Back in 2016, I wrote a series on love. In the midst of that, I wrote this post. But as I was reading I Corinthians 13, I remembered this poem. This time it took on even a deeper meaning as I tried to navigate the explosive mine fields of I Corinthians 13. That morning her question was, are you dead? Then today I realized that when it comes to loving like Jesus loves, my heart has areas of scars reminding me that I was dead. Spiritually dead, until Jesus reached forth and awakened my heart to see His Glory, Love and Grace. Only through Jesus Christ am I made alive. My heart is being sanctified and transformed every day.
Perhaps today we can just take a moment to look within our own hearts. As I pointed out, God is always at work to transform this heart of mine. The years that Mom lived under my care were at times challenging; but, oh so revealing. For a long time I remembered the hurt. I wanted to blame her for my mistakes, but the truth is she loved me with a true love. While I believed all I did was loving sacrifice; the truth was very different. And as I remember this poem today, I wonder how much of my heart was truly dead.
A Daughter’s Surprise
Twas a quarter til six
Before the sunrise
Came a tap at my door
Awoke by surprise
I pretended to snore
With sleep my disguise
She banged even louder
Then called out my name
As “Yes Mom,” I said
She then did proclaim
Quite loud “Are you dead?”
Now how do I answer?
I thought for a while
Oh what do I say
And then with a smile
I answered this way
“Yes mom, I’m dead, but
Don’t call the police
For an hour or two
Or three at the least
Until I say for you to”
She paused for a moment
“I wanted to eat
I don’t want oatmeal
Or some cream of wheat
I really do feel
I want to have eggs
And toast so you see
You need to get up
And cook them for me
With maybe a cup
Of fresh coffee to drink”
That really is what I
Would like! I think?
She said with a sigh
Oh what can I do!
So needless to say
There would be no hope
To sleep in today
Although I could MOPE!
I tried then to smile
As her breakfast I cooked
She stared rather cold
Then declared as she looked,
“Oh, My You are old!”
After breakfast, please can
You go to the store
My diapers are low
And I really need more
Two hundred or so
I must not run out
I use ten every day
Down to five hundred
Well there is no way!!
Such worry and dread!”
As she wrung her hands,
“Oh, me oh my, dear
What should I now do?
This worry and fear
My mind all askew”
“Where was I? Oh Yeah!”
“Then when you get back
My Laundry needs done
But please leave my lunch
With a sweet roll or bun
I love you a bunch”
“Thank you for breakfast
It really was nice
For dinner perhaps
Some chicken and rice
For snack then some wraps”
“Oh, my now I’m tired
I must go to sleep”
And off mom did go
To sound slumber deep
The sun now aglow
I went to get dressed
And to my surprise
There in the mirror
I saw my mom’s eyes
Then it was clearer
That she had been right
I am getting old
The thought did occur
As life does unfold
One day I’ll be her
So today I must laugh
Today I will sing
And dance through this day
As though it were spring
No time to delay
I pray Holy Spirit, there’s
No time to waste
No time to be sad
Or bitterness taste
No time to be mad
The time doth fly by
So please God I need
Your heart of love
For this I do plead
Your hope from above
Renew my heart
Take all that is dead
In my spirit today
Take all that I dread
And show me Your way
Only You have the Power
To Transform my heart
To look like my King
Each day a new start
To Your Love I’ll cling
Effie Darlene Barba
To Love Like Jesus Loves
When we really read I Corinthians 13, we realize how far from love our hearts really are.
4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, 6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails
Yet, every day I fail. I lose my patience, act unkind. So often concerned about me that pride and arrogance push way to jealousy. Do I seek the gain of others over me? Or do I hold that grudge forever for the wrongs I have suffered? Do I ever wish bad for another? Could I say I only rejoice in truth, casting aside all entertainment that may dabble in unrighteousness? How am I at keeping secrets? Do I always believe in the good within others? Hoping for their success and enduring hardship so they might shine? Can I say my love never fails? No! Indeed how often I failed Mom and now as time goes by, I realize how much I am her. She always loved me so unconditionally and unselfishly. How did I not see it then, as I do now.
But there is Hope, One Day I Will Love Like Jesus Loves
For you see this is His promise to us. He will transform our hearts, one glory by glory through the work of the Holy Spirit in us. Of all the things I desire of heaven, I must say first it is to see Him. And second, it is to know my heart is finally transformed and I will know how to love like Jesus loves. To be fully transformed to be like Him. That will be the greatest gift. Then I can tell Mom how much I really love her like Jesus loves her.
9 For we know in part and prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away with. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, and love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13
DO YOU KNOW CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOR AND LORD? He is our only Hope in Life and Death! Our Joy is found in Him.
Therefore if you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord: I urge you today. Go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link. There is nothing more important than this; because He is the way, the truth and the life. Therefore, I urge you to seek Him today.
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DISCLOSURES©Effie Darlene Barba, 2023Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. Furthermore, I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
Credits
New King James Version (NKJV)Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
New American Standard Bible (NASB)New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved.