There was suddenly inside me an overwhelming restless desire that began to rise within my heart. I felt a longing to know Christ as my friend. The feeling rose within my heart until I could do nothing less than to ask Christ in, with a sudden feeling of love, joy and hope that filled my heart and spirit. In an instant I felt safe, loved, and as if my spirit could fly. Beyond that moment, I cannot tell you much about me at age 5; except for that one memory. It was a Sunday morning and from the radio, I could hear the voice of Dr. M.R. Dehaan as he was preaching. I had heard his voice before, nearly every Sunday; but this time it seemed I understood every word. I was in the kitchen entrance way and clearly remember that as these feelings and longings to know Jesus Christ as my friend and Savior, I was facing the corner where the light switch was next to large kitchen cabinet that my father had built. I could smell the aroma of the wood. I cannot tell you why I was there facing the light switch staring into the corner. I cannot tell you how a 5 year old could be filled with shame and guilt, knowing that she was unworthy of Christ; yet, I remember that feeling of unworthiness and the desire to have a close relationship with God. I was overcome by those feelings as in silence I stood there facing the corner. Dr. DeHaan, as he was well known for, was explaining that the blood of Christ was shed to cover our guilt and sin and when the invitation came to ask Christ to come into my heart, I accepted Christ as My Savior.

I cannot tell you how a child of 5 could see Christ as so beautiful; but, even after all these years I remember that sensation of His magnificent beauty and Glory so that I was compelled to desire Him in my life.
At that very young age, I wanted to know Him more. I memorized verses of the Bible as I heard them quoted. Despite that hunger and desire, it has taken most of my Christian journey to even begin to understand what it meant to be “in Christ”. From the moment I accepted Christ as my Savior, I desired with all my heart to please Him. I so wanted to be worthy of His love. I longed for His approval and to know I had gained His love. Growing up, I had been taught a lot about the Bible, but little about how to live this Christian life. I had heard a lot about God’s judgment and punishment; while learning little about His unconditional love and Grace toward me. Every time I looked at my own failures; I felt the
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