Strange how we struggle always to be.  We believe ourselves to be the center of our own universe and destiny; despite, the truth that we are such finite beings compared to the Universe that surrounds us.  Yet, in the nothingness that truly we are; we find our true being in a Sovereign God who loves us each with an infinite love, longing that we be made whole in Him.  He ever so gently calls us to His side; desiring that we might find our being in Him.  Still, all too often; we struggle and strive in our own might instead of resting in His.  Until we come face to face with our Nothingness; we cannot begin to be.

God is the light that shines forth His truth into the world.  The beauty of a sunset displaying His Glory, as the laugh of a child displays His joy; yet, we remain so blinded that often we do not see the truth. The more we see Him, the less we think of ourselves.

When we begin to see the world through His eyes, we become.  Peace, hope, love and joy replace the fears, bitterness and discontent within our own hearts; because we begin to see the world through God’s eyes of Grace.  Trials and tribulations become stepping stones to greater Glory; when we know the heart of God and His promises to us.

 

Out of the Nothingness

By Effie Darlene Barba

 

When I look in the mirror to gaze at my face

The scars deep within I cannot erase

The years that I tried to stand on my own

Wanting to be and to be known

 

I tried, oh so hard to do what was right

To struggle with all my strength and my might

Falling so short, I never could be

More than the darkness deep inside me

 

There where I saw the truth of my plight

Nothing in me could ever bring light

Into the darkness that shone all around

No hope to conquer as evils abound

 

Then when I knew there was nothing in me

That could calm the raging, roaring sea

You were the one who reached out Your hand

Showing me how in You I could stand

 

My LORD, You in Sovereignty Reign

Washing me clean of my guilty stain

Then out of the nothingness that is me

You enter in that I might then be

 

The warrior You need to go to the fight

Telling the world of Your strength and might

While singing a song of joyous delight

Shining with truth in your glorious light

 

When I can see the world through Your eyes

Trusting in You to make my heart wise

I become Nothing, that You then can be

The bright shining hope for the world to see

 

That out of the nothingness that is me

You enter in that I might then BE

 

Hebrews 1:1-3

God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds; Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high

 

JOHN 1:1-5,9-14

 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life;  the life was the light of men. The Light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not…. the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.

He came unto his own, and his own received him not. But as many as received him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

CONCLUDING TWEETS

[tweetthis]The more I see of God’s Glory, the less I see me as center of my story[/tweetthis]

[bctt tweet=”When I gaze upon God’s Sovereign Glory, finding my pleasure in Him; I find my place in the world” username=”effiedarlene”]

This is an original Drawing by an amazing artist whom I love and admire. Please check out his work at http://roninron.com He did this drawing with a piece of paper and a pencil.  Because it is protected under copyright, it cannot be copied or duplicated without permission.

 

Featured picture at beginning of post courtesy of: https://unsplash.com/@heftiba

©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post.  I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

 

 

Faith begins by knowing God IS (Hebrews 11:6). Is (the second first participle of the word be) proclaiming the truth of God’s name as I AM.  This goes far beyond just existing; rather, it is the state of being without which no other existing can be.  The essence of everything begins with God who IS the creator, controller, majestic ruler of the Universe.  Outside of His Being, there is nothingness.  With that being true, I am nothing without being found in Him who breaths into me, life.  He who created me, formed me in my mother’s womb; knew me before He created the earth.  Think about that.  My very existence is because of His Being the Great I am.  Our vain hearts yearn to be.  We want purpose, meaning, and reason for our life. Yet in our nothingness, we have none, until being and nothingness collide into one.

God IS light.  Therefore, outside of His light there is utter darkness.  I could not exist were it not for God’s will for me to exist.  I, one person among all the people of this earth; reside on a small area of this earth, a mere speck orbiting a distant corner of the Milky Way Galaxy, miniscule compared to all the galaxies in this universe. So, who are we? How can I find any being in my miniscule existence apart from God’s Grace; who despite my nothingness, loves me with an everlasting love?  “For in him we live, and move, and have our being” Acts 17:28

BEING AND NOTHINGNESS

Continue reading When Being and Nothingness Collide in The World →

From birth, we begin this journey of wanting to discover our true place in the world.  At first so helpless, relying on parents for our food, comfort, and education; but, so quickly our own hands, eyes, ears and feet lead us to explore.  Deep within our heart and mind the search continues as steadily we develop independence, determine our likes and dislikes, and ultimately march into the world toward our destiny.  All this leading toward self-determination, self-fulfillment and self-absorption.  After all, who am I if not me.  Each individual mind becomes absorbed with the thoughts of “my desires”, “my feelings”, “my goals”, and my “life”.  Naturally, we begin to believe the world evolves around us; whereas, the truth is we are no more than a fleck of sand in a vast Universe.  By all rights, unknown were it not for God.

Coming to the realization of my own unimportance, is a harsh reality.  After all, why aren’t my own thoughts important to those around me or to the world I wish to reach? My heart, like just about every other; desires to be known, to leave behind a legacy, and to have at least been loved by those around us.  Because we are bound by these needs deep within, all too often we become enslaved by feelings of rejection or a sense of being lost, lonely and despairing.  Furthermore, we search to find meaning, purpose, and place within a world that keeps passing us by.  Perhaps, the problem is not understanding that our purpose, our place and our position in this vast Universe cannot be found within our finiteness; but, rather in the infiniteness of God, our Creator; the Creator of all we see.

IN THE BEGINNING

Continue reading What Place Is Really Mine in The World? →

It was June, 1995. I was uncertain as to what the future might bring. My whole world had collapsed with Pete’s death, or so it seemed. For so many years, my world wrapped around loving Pedro Barba Arroyo. Willingly, I watched as all our resources dwindled; pouring everything into helping him get well. We had lost the practice, lost our home in Texas, and moved to Mexico: all because of one hope:  Pete would get well. He died on July 23, 1994. Then, I spent nearly a year traveling between Pachuca, Hgo, Mexico and my hometown of Dexter, Mo.

All that had been left of what had been to the world’s eyes a prosperous life was some land in Mexico which Pete had left the children. Once secured, I made the final trip from Pachuca to Dexter by way of the “carreterra” (Mexican highways).  Because there was no other choice, I had to pick up the pieces of my life to start again. I would need to find the faith to reject the Null Hypothesis of my own life.

My grief was overwhelming still! All my hope had been that God would heal Pete here on this earth. Yet, God chose not to; instead, God chose to take Him home. Pete had accepted Christ as His Savior only a few short months before his death. I did not question God’s Sovereign choice; yet, I also knew there was a lot of brokenness left behind in me and in my children.  Unimaginable scars needing to heal. Then I did what some would believe utter foolishness.  After arriving in Dexter to start this new life, I had looked for a job. When I did not find one and after much prayer, I decided to pack up my children and go on an adventure in Disney World.

IGNORING THE COST

Continue reading How Can Faith Reject the Null Hypothesis of Life? →

Life is filled with so many mysteries.  Yet, none are more profound than the heart of our emotions; which is love.  Because we are born with the need to be loved; we find ourselves also easily entangled by many other emotions including despair, sorrow, jealousy, hope, fear, joy, delight and love.  Furthermore, mingled within this web of emotional ups and downs, lies the core motivations of the human race.  Have you not ever wondered about our dependence upon our emotions?  Could it be that is what points us even more toward there being a Creator!  Certainly, beyond the intricacy of the Universe itself; there is the intricacy of our emotions. Haven’t you ever wondered about our inner desire for Transcendent Love?

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Yesterday, I went to see beauty and the beast.  Perhaps, this is my favorite of the Disney movies; because, I always imagined it as my life with Pete. Because Pete was tortured by his bipolar disease; I lived a life never knowing whether today would be violent rage or gentle kindness.  Despite this, I could see past the exterior and loved him for the beauty hidden deep aside.  Although, I believed God kept me there to ultimately lead Pete to Christ before his untimely death; (which He did) God also used Pete to teach me the truth about love.

You see, behind the mask; Pete truly loved me, even more than I did he.  I just didn’t realize it.  The day he chose to take his life; it was because he loved me and wanted to never hurt me again.  It wasn’t about himself anymore.  He took his own life, to give me back mine; after all that we had walked through together.  Not trusting his own ability to not injure me in a fit of rage, he chose to leave me instead; because he loved me.  That was something very hard to understand at first; yet, was in the center of my beginning to realize the power of unconditional, transcendent love.

A LESSON IN LOVE

Continue reading Learning the Truth of Transcendent Love →