Power-filled Positive Thinking—Chapter 11A-Enlightened by God’s Wisdom
Suddenly I awoke at 4 am with the excruciating abdominal pain—well I say awoke as the night had been so filled with restlessness I am uncertain I had even slept. Scurrying toward the bathroom to begin this morning’s ordeal of severe pain, bloody diarrhea and no sleep. Ulcerative Colitis had become my constant, unwanted and uninvited companion since the summer of 1999 and now it was July, 2000 with no hope of remission. Despite high dose steroids, constant medications, cortisone enemas, suppositories and every possible dietary restriction I could place—nothing would slow it down and every morning at 4 am it ran a 4 hour cycle of severe pain and trips to the bathroom. These morning ordeals had begun with a fury shorty after I had finished the chemotherapy for breast cancer and had been a daily occurrence ever since. The steroids had severely affected my body as well. My leg muscles were too weak to carry my body up a stairs and I would have to pull myself up the stairs clinging tight to the rails. Sleep was not even possible due to the very high doses of steroids I had to take. The only exception was the one night in 3 that I allowed myself to take a sleeping pill. On those nights I slept about 5 hours. I did not want to become dependent or addicted to the sleeping pills, so one night out of three I would take one. Additionally, I had grown a beard on the rounded moon shaped face. My eyes sunken deep within the roundness until I couldn’t even know myself in the mirror. The large buffalo hump had grown just below my neck, distorting my body further. ![]()
At 4 am with all the pain and agony, I did not want to awaken the children who were now young men getting ready to leave for college in the fall, so I had placed a large recliner in my walk-in closet. There I would sit and talk with God while reading my Bible. There I learned of God’s love, joy and peace in the midst of tragedy.
I had finished my Master’s in Nursing and now was working as a Nurse Practitioner; but, the debts were overwhelming and there was this monstrous disease destroying my body.