"One Sabbath morning, I preached from the text, ‘My God, My God, why has Thou forsaken Me?’ and though I did not say so, yet I preached my own experience. I heard my own chains clank while I tried to preach to my fellow-prisoners in the dark; but I could not tell why I was brought into such an awful horror of darkness, for which I condemned myself. On the following Monday evening, a man came to see me who bore all the marks of despair upon his countenance. His hair seemed to stand up right, and his eyes were ready to start from their sockets. He said to me, after a little parleying, ‘I never before, in my life, heard any man speak who seemed to know my heart. Mine is a terrible case; but on Sunday morning you painted me to the life, and preached as if you had been inside my soul.’ By God’s grace I saved that man from suicide, and led him into gospel light and liberty; but I know I could not have done it if I had not myself been confined in the dungeon in which he lay. I tell you the story, brethren, because you sometimes may not understand your own experience, and the perfect people may condemn you for having it; but what know they of God’s servants? You and I have to suffer much for the sake of the people of our charge … You may be in Egyptian darkness, and you may wonder why such a horror chills your marrow; but you may be altogether in the pursuit of your calling, and be led of the Spirit to a position of sympathy with desponding minds" Charles Spurgeon

As pointed out by Charles Spurgeon, those who are called to preach or to teach of Christ are called to be willing to undergo moments of great sorrow and burden.  Sometimes, God allows the preacher or teacher to undergo seasons or moments of great pain as He lays the emotional burdens of another upon them so they can teach.  This usually occurs prior to meeting the other person which causes the preacher/teacher to wonder and doubt as to why they suddenly feel so alone or so burdened or so laden with guilt.  As they struggle with their own lack of faith and grasp hold of the scripture with great passion, they are then able to speak or write with the greater sensitivity and the connection is made with the other.  This does not mean that to teach to a prostitute, I must become a prostitute or to help a drunkard I must become one; rather, it is even more complex because I may be placed in a situation where it appears the only way out–yet, grace steps in and prevails before falling.  Extreme example?  Ok, more realistic, I may be turmoil-ed with inner conflict and feel as though God has deserted me; yet, in my search and hunger to feel His abiding presence again I write something that helps someone else–can I see His mighty Hand Working through my sorrow?  Perhaps, every illness that I have suffered is so that I might help another find Christ in the midst of their suffering illness.  We need be thankful to all those servants of God who are willing to suffer great trials and sorrow so as to be teachers for Christ.  Particularly those whose lives have lived out such an example of following Christ, never compromising such as Charles Stanley, Alistair Begg, Michael Youssef, David Jeremiah, and John Piper, to name a few.  I wish that my entire life were an example that I could be proud of; but, perhaps that too was allowed that I couldn’t be proud in me and only cling to God’s Mercy to this His child.   Still my hearts desire is to be able to say with Paul, "14 Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live of the gospel.

15 But I have used none of these things: neither have I written these things, that it should be so done unto me: for it were better for me to die, than that any man should make my glorying void.

16 For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!

17 For if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward: but if against my will, a dispensation of the gospel is committed unto me.

18 What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel.

19 For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more"

Lord, let my life display you.  Anything that could mar your name; please rip it from my heart.  Let me seek your face always.  Here I am, Lord, Send Me.

Isaiah 6: 8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcxOkht8w7c

When the whirlwinds of life are surrounding us, where is the hope that allows you; dear friend, to cling to joy in Christ.  Financial disasters, chronic illness, failures, death of loved ones, aging, natural disasters, and the news so filled with murders, rape, and thieves continuously attack our sensibilities.  Still, in the darkest moments of our lives as we draw near to Christ; hope arises pushing aside our despair, like a spring of living water, Joy emerges from that hope.  How can that be? In those dark moments of despair, where do you turn?  How can you break these chains of depression and hopelessness?  Some of the greatest theologians battled depression such as Charles Spurgeon, William Cowper, and at times Martin Luther.  Is it not only natural that the more we come to know of Christ, His righteousness, and His Glory the more despair we feel concerning our own failures at loving Him enough.  We weep with our inability to live out this Christian life in the manner that would bring glory to His name.  Even if we have learned to cling tight to Joy in Christ concerning our outward afflictions; how do we do so with our inward turmoil over our own failure?  Have you ever thought, "But how can God answer my petition when I know I am the one who failed Him?"  Still if God is Omnipotent, and He is; there is never been a moment where He said, "Oops, I didn’t know he/she was going to do that!!  I would never have chosen her/him, if I knew what a mess-up they were."  I am not talking to you out there who could care less about your sin and even want to blame it on God (you probably don’t even know Christ). I am talking to those of you who are broken by your failures while at the same time seeking Christ with all your hearts.  Let me share with you 5 scriptures that will help you to hold tight to hope and joy in the Future Grace promised to all who know Christ as their Savior.

Scripture #1: "Hebrews 4: 15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."  Because our High Priest (Jesus Christ) took on human flesh that He might be tempted (though without sin) and suffered hunger, poverty, pain and death for us; He is a sympathetic high priest overflowing with love for us despite our frailty.  We need never be afraid to go to Him and lay our all before His throne of grace and knowing that He will give us the grace needed for each and every next moment of our life.

Scripture #2: "Philippians 1: 6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"  My security is held by God’s Power and not mine.  He can take all the bumbling mistakes and turn them into something beautiful, in spite of me; though, He will not leave the chaff in my heart–He will remove it at whatever cost.  He will transform my desires until they are aligned with His.  This is does with patience and steadiness of spirit.

Scripture #3: "Romans 8: 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified."  One day, I will look like Christ.  Whatever trial, pain, sorrow, or tribulation is needed to complete that task, I desire.  The hope and Joy that will lift me up in each trial is focusing on the fact that God is in control and He will transform this self-exalting, selfish heart until He has transplanted a new heart that looks like Christ, filled with His Glory and His righteousness.

Scripture #4: "2 Corinthians 3:15 But even unto this day, when Moses is read, the vail is upon their heart.

16 Nevertheless when it shall turn to the Lord, the vail shall be taken away.

17 Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord."  Step by step, glory by glory; God has taken charge of transforming of my heart.

Scripture #5: "Hebrews 13:20 Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,

21 Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."

So, dear friend, rise up, shake off those cloaks of despair and sing a song of praise to God for His love, His Grace and His Omnipotent Transforming Work in Your life.   Rejoice because He is in Control.

“A truly humble man is sensible of his natural distance from God; of his dependence on Him; of the insufficiency of his own power and wisdom; and that it is by God’s power that he is upheld and provided for, and that he needs God’s wisdom to lead and guide him, and His might to enable him to do what he ought to do for Him.”   Jonathan Edwards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=SSDWaMK5qFg

When walking down a path in the dark of the night,  we search for light so that we might see the path before us so as to avoid the pitfalls and the dangers which surround us.  The same is true of the soul.  Without light to guide us, we easily become lost to the point of despair.  We stumble along the path and we may easily fall.  Just as darkness is the absence of light in the world, evil is the absence of righteousness.  Where can we find light for our soul to journey along the path of life?  Just as in the beginning, "3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light." Genesis 1; He commands light to shine into the hearts of man, so they might see out of darkness to grasp the truth of the Gospel. 

2 Corinthians 4:

5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus’ sake.

6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

In the midst of darkness we are drawn toward the light.  Though that light might appear dim at first, we search for it and are drawn toward it.  Christ is the light of the world, the only hope to dispel evil with His own righteousness.  He paid the price for our sins so that we might have a relationship with pure righteousness, found only in God.  Yet, some prefer to remain in darkness where they desire to believe that of their own self they can create their own light.  But, alas, how can darkness produce light without an outward source of light entering in to dispel the darkness?  Can a candle produce light were it not lite?

Carrying around an unlit candle will never produce the light that we need to see in the darkness.  Carrying around all the knowledge which we might gain in this world can never produce the light we need to see in this world, unless we see the "the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" as our only means to light the candle of our life.  Believing in Jesus Christ is our only means of salvation and our only means of shedding the light of God which is filled with hope, joy, and love into our empty darkened hearts. We have a choice here.  We can either believe in Jesus Christ or we can reject Him.  Our condemnation is our own choice when we reject the only means of atonement which God at such a great price provided. 

John 3: 18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

Through our eyes we read, we watch TV, we see the beauty around us, and we see the evil as well.  Christians and unbelievers both choose what knowledge is entering our hearts by choosing what we look upon and what we seek.  That is why Christ said,

Luke 11:  34 The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.35 Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness.36 If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light.

Do you want light to shine upon your path that you might see the world around you clearly?  Are the eyes of your heart focused only upon the Word which is Jesus Christ?  Do you seek and savor Him above all else?  Can you for a moment turn off the TV and the secular books to feed upon the word of God?  Is He your greatest treasure?  Then, choose Him, and every step of your life will become clear.  It is only then that the radiance of His light will reflect around you as you emptied of self become a mirror reflecting that light out into a world of darkness.  Let me share with you this quote from Jonathan Edwards. 

“Men have a great deal of pleasure in human knowledge, in studies of natural things; but this is nothing to that joy which arises from divine light shining into the soul. This spiritual light is the dawning of the light of glory in the heart. There is nothing so powerful as this to support persons in affliction, and to give the mind peace and brightness in this stormy and dark world. This knowledge will wean from the world, and raise the inclination to heavenly things. It will turn the heart to God as the fountain of good, and to choose him for the only portion. This light, and this only, will bring the soul to a saving close with Christ. It conforms the heart to the gospel, mortifies its enmity and opposition against the scheme of salvation therein revealed: it causes the heart to embrace the joyful tidings, and entirely to adhere to, and acquiesce in the revelation of Christ as our Savior.” 
― Jonathan Edwards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aEhXBEUnZU

Are you broken today?  Lying in a bed of sorrow?  Is it due to the afflictions that surround you?  Or is it from the sin within you? Do you wonder if God really loves you?  Or are you afraid that He has turned His back on you?  My prayer is that these four songs comfort your broken heart and help restore in you God’s Joy, God’s Hope, and the truth of the fact that God’s love for you. 

Psalm 34:

17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.

A Broken and Contrite Heart

By Effie Darlene Barba

My broken heart I bring you Lord

Contrite from my defeat

I long to feel  Your love restored

I fall before your feet

I felt the warmth that mercy brings

Your love my sin did hide

You paid the price, as angels sing

“By faith, you’re justified”

And clothed now in your righteousness

Of which I ne’er deserved

My all I give, how could I less

No part of me reserved

I long to see Your face today

To seek You with my heart

Your Glory lights my darkened way

That I shall ne’er depart.

 

Psalm 51: Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

So, how do we conclude this series on love with all it’s mysteries?  There is no other emotion that we humans possess or are capable of that can create such splendorous joy.  No other emotion can make you feel so alive, so filled with hope, energized by that love to be and do more than you could ever do on your own.  Being in love makes one feel so invincible and so joyous that the joy overflows on all those around you.  Still, for that same reason; no other emotion can cause greater sorrow or pain as we share the pain and suffering of another because of our love for them.  No other emotion requires us to die to our selfish desires more than love as it demands us to see another as more important than ourselves.  When one has lost the object of that love there is no other emotion that can rip your heart out; leaving you in such utter despair, lost within a whirlwind of pain and sorrow. There is no other emotion that we find ourselves lost without, dark within a sea of loneliness.   What a mysterious emotion.  Still, what an incredible gift of our creator to have given us this as He made us in His image (body, soul, and spirit) because he wanted someone to share the overflowing joy that Father, Son, and Holy Spirit had already enjoyed.  So, what was Paul conclusion to this chapter?

1 Corinthians 13: (AMP) 12 For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as [e]in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand[f]fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been [g]fully and clearly known and understood [[h]by God].

13 And so faith, hope, love abide [faith—conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope—joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love—true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I searched for love most of my life.  How gracious was God that He gave me Pedro Barba, Jr.  Still, the entire marriage I spent striving to gain the love of this man; hoping, working at times–just to hear those words "I Love You."  My own feelings of "not being good enough for anyone to really love me" and Pete’s "fear of being hurt if he were to say he loved me"  clouded the sky so the light of truth could not be seen by either; until the day before he died and for the first time as he told me how much he loved me, I understood and then, he was gone.   Most of my Christian life, I believed God’s Grace had reached down to save me; but there was no way that God could really love me.  I worked very hard to gain God’s love; yet, I seemed to always fail.  The harder I tried, the greater I failed; until one day with a Broken and Contrite heart, I cried, "Why God, must you always break my heart?  His reply, "Oh, child do you not see that it is you breaking mine because you cannot see how much I love you" Only then did I begin to understand all of it.  I had wanted a companion here; yet, I had never realized that my greatest love of all was Jesus Christ.  So, as Paul whatever, I know of love now is dim compared to what I will know one day; and, whatever joys love has brought to me here on earth, they are dim compared to what I will know in the presence of perfect love. My final advice to all of you whatever state of love you are in, you need to learn of Perfect Love (God) in order to truly know how to receive and to give love.  For those who have found your earthly soul mate chosen by God–cherish them and ask God to teach you how to love them as He does.  For those of who are widowed, cherish the good memories and rest in the loving arms of your heavenly Father.  For those of you who are alone and wondering if God has anyone special for you?  Don’t worry, relax in the precious loving arms of God; perhaps, He wants to teach you of His precious love so that you are prepared to really love the one he sends or better yet; perhaps as He looks upon your faith and love of Him, He has chosen not to share you with another.  Understand, that is a very privileged place to be and God will supply all your needs.  His presence will be ever more sweeter and joyous, because He will fill you with His Love, His Joy, and His Hope.  I have awoken at times with a sweet song playing in my head and the sense of arms surrounding me and remembered Zephaniah 3:"17 The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing."  So let me ask you a question, When was the last time you looked into the face of Christ through the eyes of your heart and said, "I love you"?  Dennis Jernigan wrote a love song to Jesus that I hope you listen to.  I, daresay, this is my life song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuiaoVyKXnM

Amplified Bible (AMP)

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