So, today I am off to Missouri to attend my 40th class reunion, visit my son, and turn in the final documentation for my new job in Missouri.  Yes, at age 58 I am changing careers where I will move from being a cardiology nurse practitioner to being a Cardiology Nurse Practitioner specializing in Electrophysiology (guess I always like a challenge)  As I look back over my life, I have seen the wondrous hand of God directing and guiding my life.  There may have been a lot of trials.  Also, there may have been so many times I have failed God; yet, He has taken all the threads and woven a portrait of faith.  There are so many mountains looming before me; yet, I know who goes before me and I know that when God commands me to go–He will smooth the path ahead.  On September 10 when God said today you are to give your 90 day notice; I did just that.  The thing that I have learned from all these years I have walked with God and the journey through all the trials is that I can trust Him even if I do not have any clue as to the plan.  No matter the obstacles or boulders that would appear to block the path, I march forward with the knowledge that God will either clear the path or allow me the strength to leap over each one miraculously.   So let my life reflect the fact that He is all I need, He is my every song of joy, He is my greatest treasure, and I love my Heavenly Father with all my heart, spirit and soul. 

Psalm 62: "Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation.

2 He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved."

I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do;  I awoke this morning with this song playing in my head. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-Cgs41gawE

Some believe that we were created to bring Glory to God; yet, when I look deep within this human heart and back over all the failures of my life–I wonder how can that be?  The more I know of Him the more I recognize that His Glory, His Magnificence, His Character and Beauty is greater than anything imaginable and I have none to add.  So the best that I can hope to do is to empty myself of who I am, so that like a mirror reflects light; I might reflect His own Glory back to Him.  A mirror’s ability to reflect and magnify the perfect spectrum of light is dependent upon the smudges and defects being removed.  That sanctifying and purifying work occurs as we spend time in study of His word, worship, prayer and just setting aside time to sit in His presence every day.

1 Chronicles 16:27 Glory and honour are in his presence; strength and gladness are in his place.

28 Give unto the Lord, ye kindreds of the people, give unto the Lord glory and strength.

So how do we display His Glory back to HIM?

1. By trusting God’s heart and plan, no matter what we are facing. Much like Habakkuk, we know our victory is certain because of who He is.  Habakkuk 3: 17 Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:18 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.19 The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places.

2. By being committed to living out the righteousness which is imparted to us by Christ’s Redeeming work, knowing that the power is of God and not our own.  Romans 8: "10 And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you."

3. By Demonstrating His Love, Grace and Forgiveness even to those who have wronged and harmed you.  Philippians 1: "9 And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;

10 That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ.

11 Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God."  Always remember Christ’s words as recorded in Luke 23: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

4.  By seeking Him as your greatest treasure above all other desires.  Psalm 63: "O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee."

5.  By Praising Him Psalm 9: "I will praise thee, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works. 2 I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High."

So, we glorify our Heavenly Father as we live out this life we have in Christ.  Oh, that we would become a beaming reflection of His Glory that His Light might shine forth as a beacon to a world so filled with darkness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfXQ5Mfqvbg (Preview)

So quickly we want to condemn others when they have hurt us.  We allow that feeling of pain and then bitterness to creep into our hearts and we feel so justified in our anger or frustration.  But do we ever really have the right to respond that way?  Am I innocent of having fallen to the same crime for which I desire to condemn another?  The root of nearly every act of inflicting pain or accusing another person with the intent of harm comes from a pride filled, self exalting heart.  Can I say that I am 100% innocent of having ever done the same?  The only one who could truly condemn another’s actions would be someone who has never themselves sinned.  The only one truly innocent of sin is Jesus Christ; yet, He chose to bear the weight of my sin and to forgive me all my trespasses.  Let’s look at two scriptures of Christ’s teachings that help to illustrate this.

Scripture #1:

John 8:

3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

Scripture #2:

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

Do we really understand the price Christ paid?  Too often we underestimate God’s righteousness and justice, we underestimate His wrath toward sin.  By thus doing we underestimate the price that Christ paid and we trivialize His death and crucifixion, we underestimate the pain He bore taking on God’s wrath for us. We fail to realize that we have over and over again broken the heart of Christ when we have denied Him, failed Him, spoken wrongly of Him, forgotten Him, ignored Him, failed to trust Him and have gone about our lives seeking counterfeit joys while ignoring the only true source of joy.  Our selfish, pride filled hearts have injured Him a thousand times greater than anyone could have ever injured us; yet, He the perfect innocent lamb forgave us.  The only way we bring Glory to His name is when we also learn to forgive others as He has forgiven us.

FORGIVENESS

by Effie Darlene Barba

Oh, Lord, how does this bleeding heart

So gripped with pain, forgiveness give

For acts that ripped my soul apart

By all they said and all they did

Your Joy, dear Lord, they stole from me

Confusion, chaos fills my mind

Only you can set me free

That I might stand and Thy light shine

So, take me back unto that cross

My selfish acts, your bleeding heart

That I might truly know Your loss

Forgiveness came at what a cost.

If I could see me as I am

Compared to perfect righteousness

So undeserving of this lamb

Who gave the final sacrifice

Oh, then Dear Lord I’d see mankind

Through eyes, your eyes filled with Your Love

Forgiving Spirit then I’d find

For every act, for every word

So, Let me have this heart of Yours

To reach a bitter world in pain

So joy, and love and peace out pours

To shine Your light of hope again.

Forgiveness comes from a humble heart who has taken the time to look from the outside in.  When we see our own frailties it is easier to forgive others theirs. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MsTavoXZg0 (Preview)

It was not what I thought I would be doing at age 59–moving across the country, alone to start a new career.  Once I am there I will be near one of my sons; but I am leaving behind the other son and his family.  I can still hear the voice of my grandson, "Can we go to Grammy’s house, please? Grammy, love you."  I knew in July that I would be going; but, I thought I had time to do this slowly and go within 2 years.  That was not God’s plan.  His plan was that on September 10 I put the 90 day notice on the desk of my employer of the past 10 years; even before a new job could be found.  God had been orchestrating events in the background for over a year which would ascertain that I do as He asked and on His timing.  He knew I might procrastinate if He had not spoken with bold clarity as to when. As is often the case, it required great pain to get my attention since too often I become content and require the jolt of a cattle prod to move out of my comfort zone.  We very often become like Moses with a million excuses which we lay before God as to why we can’t or why not now.  This process of preparing to move, the short sale, the financial implications of moving, the unending paperwork, the stabbing pain that comes from going to work with each day newer discoveries of how deep the lies have spread, the pain of putting mom into a nursing home until I can get settled, finding homes for the cats, packing, preparing to move, and all the emotions of a move press deep within from all sides.  My heart would tend to break beneath the weight of it all, fear would grip my heart were it not for these three truths. 

1.  I know who God is.  I know of His sovereignty.  I know of His Omnipotence.  I know of His Omniscience. I know how much He loves me. 2 Timothy 1:12 "For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."

2.  I know His Plan is for my good. Psalm 84:11 " For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. 12 O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee."

3.  I trust Him to work out every detail with the perfection that only God can.  Only in that manner can He be fully Glorified.  Trusting His Heart, His strength, and His ability to do what would be humanly impossible–displays His Glory to the world as He performs the miracle and as His Child stands firm in faith.  Figuratively, my willingness to jump off the bridge with a rapid current rushing over rocks below me; knowing He is catching me–brings Glory and Honor to His name. 2 Corinthians 1: "20 For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us."  There is no yea, nay in this.  He calls me go and my answer is not, how? My answer is yes, sir; immediately sir; I know you have the plan.  Lead me on, Lord and Master of My Life.  With excitement, firmness, and unwavering faith I step forward into my destined future.

So, it is with boldness, firmness of faith–I turn my eyes toward Missouri.  Much like Abraham when He by faith left His home to march into the unknown toward the promised land. Romans 4: "20 He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;21 And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.

22 And therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness."

I am not certain of all that God has planned or why it must be so rapidly done; but, I know He has an incredible, wonderful, joyous future there in the center of His Will for My Life. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg2a5-XtqHE

The greatest pain I have ever known was when I lay broken, prostrate before God.  It was though the veil was lifted and while I had been asking God, "Why have you keep breaking my heart?" and then, there it lay in front of me–the truth.  I had been breaking His heart.  He stood before me offering to me the greatest gift of all–His Love, His Joy, and His Glory.  Meanwhile, I had been chasing after other dreams and other loves.  That moment back in 2005 changed everything.  I later had heard Ken Davis speak with the message "It’s Enough To Make A Grown Man Cry" and would recommend it to anyone.  Never again can I look at the passage, "Jesus Wept" without wondering if it is my heart that caused Him tears today by not trusting Him; realizing that He is enough.  All this other stuff, doesn’t matter; only He matters.  With that change of how I viewed the effects of my sin on the heart of God; I see my sin in a very serious light.  Indeed, I view it with harsh judgment and need it gone quickly from my life. I never want to dishonor the name of my Heavenly Father or cause Him to shed even one tear because of me. Though, I know in His omniscience He knows the plan to restore me and the repentance before it is given; yet, I am certain He must sigh and say, "Dear Child, All I want is to bring you joy; why do you keep running through the thorns instead? I love you, follow me into the soft green pasture and rest in my love for you." These steps are the ones needed to once more rest in His Grace when we have failed God.

1.  I must Acknowledge my failure.  Very simple; yet, sometimes complex when we want to merely make excuses instead.  We must own our failure.  example: Sometimes I want to slap my hand across my mouth in disbelief that I said what I just said; but I can’t take it back.  So, I must acknowledge it and not try to blame God for not having shut my mouth (seeing he knew what I was about to say). It is I who said it.

2.  Confess to God with a Broken and Contrite Heart.  Just mouthing words of forgive me don’t count; unless my heart is truly pained or broken by the weighty guilt of that sin.

3.  I must then turn my back and walk away.  Not crawl away still carrying the guilt; nor, walk forward back into the same sin for which I repented.  I dare say turn your back on that sin and if it seems to be pursuing you–run away.  Sometimes that means we must leave behind friends, family, jobs, and places we go; if those are the tempters that pull us back in.  When I worked in the jail ministry this was a very important lesson.  The girls when released thought they could return to their old friends and would be strong enough not to break the law again; within, a few weeks they were back in jail.  Similarly, we as Christians often do the same thing when it comes to breaking God’s laws.

4.  Take to heart the lessons you have learned from failure to turn it around to success.  Analyze your failure and try to find out what was the deeper heart issue that is in you which drove you toward sin.    For me, I had to come to the realization that I have a deep seated fear of not being loved or of not being good enough which drives me to search for recognition.  That can demonstrate itself in many forms; but, knowing that makes it easier to pull up the weeds by their roots while laying it all before my Heavenly Father whom I now know loves me just as I am.  He loves me too much to leave me there and guides me to grow.  So learn from your failures in the battle with sin so as to gain victory.  Pray this. Psalm 143: 10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.

5. Failure may be a part of life; but it does not have to be a Way of Life.  I don’t have to accept failure as "Who I am."  Who I am is a Child of God, living In Christ who through His Grace is endowed with the means of victory.

6.  When I have fallen down in the mud and mire of life, I don’t need to stay there and wallow in the mud.  I look into heaven, confess that sin and cry out for forgiveness.  The amazing thing is God reaches out His hand and says, "What sin my child, I don’t see any (as He looks through the blood of Christ.)  Take my hand, we have work to do.  The fields are white for harvest." Then He picks me up and off we go together.

7.  Praise Him for His magnificent love and Grace. 

Psalm 103:Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXDGE_lRI0E (Preview)