I bow before Your throne today

I trust Your Grace to help me stand

Tomorrow’s Grace to show the way

I only want what You want God

So rip from me these lesser things

Alone, this road I’ll gladly trod

And follow You, whatever life brings

Photo Courtesy of Sergey Zvyagin

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Christian Blog

Can I Ever Really Repay God for His Grace?

April 29, 2016 Effie Barba

Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 NKJV

By the spring of 2003, a restlessness grew deep within. I knew God was drawing me; but where and why? Having just returned from a Nurse practitioner conference, I was throwing away the pamphlets and brochures when one fell open. There I saw an advertisement for a job with Florida Cardiology in Orlando, Florida. It had been Orlando where my daughter was born. It was Orlando where I had met Pete. So, I applied and was offered the job. While considering what to do, I received a call with a job offer in Oklahoma as well that I had not even applied for. The doctor who hired me in Springfield had left and was head of a program there. He was a man I highly respected; yet, after much prayerful consideration, I felt compelled to go to Orlando. Why would I leave Springfield? Was I running to something new or away from something?

During the time in Springfield I had begun to recover from the debt of “survival” credit cards used while battling cancer and ulcerative colitis. I had slowly recovered from the havoc that the steroids had wrought on my body. I had been found to have a mass on the pancreas which after many biopsies was idiopathic chronic pancreatitis. Also, in Springfield, I thought I had found Prince Charming; only, he really wasn’t. Infatuation? Fantasy? Or real love? How does a romantic heart know the truth? Somehow, I had always confused my compassionate empathy for a hurting soul with love. Every bleeding, wounded soul I met presented a possible love.

SO, NEXT LESSON IN LOVE:

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