Christian Poetry

Whatever Life Brings

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When God asked me to leave Springfield; there was a part of me that once more felt crushed.  Yet, I would trust Him to have a better plan.  Clearly, I could not trust my own heart.  Today’s poem takes us back to that long, lonely drive to Florida.  Driving a huge overloaded truck and pulling a trailer.  So many long trips alone had I driven over my lifetime.  So many battles with illness, I had felt alone.  I, who thought of myself as a fragile female who desired more than anything to have some one love and protect me from all of life’s trials; was always the one left to overcome so many obstacles alone in this world.  How often, as I walked this journey of life; did I stop to cry and wonder why!!

Ah, but you see: every step of the way; God has been there beside me. There is much more of my story to tell.  That was only a moment in time.

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Whatever Life Brings

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

I felt the tears falling like rain

I did not fully understand

All this sorrow, all of this pain

My broken heart by Your command

 

Lord I wanted to trust Your heart

When You commanded me to go

It was hard for me to depart

When all within me still said no

 

And yet, Dear God, I know Your love

That gave Your Precious Son for me

So, help me seek Your will above

All else, though I can’t clearly see

 

Oh, Lord; please come, give me your peace

And fill me with a faith, Your own

That all this moaning spirit cease

My joy I find in you alone

 

And crucify my own desire

When not conformed unto Your will

When in the midst of raging fire

Please make my heart be ever still

 

Help me to see Your loving Grace

That only knows what’s best for me

Help me to seek Your lovely face

And make my selfish thoughts to flee

 

I need You now to shine your light

So deep within this heart of mine

I cannot change by my own might

Transform my thoughts to Your design

 

And so whatever you command

I bow before Your throne today

I trust Your Grace to help me stand

Tomorrow’s Grace to show the way

 

I only want what You want God

So rip from me these lesser things

Alone, this road I’ll gladly trod

And follow You, whatever life brings

 

Photo Courtesy of  Sergey Zvyagin

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Christian Blog

Can I Ever Really Repay God for His Grace?

Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 NKJV

By the spring of 2003, a restlessness grew deep within. I knew God was drawing me; but where and why?  Having just returned from a Nurse practitioner conference, I was throwing away the pamphlets and brochures when one fell open. There I saw an advertisement for a job with Florida Cardiology in Orlando, Florida. It had been Orlando where my daughter was born. It was Orlando where I had met Pete. So, I applied and was offered the job. While considering what to do, I received a call with a job offer in Oklahoma as well that I had not even applied for. The doctor who hired me in Springfield had left and was head of a program there. He was a man I highly respected; yet, after much prayerful consideration, I felt compelled to go to Orlando. Why would I leave Springfield? Was I running to something new or away from something?

Dear God

During the time in Springfield I had begun to recover from the debt of “survival” credit cards used while battling cancer and ulcerative colitis. I had slowly recovered from the havoc that the steroids had wrought on my body. I had been found to have a mass on the pancreas which after many biopsies was idiopathic chronic pancreatitis. Also, in Springfield, I thought I had found Prince Charming; only, he really wasn’t. Infatuation? Fantasy? Or real love? How does a romantic heart know the truth? Somehow, I had always confused my compassionate empathy for a hurting soul with love. Every bleeding, wounded soul I met presented a possible love.

 

SO, NEXT LESSON IN LOVE:

Continue reading Can I Ever Really Repay God for His Grace? →

Christian Blog

Can I Look in The Mirror and Still Feel Loved?

 

I will praise thee, O Lord, among the people: and I will sing praises unto thee among the nations For thy mercy is great above the heavens: and thy truth reacheth unto the clouds. Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens: and thy glory above all the earth; That thy beloved may be delivered: save with thy right hand, and answer me. Psalm 108:3-6

As I sat and stared at an empty page this morning, I prayed. Prayer is my only hope. From the time I post the previous post to the moment I begin the next, my mind is prayerfully searching to know where to turn and what to write. That is sometimes easier when I am doing a series through any book of the Bible; because, then I must focus on God’s word and from that wait for God to guide my understanding through commentaries, prayerful searching and even listening to sermons. Certainly, at work I must focus on work; yet, as I walk the halls between tasks, I sometimes hear a word, a thought that inspires my understanding of the scripture at hand. That is Grace.

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When I finished the series on the gospel of John in mid-February, I felt compelled to begin a series about love. Before I started the series, I questioned God in earnest as to why this series. Yet, the longer I questioned; the stronger the conviction came. As I have opened up to each of you all my own failures along this road toward discovering the truth of love, I have at times felt very vulnerable and very frail. As always, God has been faithful to reveal to this weary heart His Grace each step of the way. Along this journey of writing the story of my life, God has revealed to me truths about me as well. Truths as shunned to know as I have been forced to look deep into the mirror of my own life, my own heart. When there was a time it would have been easier to just blame Miguel, Pete, Terry or even Mom for their role in breaking my heart; now, I couldn’t.

Continue reading Can I Look in The Mirror and Still Feel Loved? →

Christian Blog

What Is the Second Greatest Enemy to Love?

Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight. Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness. Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way. Psalm 119:35-37

As I have pointed out previously, anger is enemy number one of love. Our hearts are so quickly filled by anger so as to crush any hope of love. There is another enemy which can grow like a cancer within our hearts preventing any hope of feeling true love. That enemy is covetousness. Much like anger it begins with a thought or desire deep within our hearts and then grows until it destroys joy, love and hope. It is very subtle at the beginning. We may look at something and just for a moment desire that it was ours. We may see a couple in love and wish that was ours. We may see another who has a nicer home or car and wish it was ours. Someone may have a better position, better grades, greater success, better health, and the list goes on. Whatever it might be, a small seed of discontent starts within our heart which can grow rapidly creating doubt, fear, and depression; while at the same time choking out any signs of love within our feeble hearts. It is no wonder, “Do Not Covet” is one of the 10 commandments. (Exodus 20:17)

Faith

To covet is defined as to yearn to possess or have something. That can be anything!! Then when we don’t have it and we see someone else who does, we become jealous or envious. We wonder why “God loves them better. Why would they have that? Haven’t I been faithful?” If we look at the apostles, this too was evident within their hearts. They were always wanting to know who would be greater, sit closer to Jesus, or suffer less. Paul even spoke of his own struggles with coveting in Romans 7. So, how do we destroy the cancer of coveting; so, that we might know the joy of having hearts filled with love? Faith!! Faith is the key. Let me help you to understand this; as this is a lesson I too must often go back for a refresher course. A seed I often need to destroy before it takes root in my own heart.

Continue reading What Is the Second Greatest Enemy to Love? →

Poetry

Poetry Sunday: A Daughter’s Surprise

This series on love has been quite intense at times I know.  Perhaps today we can just take a moment to laugh at even ourselves.  As I pointed out, God is always at work to transform this heart of mine.  The years that Mom lived under my care were at times challenging; but, oh so revealing.  She lives now in an assisted living because the care she needs is more than I can provide and still work; yet, now we can laugh about our lives together.  I never miss going to see her and sitting for a while.  I take her treats, gifts and “things” every week so she doesn’t worry.  Sometimes I pick her up to go to the movies or out to eat.  She seems much happier there, since she doesn’t have to worry all day, “Oh what will I do if Darlene dies in a car crash!  Or can’t make it home!”  This poem I wrote for a humorous poetry contest.  When I read it to Mom, she laughed at each verse.  Then she said, “So, true.”

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A Daughter’s Surprise

By Effie Darlene Barba

It was a quarter til six

Before the sunrise

Came a tap at my door

Awoke by surprise

I pretended to snore

The pounding grew louder

Now she called my name

As “Yes Mom,” I said

She then did proclaim

Quite loud “Are you dead?”

How do I answer?

I thought for a while

Oh what do I say

And then came a smile

I answered this way

“Yes mom, I’m dead, but

Don’t call the police

For an hour or two

Or three at the least

Until I say to”

She paused a moment

“I wanted to eat

I don’t want oatmeal

Or some cream of wheat

I really do feel

I want to have eggs

And toast so you see

You need to get up

And cook them for me

With maybe a cup

Of fresh coffee to”

So needless to say

There would be no hope

To sleep in today

Although I could MOPE!

I tried then to smile

As her breakfast I cooked

Her face then a scold

She spoke as she looked,

“You are getting old!”

“Oh, by the way can

You go to the store

My diapers are low

And I really need more

A hundred or so

I must not run out

I use ten every day

Down to nine hundred

Well there is no way!!

Such worry and dread!”

As she wrung her hands,

“Oh, me oh my, dear

What should I now do?

This worry and fear

My mind all askew”

                                “Where was I? Oh Yeah!”

“Then when you get back

My Laundry needs done

But please leave my lunch

With a sweet roll or bun

I love you a bunch”

“Thank you for breakfast

It really was nice

For dinner perhaps

Some chicken and rice

For snack then some wraps”

“Oh, my now I’m tired

I must go to sleep”

And off mom did go

To sound slumber deep

The sun now aglow

I went to get dressed

And to my surprise

There in the mirror

I saw there- mom’s eyes

Then it was clearer

That she had been right

I am getting old

The thought did occur

As life does unfold

One day I’ll be her

So today I must laugh

Today I will sing

And dance through this day

As though it were spring

No time to delay

No time then to waste

No time to be sad

No time for sorrow

No time to be mad

Sometimes in relationships we need to stop a moment to laugh at ourselves Laughter can be healing

Love covers  1000 wrongs when we look deep within our self & remember the Grace we were given

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2016

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Inspiring Joy in Lifes Toughest Moments