The drive to the airport was filled with heart wrenching pain. My dear brother had died suddenly in a car accident. As I prepared to go, filled with grief; suddenly, Pete (my husband) began a rant. “When you return, I want a divorce.” I don’t remember much else of the harsh words; as my mind was torn between my two sons sitting in the back seat and the grief that tore through my heart. The argument began when I pleaded to take my sons with me. I tried to hide my fears of leaving them alone with Pete. After all, I never knew for certain when he could be too harsh or violent. Crushed and completely broken, I slowly got out of the car at the airport; hugging both of my sons. Hard at that moment to see myself as God’s redeemed child; at the good pleasure of His will!
According to the Good Pleasure of God’s will? The abuse, the sorrow, the pain that interwove my life; was this all punishment for my sin? What did it mean to be God’s redeemed Child? Filled with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ? Right at that moment, I fell into the darkest despair. I did not even notice the passengers around me as tears flowed from my eyes. Then, amid all my pain; I remembered the sweet moment three weeks prior when by some horrible coincidence of fate, a contractor walked out in the middle of a job at our home. Pete furious! Because of the need for help; Charlie (my dear sweet brother) arrived to spend one week at our home to help. What an act of Grace! That week we had talked about everything! His worries over my life allayed by understanding my purpose, why I stayed.
BITTERSWEET MEMORIES
God’s Grace sent Charlie to my home; so, I could say “I love you to my brother” one last time. My chance to say Goodbye; before the tragic car accident. Settling in my seat, a song began to play in my head. Not a song I had ever heard. This was a new song. The first Christian poem I ever wrote. The chorus of which went:
I’ll be your strength when you are weary
And your hope when skies are gray
I’ll be your faith when yours is failing
And your light on each dark day
I’ll be the love to your lonely heart
When it’s breaking in despair
I’ll be all in all your everything
If you look to me in prayer
Suddenly, my fears, doubts, and worries faded away. As though, God; Himself was cradling me in His arms. Beyond that, I stood firmly with renewed strength to comfort my grieving parents. When I returned home, the children safe; there was never a mention of the conversation on the way to the airport. I found out that week Pete had been kind, gracious and loving to the boys. God’s plan may at times be very difficult as we walk through this life; but, we can rest assured as His redeemed child–nothing can separate us from His love (not even my own fears, doubts, and failures)
GOD’S REDEEMED CHILD
I am God’s redeemed child; adopted into His family. Through Christ Jesus, I am redeemed; because of the good pleasure of His will. That does not change amid the trials we face. Truth overcomes and takes captive our thoughts, so we can stand firm in every trial of life. Pains, trials and sorrows are part of this life on earth; yet, they are NOT a punishment; because I am God’s redeemed Child. Rather, they are stepping stones to seeing His Glory in us, through us, by grace.
EPHESIANS 1:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches o f his grace;
Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence; Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself
THE SONG
Later the song I heard in my head was recorded; although, the music is different than what I heard. Since I do not know how to write music, they added their own sound. Personally, the version God played in my head; I think was better. But, I wanted to share it with you anyway with all the words.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
As God’s redeemed Child; you have nothing to fear. He remains at your side when everything appears dark and broken. I know; because, He never let go of me. He was there to comfort me when I could only cry.
Concluding tweets
[tweetthis]Redeemed, chosen Beloved Child of God, by the good pleasure of His will[/tweetthis]
[bctt tweet=”In darkest hours of deepest pain, God has never left my side as He sang love songs over me” username=”effiedarlene”]
[tweetthis]Every trial heartbreak & pain brought me nearer to God wherein is my joy[/tweetthis]
©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.