Habakkuk 1 King James Version
1The burden which Habakkuk the prophet did see.
2O LORD, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear! even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save!
3Why dost thou shew me iniquity, and cause me to behold grievance? for spoiling and violence are before me: and there are that raise up strife and contention.
4Therefore the law is slacked, and judgment doth never go forth: for the wicked doth compass about the righteous; therefore wrong judgment proceedeth.
In the New Living Translation
2 How long, O Lord, must I call for help?
But you do not listen!
“Violence is everywhere!” I cry,
but you do not come to save.
3 Must I forever see these evil deeds?
Why must I watch all this misery?
Wherever I look,
I see destruction and violence.
I am surrounded by people
who love to argue and fight.
4 The law has become paralyzed,
and there is no justice in the courts.
The wicked far outnumber the righteous,
so that justice has become perverted.
Per haps this week I have felt much like the prophet . It seems that twirling around me is constant anger and despair. I struggle to see and understand God’s plan. I must stretch to remember that we are admonished to not grow weary in doing good. Still, perhaps it is the fatigue from returning to work so soon after surgery (should have taken off a minimum of 6 to 8 weeks) or perhaps it is that I am surrounded by so many who say they appreciate all that I do for them while actions are completely lacking. You see I am accustomed to my mother not helping any, after all, at this point her arthritis and years of inactivity plus her bipolar disease does limit her ability to help. Still, I pay someone to come in and help because she insists they help her mental health; however, more and more I pay with almost nothing being done to help the house. Perhaps if God would bless me with winning the lottery or miraculously sell my books; then I wouldn’t worry about pouring out money. Instead for some reason, God has allowed one of my more lucrative side jobs to cease and my income will suddenly plummet by very soon unless God steps in with a replacement . Meanwhile, I thought God had prompted me to help my deceased friend’s daughter by letting her live here free while she goes to school. She does work as well. My request was in return for rent, clean house; but alas once more I come in from my three jobs to find nothing cleaned, nothing mopped and in fact my garbage can rotting from food and garbage that was not bagged before being thrown in which the lid was left off and rain half filled the can. I cleaned out the trash and asked that she wash the can two weeks ago and to date it hasn’t even been washed. Meanwhile, she says “ just let me know if I can help or bring something from the grocery;” yet, if I ask—she is either sleeping or upset. Three times I asked for 1/2 gallon of milk and three times no milk was brought home and I had to go after it. So I quit asking. She complains about how horrible she has it because she cannot take food and water onto the new carpet in her bedroom and mom complains about her until my head is spinning between the text messages from one and the words from the other. How am I helping any of these people either by getting frustrated or by keeping silent? Can you teach people to appreciate anything or has this world reached the point that everyone is a taker and no one responds with a giving or gentle spirit. Is everyone so caught up with themselves that they cannot see beyond their own face? Still, I look at my own children and know that they are different and display Christ in their actions and attitudes. Oh, how I miss being near them and a grain of sanity near me instead of this house of self centered people that I am supporting. I know that it sounds like I am being very picky and very un Christ like despite all that I have said and all the wondrous poetry and books He has given me the opportunity to write. So I will sit in this moment and ask Him to please reveal to me what He wants me to do. It is moments like this, when turmoil surrounds my head, that I know He has a new plan with perhaps a different direction in mind and I need to just sit still until He reveals it to me. The song right or left at oak street keeps playing in my head and a part of me wants to just disappear.; but instead I know I must just sit still and wait for Him All I want is some time alone with my Savior for I have so learned that there is where peace and joy are. Sometimes, because of all the wondrous things God has given me or provided for me; I don’t want to tell you about my fears, or my frustrations; but today for some reason I must. Maybe, I need to let you know that it is ok not to always have the answer and it is ok not to always be strong because God has taken the weak and the foolish and He has used them for His Glory.
Let’s get back to Habakkuk. God’s answer to Habakkuk was that it was going to get worse; but to remember God is in Control and is on His Throne. All of this pain and suffering is with a purpose that is to bring good. All I must do is wait and like Habakkuk realize that all of this little stuff is so unimportant in the big scheme of things and that He will strengthen me to do whatever work He has before me. He will reveal that work to me when He is ready and the bridges are lead to move forward. I must wait patiently and silently before Him. Then I will truly pray like Habakkuk 3 New Living Translation
2 I have heard all about you, Lord.
I am filled with awe by your amazing works.
In this time of our deep need,
help us again as you did in years gone by.
And in your anger,
remember your mercy.
17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
able to tread upon the heights.
Funny, that this turmoil comes closely on the heals of completing the writing of “A Broken and Contrite Heart”. I wish I could publish it tomorrow, but God will provide the way when He is ready. I know this and I do trust Him even in the darkest of storms. Last week He requested a special donation and I said “I do need to pay this bill”; but I sent Him as He asked and I know He’s got my back all the way as He has every other time in the past. Let me share with you a song written by William Cowper. William Cowper was plagued with intermittent bouts of deep depression and an opium addiction; yet, how God used him to abolish the slave trade in the English Parliament and to write such incredible hymns as the one that follows. It is with great excitement I found the following YouTube production that touched my heart. and calmed my spirit as only God can do. How beautifully the words were displayed with the music by George Winston – Variations on the Kanon by Pachelbel
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
…Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain
Love,
Effie Darlene Barba