“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Never is that more true than it is in the love of a mother and also of a grandmother. As a mother, my heart aches whenever one of my children face life’s trials. I know that God knows better than I what is the best plan for them. If it were the trials that lead me to know Him better, then, I must trust Him to do the same for each of my children and also for my grandchildren. Still, there is no agony greater than when I watch one of my children hurting. The same is true as a grandmother.
And so it was that when God asked me to leave Orlando; my greatest sorrow was to leave behind Ron and his family. The plan was that they would follow soon; however, that was not God’s plan as I would discover much later. Again, with a heart that broke. Yet, why should my heart be heavy, if I know God’s plan is best always. Writing poetry for me has always been two fold. Sometimes it is just a expression of praise. More often when I sit down to write a poem, it begins with a conflict or emotional turmoil that I am searching for God’s response to. As I write, I often find the answer to the question that my heart was searching for. So, it was with this poem as I wrote it right before my departure from Florida.
WHEN GRAMMY MUST GO
Grammy, Grammy you are here!
I heard his little voice
And saw his grin from ear to ear
To love had been his choice
As I looked into that face
That filled my life with joy
My grandson stood there in this place
This little precious boy
(Bridge 1)
So why must I go Lord
And leave this precious child
With Broken heart
I must depart
At your command I go
Lord, I know your plan is best
The years have taught me this
Upon your love, my soul doth rest
Although his smile I’ll miss
Now dear Lord, then show me how
To say that I must leave
In such a way, my love doth show
And he’s not left to grieve
(Bridge 2)
Let your love pour down, Lord
Surround his heart with you
Fill him with joy
This dear little boy
Full of hope, and joy, and love
And now I must go
Lay aside all this woe
For you my precious King
Will take care of everything
the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children Psalm 103:17
So all you mothers and grandmothers out there: Happy Mother’s Day. God’s mercy reaches forth to your children and your grandchildren!! That is His promise to all who trust Him. Isn’t that an amazing promise? [bctt tweet=” I don’t need to know my children’s future; I only need to trust their future to God who loves them.” username=”effiedarlene”]
©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.