Tag: God’s Love

How to Find the Strength in Love to Battle Cancer

But I will sing of thy power; yea, I will sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning: for thou hast been my defence and refuge in the day of my trouble. Unto thee, O my strength, will I sing: for God is my defence, and the God of my mercy. Psalm 59:16-17

It was late October, 1998 when I first heard that dreaded word. There was a light fall breeze and I had been listening to wonderful Christian music as I nearly skipped to the Doctor’s office. Deep inside I knew all was going to be ok. The needle biopsies had all been negative. The mammograms had all been negative. The Doctor had decided to do the open biopsy only because I insisted and because the ultrasound had looked a little funny. God’s plan for me was good. I was half way through my Master’s Program in Nursing. So whatever had been that lump-it was gone now and I knew the Doctor was going to give me good news. My heart was singing songs of joy and praise, as I entered the office and awaited the doctor.

Love to win

“The cyst was just that a cyst. The lump that we had biopsied, I removed and it was negative—no cancer cells there,” the doctor began. “whew, I was right”, I thought; as suddenly I felt even more overjoyed. Then the doctor continued. “There was a small area near the back of the breast, behind the lump. I took a small piece from there in part to reshape the breast and the tissue looked a little different. The pathology from that piece was positive for a very aggressive form of breast Cancer.” Suddenly my heart sank. My mind began spinning. I could hardly hear the remainder of the words that came. But, I was there alone and had to grasp the words. Decisions had to be made and I was the only one who could make them; so, I must pay attention. “We need to do surgery, you will need a mastectomy”, the Doctor continued. “Then you will need chemotherapy and maybe even radiation. It depends on what we find in surgery and the final staging of the cancer.”

Continue reading “How to Find the Strength in Love to Battle Cancer”

Why Do I Keep Failing? I Just Want To Be Loved!

 

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:7-9

So, it was that I settled back into my home town. There was a comfort of being back home. Mom had even bought me a house; despite, my having asked her to wait and let me buy one. I loved being a nurse, a mother, and a follower of Christ. You could say I was contented. It was a time to just let my roots dig a little deeper. There were scars that needed to heal; and, I needed to help my sons through their teen years.

brokenness to beauty

One of the other nurses looked at me one day and asked, “Why don’t you date? All you do is work.” “I have my children to raise;” came my quick reply. “But don’t you owe it to them to go on with your life as well? They will be grown soon. At least come with us this Thursday, there is someone I want you to meet!” So, it was I met Terry. He made me laugh and to feel a bit more alive. Very much the country boy. Looking back, I realize a part of me wanted to find that feeling of safety I had felt with my Daddy. Terry and I had very different dreams, goals, hopes and even worlds in which we lived. Both of us came to the table with a lot of expectations and needs. His home and all that he loved was an hour away from my home and all that I loved. Our beliefs, goals and spirits were even farther apart. Had we either one realized that or had we truly understood that we both came in need not love; we wouldn’t have married. But we did get married and tried to make work a long distance marriage. I stayed in Dexter and he stayed in his cabin in the woods.

Continue reading “Why Do I Keep Failing? I Just Want To Be Loved!”

Why Does True Love Demand A Humble, Forgiving Heart?

Accept life with humility and patience, making allowances for each other because you love Ephesians 4:2 (PHILLIPS)

Having seen the glimpse of what God was doing in the heart of Pete should have given me all the hope I could ever need to patiently believe. It should have; but, how quickly our human hearts see a flickering light and want immediately to see the full beam of glorious light. Patience was always that lesson that I asked God if we could just skip and move on to something else. Yet, it was the one God truly wanted me to learn. After all, if I truly trust God; patience would be easy. After all, patience is merely the question of “How much do I really trust God’s goodness toward me?”

Humble love

 

So, it was that after Pete declared his discovery that the Bible was true; he did not again speak of God or salvation. He continued with his highs and lows. Actually, the moments of happiness were being engulfed by the days of deep depression. More and more Pete wanted to retreat into a world of sleep using drugs to stay there. There were those moments of anger and harshness that would come that made me welcome his retreat back into sleep. The violence would come as I tried to hide the drugs from him or to ration them to help him come clean again. I pleaded with his family to come and sit watch with him as he went through withdrawal; yet, one by one they would leave as soon as Pete became verbally abusive. Again, I would be left alone to try. So, I would try each new day to step by step bring him off.

Continue reading “Why Does True Love Demand A Humble, Forgiving Heart?”

Poetry Sunday—I Did But Pray

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When loved ones, friends, or even those we meet along this journey are surrounded by darkness; all too often we want to rush in and talk, talk, talk.  As though our words might bring comfort.  Then, we wish to rush away when that doesn’t work; proclaiming defeat.  It is hard to stay; lovingly sitting quietly, forgiving the wrongs, holding tight to hope when everything seems to keep crashing downward.  Perhaps, it would be impossible to stay and quietly persevere.  Yet, there are those times when that is what we are bid to do.  Our only hope to do that is found in the strength, love, and grace of Christ indwelling us.  When we remember God’s grace and mercy toward us; then, we can be love, grace and mercy to others around us.  Had I drowned Pete with words, he might never have seen God’s Grace.  Instead, He saw God’s Grace ultimately through God’s Grace and Love within me providing me the strength to stand, take Pete’s hand, and quietly pray.  At the same moment, God was showing me the depth of His love for me as well.  If I had never known sorrow; could I have ever known God’s comfort?  Could I ever display God’s comforting Grace to another person in their darkness; had I not known the power of God’s Grace reaching to me?

God's ComfortI Did But Pray

In your darkness filled with fear

I walked beside and drew you near

There were no words that I could say

So Quietly I did but pray

 

What more could I have said or done

Than point you to God’s own dear son

By showing you the grace of God

As on this road we both did trod

 

My words would mean so little now

Unless I were to live somehow

Displaying Grace by what I do

Forgetting self to think of you

 

No distance then would be too far

Willing to go where e’er you are

To walk beside to take your hand

To bring you hope, to firmly stand

 

That when the world a dark abyss

Upon your brow my gentle kiss

Awakening to see God’s light

A hope within could rise and fight

 

Against the tides that pull you down

The anguish that would bid you drown

Please take my hand and come with me

Oh how I wish your heart could see

 

The love of God, His Grace to you

That as His face comes into view

Amidst the sorrows in your heart

God’s comfort bidding them depart

 

His love can wrap you in His arms

Protecting you from evil’s harms

Oh, how I wish that you could see

My strength, my love is Christ in me

 

So,

In your darkness filled with fear

I walked beside and drew you near

There were no words that I could say

So Quietly I did but pray

Is there someone you know who is drowning in despair?  The weight of life’s trials are wearing them down?  Or are you weighted down with sorrow and pain?  Oh, my dear friends, remember this.  God in His Sovereignty allows those sorrows that come into our life. [bctt tweet=”Into a broken world God reaches in with a steady hand of Grace bringing purpose out of our pain”]  1.  Either He is drawing you closer to Himself in the midst of the trial  2.  Or He is preparing you to share in His Glory by allowing you to be the testimony that leads another to Christ.  Usually, He is doing both.

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/joshuaearle  The poetry is mine.

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

How to Rewrite a Painful Past with Grace and Love

Couples arrive each carrying their own set of luggage. Sometimes, that luggage is filled with beautiful memories, traditions, and beliefs that will strengthen the new couple. Sometimes, that luggage is filled with fears, pains, sorrows and traditions which only injure. Broken vessels often have shards of glass that can cut open wounds. A single word can set off a cascade of painful memories from the past; ripping open wounds that had never healed. Sometimes those memories can set off a chain of reactions filled with anger, fear, and hate.

Pete age 21

Pete and I had arrived with all our baggage. Piece by piece over the course of years, we began unpacking our rags of brokenness. Were it not for God’s Grace and intervening hand of love; we could not have survived. Yet, God had a perfect plan of love for both of us. He was about to change the eternity of Pete; while, at the same time step by step, piece by piece transform my heart into one that could see God’s love, forgiveness, and joy clearly.

Continue reading “How to Rewrite a Painful Past with Grace and Love”