Effie Darlene Barba

^{Psalm 51: 16}For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

¹⁷The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Psalm 34

¹⁷The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

¹⁸The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

¹⁹Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.

 

       Why would a God of love desire our sacrifice to be that of a broken spirit and a broken heart.  Too often we reach out to desire only comfort. “ Let my Christian life be only joy, “ we cry.    Or sometimes I stand on the promises of God desiring their fulfillment now; forgetting that this world is not my home and the promises become fully realized only after we reach our eternal home.  While here on this earth we see only the glimpses of His full Glory and glimpses of what are to be ours.  He never promised us this world would be a comfortable and easy place—quite the contrary, He promised that we would have great sorrows, trials, and afflictions.  Yet, He promised to be with us, to comfort and to guide us each step of the way.  Still what does it mean that “the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart.”  Like a wild mustang’s spirit must be broken, could it be that there is a spirit within me that must also be broken into His will?  With every part of my being I would wish to say,  “No, I adore Him and love Him and seek Him only.  After all, I have walked this Christian walk long enough, I should be getting it right by now.”

What did I just say?  “I have walked”  “I should be getting it right”   It would appear that I have fallen victim once more to pride’s calling.  The I’s get in the way of God’s fulfillment of His purpose every time.  Whenever things start going too well and I am surrounded by great blessings and achievements, pride begins to slip in and I become too comfortable in it—as though I could do anything for Christ. Or perhaps at times after making what I see as great sacrifices for Him I stand believing that He will miraculously reward my effort, as though He owed me anything.  “Another point of pride”.  Of this, let me give you three  examples.  Last year, with great love for Him, I published my book of poetry and throughout the last year I have given away so many copies to help people when they are hurting.  Deep down, hidden in the recesses of my heart, I believed that God would sell enough copies to at least cover the costs or even bless me in some way.  He chose not to; and, despite my saying that is ok He will do as He will with the work for it is His.  There, in the hidden recesses of my heart there lingers that area which pouts and falls back into feeling maybe I am just not good enough for His love.   The same lie that Satan has used against me to squash whatever ministry God wanted to accomplish through me.  So there it is I waiver between a sense of great pride and a sense of great defeat and failure in this life.  I have also given away a lot of money for Christ and in His name throughout the years and am still waiting for the baskets to overflow—or is it all for Christ or part of it is so people will think me a great Christian?  Does pride play in this too.  Another confession of pride occurred recently which pulled at my peace.  During the time period that I was struggling through the things of my past with mom so that I could better care for her, I talked to a believed to be friend regarding some of the things of the past ,  they betrayed me and to try to look better themselves told mom what I said but with a twist to make the teller seem of greater importance  for the telling of the tale—only harming the situation as talebearers always do.  Then I felt angry, betrayed and even jealous that mom would take them over me when they had been only briefly there and I had sacrificed my very life, health and being to provide for her.  Ok, once more allowing Satan in to control and destroy what God is building—once more a form of pride and selfish desire.  Was it that I wanted to be rewarded by devotion for my sacrifices, to be noticed by mom instead of criticized and passed over.  Was this not also pride?  If doing good comes with the reward on this earth, then is there left any reward in heaven?  Should I not do that which is right by allowing the love of Christ to flow through me and expect no reward for that—only then have I fully arrived into Christ likeness.

Is there any hope for such a one as I?  Why should you come back to read anything that I have to say, if I can only get it wrong after all these years?  Perhaps it is this, I stand as a reminder, as Paul the apostle  Romans 7:

¹⁴For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.

¹⁵For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.

¹⁶If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.

¹⁷Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

¹⁸For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

¹⁹For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

²⁰Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

²¹I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.

²²For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:

²³But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

²⁴O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

²⁵I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

 

So, do I give up, throw up my hands in defeat?  No, that is when with broken spirit (laying aside my pride)  I submit to His will whatever that might be.  That is when I continue to war against sin by looking upon Christ’s face of Glory.  When I look upon His face of Love, who died to cover all my sins, all my pride, all my guilt that He might give me His Righteousness and His Glory—then my heart becomes broken for Him.  I then reach up my hand to take His outstretched hand.  It is so amazing the great love He has for me and you.   When I fail Him and I lay prostrate before Him with great sorrow and brokenness of spirit for my failure, He looks down upon me through the blood of Christ and says “What sin, my child?  I don’t see any.  Here take my hand.  Get up.  Let’s go. We have things to do”  And on down life’s journey we walk hand in hand.  He knows how fragile I am and yet He chose me.  That is His amazing love for me. He has the same for you-so don’t wallow there in either your pride or your guilt.    Perhaps I will end with this from the apostle Paul,  2 Corinthians 4:

⁶For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

⁷But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

⁸We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

⁹Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

¹⁰Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

 

May I lay myself aside and may His words bless your soul today. 

Love,  Effie Darlene Barba

 

^{Luke 19: 41}And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it,

⁴²Saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.

John 11 ³⁵Jesus wept

 

Jesus wept when He arrived at the tomb of Lazurus—He came with a great and wondrous gift.  He knew that He came to raise Him from the dead and yet no one understood that He was coming with the greatest gift of all—life.  How could these who knew Him so intimately not understand that He was life.  So He wept that they did not get it.  The same as He weeps for all of us His followers when we just do not get it.  We go on about our day filled with life’s worries and cares and just don’t get it He is all we need.  How many times in my lifetime did Christ weep over my doubts and lack of faith. Oh, this my prayer is that never again do I want to know that I have caused Him even one more tear. 

He wept again over those who would reject Him.  He was on His way to Jerusalem to die and  become ULTIMATELY WORTHY of all our praise.  He had come with eternal life, joy, peace, heirship, and constant communion with God.  He sacrificed everything that this world might have everything- yet, they continue to reject Him.  As He gently stands before you with His hand out stretched to offer you His righteousness to replace your sin, His glory to replace your shame, his hope to replace your despair; He continues to weep each time you reject Him.  Would you come and answer this His call to you?

A friend sent me this video and I want to share it with you as it touched my heart, I pray it does yours

                                            Love,   Effie Darlene Barba

 

 

^{II Corinthians 4: 5}For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. ⁷But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

 

The work of our salvation, justification, sanctification, and glorification is a work of God and He only can change this dark heart that searches for vain self glory at times.  What an incredible thing that even this my Christian walk has little to do with me.  Most of this my Christian walk I have strived to work toward pleasing Him, thinking that there was something I could do for Him.  He who is King of this universe, needs nothing of man. In the frailty of this earthen vessel the only thing left is that I might see His glory and savor that in my heart—seeking to see Him fully.  Even that is purely His work.  It was God who commanded that the “light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ: “shine out of darkness into the darkness of my heart.  He called me into His own and from the moment I accepted Christ as my Savior He sat about performing the work of transforming me into His image.  Sometimes this journey has led me through great sorrow or pain, all ordained by His Hand of love.  The work of transforming a selfish vile heart into one of service, love, and glory would seem so impossible—yet, the creator of this whole universe loved me so much that He would spend His energy and time in this transforming work.  He knows that by nature I and this human race seek to find self glorification or pride so He even allowed my failures that I might erase all pride.  I use to wonder why it would me that I would want so badly to please Him only to find that I had stumbled and fallen once more.  Yet He guides each step of my path.  He does not ordain sin and I do not wish for you to think lightly of it, nor do I.  Yet, He said in Romans 8: “²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. ²⁹ For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. ³⁰ Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.”   How then does this fragile earthen vessel ever reach glorification?  It is a step by step process—His work and only His.  II Corinthians 3:” ¹⁶ Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. ¹⁷ Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. ¹⁸ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”   He sets about to transform me step by step, glory to glory (little steps, little changes).  Yet, even the revelation of Christ’s glory to this darkened heart is His working in me.  Such patience He has demonstrated in this wayward heart.  The very depth of that kind of love draws me to want nothing except Him and to as Paul in Galatians 6: ¹⁴But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.

When you begin to understand this, everything changes.  The struggling stops, all fear dissipates into joy.  Even those trials that are a part of our daily lives here when viewed as part of God’s plan in that transformation are welcomed.  We must keep focused on the glory He wants to reveal in us.

Romans 8

¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; ²¹ because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. ²³ Not only that, but we also who have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. ²⁴ For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. 

There is an urgency in me that wants to spread this truth to a world so covered with pain and suffering.  He is the only hope.  Only He can spread this light of joy, peace, and hope.  Even if He gave me nothing, even if salvation were not available, He is so worthy of my praise that I must go forth telling of His Glory.  Have you seen Him is all His Glory, if not ask that God remove the veil from your darkened heart that He might shine forth His Glory into your heart.

The other morning as I needed to leave for work I had to stop and write these words down before they disappeared from my brain.  God knew I needed hope for that day.

Glory to Glory

Glory to Glory, my life now defined

Boughten, redeemed by Your love divine

Transforming my life by Your joy sublime

Laying my life down, I give you my time

To seek your full Glory, all else I resign.

 

Undeserving I be, now my sins You erase

Let me lay down my life for my cross to embrace

What else could I seek but Your glorious face

Right there beside me each step of this race

It is Your joy, Your peace, Your mercy, grace

 

Love, Effie Darlene Barba

Zak  came into my mother and my life during a time period that was very tough.  Perhaps, we had each gotten lost in our own thoughts.  Mom needed to find her worth and I was unable to fulfill that need.  Zak brought back joy into her life, something she had lost along the way.  I was very busy providing for our household, so busy that I hardly had time to notice.  I gave up trying to get mom back into life because she had given up and my attempts were ignored until finally, I just went on about providing needs without noticing that what she most needed was attention.  Zak gave her that and gave her a new will to live rather than just exist.  Everyone needs to feel that someone really cares.  He also gave so much to my world by fixing those things that were broken and those things that needed to be done.  He became a part of our life.  He designed this website and that is something I could never thank him enough for.  Yet, life turns and he has been called away to help a dear friend of his in a time of great need.  God has a perfect plan and brings those people into our lives that are needed at that moment and that time.  Mom and I worked through many emotional problems that had stood between us.  I learned to accept and even enjoy our differences.  It reminds me of a poem I wrote a long time ago when God sent someone to just talk to me in a moment when I felt very down about myself so I wish to share that now and say Thank you so much Zak for all you have done.

 

Angel Unaware

I met a man the other day

And little did I know

He’d touch my heart is such a way

That reached my very soul

His glasses lay upon his face

Such sculptured beauty there

The gentle kindness of his smile

The softness in his hair

I listened as he spoke that day

His words so kind and strong

He kindled deep within my heart

His knowledge I did long

The candlelight of hope in me

Had grown so very dim

And now it flamed to brighter light

As I listened there to him

I knew that God had sent Him there

What wonder could this be?

His spirit mirrored a part of me

In perfect symmetry

Our paths would cross, a moment’s time

And go their separate ways

Yet change our lives and lift our hearts

In such a few short days

If on this road of life you walk

You meet a stranger there

Reach out your hand of help to meet

An angel unaware

 

Thank you Zak for all you have done and remember you have touched our hearts and changed them.  May God lead you all the way and fill your heart with peace and joy.  He is all that we need in this troubled world.                    Love, Effie Darlene Barba

^{John 17: 20} “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; ²¹ that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. ²² And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: ²³ I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me. ²⁴ “Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world. ²⁵ O righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me. ²⁶ And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.”

 

Stop for just one moment and drink in all the beauty of this scripture, revel in it and savor every morsel of truth. 

First, note that this is  a prayer by Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane.   He is heading to the cross where He is about to take on all the guilt, the shame, and the punishment for my sin and yours.  God, who can not  look upon sin, will turn His back upon Him with a wrenching pain that we cannot even imagine.  He, who knew no sin, was on the road to Calvary to be  my sin bearer.  The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords in His most desperate moment of pain; knowing what He would face, prayed for me. My great high priest pleaded for me and continues to plead for me. 

More than that, look at this incredible prayer.  He asked that I might be united in Him and the Father in the same manner that He is united with the Father.  Think about this, united in Spirit and Communion with God just as Christ is—this is His plead for me?  Me with all my vain desires and stumbling of feet united as one with Christ – what a thought!!!  Beyond that He says “And the glory which You gave Me I have given them”  He has given me His glory?  When I gaze upon Him in all His Magnificent Glory—high and risen up- this Prince of all ages; it is nearly unimaginable that He shares that Glory with me.  Who am I that He who created the entire universe would love me so much.  He desires that I know and understand that  God loved me with that same love as He has for His Son.    There it is that is exactly what verse 23 says.  We still cannot grasp the full magnitude of this unless we fully behold His Glory and the depth of love the Father has for Him, so He even pleads that we may be given this vision.  Just as declared in II Corinthians 3:¹⁶ Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. ¹⁷ Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. ¹⁸ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 

He is the one who removes that veil of blindness that this human  heart has and step by step reveals that Glory which is too great for me to even comprehend without the work of the Holy Spirit.  As He reveals the greatness of His Glory He sets about to transform me into that same image of Glory which is His so I might go forth and show forth to a dying world His Love, His Joy, His Hope, and His Glory.  How can I do any less than just that !!  The cares of this world fade to dimness in the light of His Glory.  Is there any hardship or pain to great to endure for this High Priest?  Is there any shore to distant to walk for Him?  He is right there with me each and every step of the way pleading for my understanding.  Whatever befalls my life, I will follow Him, my Shepherd and Savior.  The amazing thing is when standing in His presence those things that people consider as suffering no longer even feels burdensome.  His overwhelming Joy fills my heart and His perfect peace fills my soul driving out all sorrow and fear.  It is a very foolish thing indeed to not make seeking Him the number one priority of one’s life. 

My one question is “Do You Know and Believe in Him?”   This prayer was for all “those who will believe in Me (Christ)  through their word (the teaching of the disciples-The Bible)”  It is my earnest desire that if you do not know Him—seek Him. For those who do know Him, I desire that you understand the depth of these truths.  His love for me and You was never dependent on us; rather it is dependent on my great Savior, Friend, and High Priest—Jesus Christ.

 

                                                                                      Love, Effie Darlene Barba