As I already have told you I was saved at age 5. By the age of 12, I was the substitute Sunday school teacher and by the age of 18 I was the church secretary. Somehow, I believed that God’s love of me depended on my ability to perform well and to gain the pleasure of all around me. I gave up my certain position as valedictorian by dropping my accelerated courses to please my father who thought a girl should be a secretary. Then, I married at 16 to please my mother who thought that being a wife was the only thing that could honor God and who daily had questioned me regarding whether my virtue was intact—which it was. I could tell you about how miserable I became, that I worked two jobs while finishing high school and how my voice stuttered so badly at times, it was hard to distinguish my words. I could tell you how my husband took the college money I saved and bought a motorcycle for him or how his uncle tried to rape me; but then that would only be excuses for what happened next. At the hospital there was a new respiratory therapist who noticed me. He was from California, Hispanic, and very intelligent. After months of saying no, I said yes and the affair began. I got pregnant and the weight of my sin fell upon me right before the town did. I wanted to do what was right—I asked for a divorce to marry the father of my child. Then within 24 hours the whole town knew of what I had done. The church called me and without even asking whether it was true told me I was not to return because I was a bad example. The director of nursing at the hospital called me in and said they would not allow such a scandal and I either got an illegal abortion or resign. I resigned. Alone, rejected, condemned, and despairing at age 18. I was certain, God must be angry too and that sorrowed me more than everyone else’s rejection. In the end, I did complete the divorce, marry and moved to Florida where my daughter was born. Then by the age of 22, I was divorced for the second time.

artwork used by permission of Ronald Barba   © 2014—click on image for more information on obtaining.

How could God ever really love a failure like me? Perhaps, the church was right—maybe, I was never saved to begin with or had lost my salvation by my “rebellious” sin. Still, could it be that they were wrong? Deep in the very core of my being, I still felt His presence—a sustaining love that was hard to explain. Still, I loved Him, adored Him and wanted more than anything to know Him more. There was like a soft, whispering voice in the darkest night that said, “Child, I love you.”

It would take the remainder of my life until now to try to understand the mystery of God’s love or comprehend the truth that the scripture teaches both in the Psalms and in the works of Paul. In Christ, I am a Saint—declared as such before the foundations of the world were formed, chosen by God by His mighty works and not my own. That is one of the possessions that are mine in Christ.

Continue reading Power-filled Positive Thinking-Chapter 4A- Broken Winged Saint →

As I pointed out earlier in this series, despite my having accepted Christ as my Savior at such a young age; I spent most of my life not understanding the truth concerning the treasures which God had immediately deposited into my account at the moment of my salvation. I spent most of my life waffling between what I thought to be personal victories to being weighed down by the guilt of my own failures to being “righteous” as I had been taught. I could not trust my heart to make the right decisions for Christ. Then when all the trials came—abuse, pain, illness; they would naturally seem to be punishment for my failures. I would just have to try harder, search further, pray more; and maybe—just maybe then I could get it right. Still, down deep within the center of my heart; I knew better. I remembered that feeling of security and love that I felt in Christ; way back at the beginning. Besides the more I studied scripture, the more I began to understand that none of my position in Christ had anything to do with my getting it right of my own volition. The more I learned of His unconditional love, grace and mercy—the more I loved Him and the more I loved Him the more time I spent in just thanking Him for every moment of my life. I began to see that even the trials, the sorrows and my own failures had been allowed by a Sovereign God who knew every intricate detail of my being

He knew my every fear, my desires, my dreams and my brokenness; yet, He chose and loved me right there. He loved me so much that He wouldn’t even allow me to be stuck in this forever roller coaster of highs and lows. Instead, He guided every step in such a manner as to lead me to a place where I could begin to understand the truth of all that I am in Christ.

He has given me peace, joy, hope and love overflowing. He has taught me how to trust my heart whenever making decisions in life; then, having done so—never to feel that horrid sense of being a “failure” or overwhelmed with guilt and worry that I may have made the wrong decision. Let me share with you these 5 keys to trusting your heart  so that you see how freeing it is to live a life in Christ.

Continue reading 5 Keys to Trusting Your Heart in Every Decision of Life →

© 2014 Effie Darlene Barba

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to any brands, products or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides regarding the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

As we looked at Paul’s final visit to the elders of the church of Ephesus, we saw many characteristic fruits that were displayed in Paul’s life as a result of Paul understanding and living forth his life in Christ.  That phrase "In Christ" is first used referring to the ministry of Paul in Acts 24: "4 And after certain days, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, which was a Jewess, he sent for Paul, and heard him concerning the faith in Christ."  Yet that same phrase occurs over and over within the letters of Paul.  This was the key pivotal truth of the gospel that there is no salvation through any other means but in Christ and Christ alone. Romans 3: "24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: 25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; 26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus."

Yet, as Paul knew the possessions we have as a result of our being in Christ were much more than just a key to get us into heaven–it is our very being, our joy, our hope and the only means that we have to live out this glorious gift that we have received.

That is why Paul always taught the young believers about what great and mighty riches they possess through faith in Christ.  If I began to just list them, I fear that you would not

Continue reading Power Filled Positive Thinking-Chapter 3B-Every Promise of God is Eternally “Yes” in Christ →

There was suddenly inside me an overwhelming restless desire that began to rise within my heart. I felt a longing to know Christ as my friend. The feeling rose within my heart until I could do nothing less than to ask Christ in, with a sudden feeling of love, joy and hope that filled my heart and spirit. In an instant I felt safe, loved, and as if my spirit could fly. Beyond that moment, I cannot tell you much about me at age 5; except for that one memory. It was a Sunday morning and from the radio, I could hear the voice of Dr. M.R. Dehaan as he was preaching. I had heard his voice before, nearly every Sunday; but this time it seemed I understood every word. I was in the kitchen entrance way and clearly remember that as these feelings and longings to know Jesus Christ as my friend and Savior, I was facing the corner where the light switch was next to large kitchen cabinet that my father had built. I could smell the aroma of the wood. I cannot tell you why I was there facing the light switch staring into the corner. I cannot tell you how a 5 year old could be filled with shame and guilt, knowing that she was unworthy of Christ; yet, I remember that feeling of unworthiness and the desire to have a close relationship with God. I was overcome by those feelings as in silence I stood there facing the corner. Dr. DeHaan, as he was well known for, was explaining that the blood of Christ was shed to cover our guilt and sin and when the invitation came to ask Christ to come into my heart, I accepted Christ as My Savior.

I cannot tell you how a child of 5 could see Christ as so beautiful; but, even after all these years I remember that sensation of His magnificent beauty and Glory so that I was compelled to desire Him in my life.

At that very young age, I wanted to know Him more. I memorized verses of the Bible as I heard them quoted. Despite that hunger and desire, it has taken most of my Christian journey to even begin to understand what it meant to be “in Christ”. From the moment I accepted Christ as my Savior, I desired with all my heart to please Him.  I so wanted to be worthy of His love. I longed for His approval and to know I had gained His love. Growing up, I had been taught a lot about the Bible, but little about how to live this Christian life. I had heard a lot about God’s judgment and punishment; while learning little about His unconditional love and Grace toward me. Every time I looked at my own failures; I felt the

Continue reading Power Filled Positive Thinking—Chapter 3A—Knowing the Truth is the Key to Power →