All those with hearts heavy laden come. Those broken by the stress of this world. Particularly, women who at times feel abandoned, alone in this world. At first, I wanted to address widows. But unfortunately, those feeling lost, abandoned and alone are more than just the widows or orphans. It includes all those who have been abandoned by husbands as well. Those who are barren and feel lost within their barrenness. Some are even married with families but feel so alone even amid the bustle of family and life. As I thought about this, I realized how often I have been there feeling lost, abandoned, and alone in this world. So, how can I write to you of this? Precisely that is why I can. I have walked in those shoes so often and have found the hope and courage to march forward. How?
It is out of the darkest brokenness that light begins to rise upon the horizon. Sounds cliche. But I have found it be true. The restless, lonely nights have often led me to the only true answers. I wish I could tell you faith always arose or that I kept myself always faithful to God in this journey of life. But I have not. I have faced the consequences of my own sin over and over again. Yet, out of the darkest failures, Jesus Christ’s love never abandoned. He never walked away to say done with her. Instead, He has wooed me with a perfect love that brought me even closer to Him. Those things I would have searched for in the past, are no longer even a temptation. At least not a temptation that remains beyond a fleeting second. For I have learned:
God Is There for the Lost, Abandoned and Alone
“Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
For you will forget the shame of your youth,
And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
For the Lord has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused,”
Says your God.
“For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
But with great mercies I will gather you.
With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,”
Says the Lord, your Redeemer. Isaiah 54:4-8 NKJV
One day it was I found this verse. I realized there I was. Forget the shame of your youth and remember not the reproach of your widowhood anymore. How lost and abandoned I felt as a widow. Then to face my own failures as well. Could it be, God did not hear my pleas because of my sins? Or so I thought. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Often, we search from love out of our need to feel important to someone. It is out of our God given need for Him; but often we fail to see the truth. He is the love our heart longs for. He remains gently coaxing and guiding us to Himself.
Even when we search elsewhere. However, He does allow us the freedom to mess things up, while He watches on. Then, when we come to the end of ourselves, He takes the mess we made and makes it into something beautiful.
Foolishly, I thought if God really loved me, He would bring someone into my life that would love me with all their heart. Then I would not feel alone. Instead, my search for love only led to brokenness and pain.
Sometimes What We Think Is Suffering, God Uses to Cure
Over the years, how often, He would intervene to show me He was the love I searched for. Sometimes, it was too hard to see. Then, a series of illnesses broke my body. From cancer to ulcerative colitis, to chronic autoimmune pancreatitis. So many surgeries. Everything changing. Only then did as well as my heart’s longing for anything of this world. How miraculous was the fact that once I lost so much, only then I found Him to be all I needed. Every pain, tear, and moment of desperate sorrow brought me closer to Him. His plan? Guide me each step of the way, here and now, so I might be a light to those in darkness.
Out of those feelings of being lost, abandoned, and alone
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Was there never any suffering, how could I know of the abundance of His comfort and compassion for me? There in those darkest moments, I have felt His arms comforting me. My suffering then has been a source of understanding the suffering of others. It also gives me a glimpse of His love for me. He suffered far greater than I ever could. On that cross as I explained last week He was crushed for me. He loved me that much. Dying so that I might live with Him eternally. What love is that?
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. …For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.2 Corinthians 4:8-10,17
Indeed, it is a privilege to suffer for His sake? After all, on that cross He felt lost abandoned, and alone for my sake. His suffering undeserved. In contrast, my suffering often comes from my own selfish heart. His never. His came from His selflessness and abounding love for me.
For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake. Philippians 1:29
What to Do in Those Moments of Feeling Lost, Abandoned and Alone
Well, I wish I could say I never have those moments anymore; but that would be a lie. Yesterday, I felt restless, lost, abandoned and alone as I faced challenges of what to do concerning an issue regarding a piece of land. Memories flooded back of how often I had been lied to. The number of specialized attorneys who had stolen from me due to my trusting them. Yet, even in those moments, God had protected me. However, memories sometimes at first only recall the pain. We quickly forget how God protected us and provided for us despite the injury. What they meant for bad, He turned for good. It takes careful analysis sometimes to notice how protected you have been, even in those moments. At the end of the day, God was there guiding you and showing you the way through and out of every situation.
Then yesterday, God sent someone to show me the pathway forward. The times I had been lied to and stolen from now would show me the way to protect my sons so as not to face the same situations I had. Whatever had been my loss in the past would provide a clearer path for me to protect them. Regardless, God has blessed me in so many ways that whatever I lost was nothing compared to what He has given me.
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:8-11
Facing the Fear of Feeling Lost, Abandoned, and Alone
Since I moved to Mexico, I have been awaiting with great anticipation the arrival of my prayer chair, my books, and personal items. They are not worth even what I paid for their travel here; but, to me they are a treasure. Reminders of all the times seated with Jesus in the early mornings while facing severe pain from illness. Those hours and days of not knowing the future but trusting that future to Him. Early mornings sitting in my chair alone with Him was my solace.
Yet, the things in the moving truck are just that. Things, memories. How I have longed for the time when I could just sit and read my theology books. So many years I gathered and carried these books with me, waiting for that day. But truthfully, those things do not change the facts. I can still sit with Him and read the most important book of all—His Word.
However, yesterday, I determined that if indeed I believed He was going to bring them, then I must prepare their space. So, I did just that yesterday as an act of faith. Still, I am no longer anxious as to whether they arrive or not. If He chooses they will. And if not, I still have all I need—His Presence wherever I am. Also, I have His Word. Furthermore, I have so many wonderful Pastors to listen to on the Internet.
But how do I change those moments of fear, anxiety back to trust and faith. How can I be freed once again from feeling lost, abandoned and alone? Precisely that, I believe there are 7 steps to overwhelmingly overcome those feelings.
Number 1 Step to Stop Feeling Lost, Abandoned and Alone
Take a careful review of what may have been some act of sin, conscious or unconscious which may be affecting your current spiritual state. Unconfessed sin leads to your not feeling the full power of the Holy Spirit in your current situation.
the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
When for any reason, you are not experiencing these fruits, first look within. For me I realized, I had displayed a critical spirit. I had spoken words which were not edifying. This I had to confess and ask that God just please transform my heart.
Step number 2 to stop feeling lost, abandoned, and alone
Read God’s Word. Make it a habit to never neglect the reading of the Bible. It has the power to transform everything.
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Only His word can open my eyes to see the truth of every situation. It has power. When we neglect to read His word, we lose the ability to discern correctly the situations around us.
Step number 3 to rid yourself of feeling lost, abandoned, and alone.
Rejoice in Him even in the circumstances, knowing that the trials of this world are only making us more like Him. Additionally, it is storing up treasure in heaven. This world is a split second compared to eternity.
Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,2 Timothy 3:12
For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. Hebrews 2:10
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:6-7
Step # 4 to Overcome Feeling lost, abandoned, and alone
Remember what Christ suffered for your sake. Also, remember He does not allow any suffering apart from knowing how it will turn to something beautiful for you. Remember all He has done in the past. In other words: Remember Him. Focus your mind on Him, until He is all you see. Then you will remember His love for you and all that feeling of loneliness will fade away.
Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin. 1 Peter 4:1
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Psalm 34:19
It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn your statutes. Psalm 119:71
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:3-4
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18
Step # 5 to Not Feel Lost, Abandoned, and Alone
Hold fast to all His promises to You.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43:2
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? Romans 8:35
Sing to God, sing praises to his name;
lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts;
his name is the Lord;
exult before him!
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:4-5
He is our protector. As such, He is the righteous, just judge that oversees our case in every situation.
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Psalm 34: 17-19
Step #6 to not Feel lost, abandoned, and alone—Forgive others
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14
Anger that is held within one’s heart is like carrying around some dead corpse that will rot from the inside out. You must cast it aside and cover it with the blood of Jesus Christ. God will revenge your case better than you could ever. He might even transform the heart of the other to know Him fully. Wait and watch to see what He will do.
Step #7 to not feel lost, abandoned and alone. Surround yourself with Him
Every quiet moment fill with praise songs, scriptures, and sermons. Do not fill your time with shows, songs, activities, and people that draw you away from Him.
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”34 Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame. I Corinthians 15: 33-34
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ. Hebrews 3: 12-14
In other words:
Be Careful little eyes what you see, lips be careful what you speak, and ears be careful what you hear.
Concluding thoughts:
I wrote this poem a few years ago, but the words are the same today for me. He is the answer when you feel lost, abandoned and alone. His love will fill you with His hope, joy, peace, and contentment if only you will let Him.
All Else I Count But Loss*
Amid the darkest, lonely night
When all my world came tumbling down
Your ray of hope a glimmering light
Reached deep within my soul
To draw me nearer to thy cross
To gaze upon thy face of love
All else, this world I count as loss
Besides you Lord, my one desire
Body worn from all the years
Of battles fought and battles lost
Despite the life so filled with tears
I find in you my peace, my joy
My Moments filled with guilt and shame
Your Love has held me tight
Never shouting, “You’re to blame”
You gave for me Your life
This world so filled with pain and fear
You are my hope and joy
I feel your heartbeat drawing near
Held tight within your arms
Your arms provide me strength and might
To face a brand-new day
And cradle me through each dark night
With hymns of wondrous praise
As I gaze back over the years
With all their ups and downs
I see the laughter and the tears
That led me straight to You
I thank you Lord, Your guiding hand
Has led me all the way
This life of mine as you had planned
On mountaintops and valleys deep
To draw me nearer to thy cross
To gaze upon thy face of love
All else, this world I count as loss
Besides you Lord, my one desire
Effie Darlene Barba
*Unless otherwise noted all scripture used in this post is from the ESV version.
DO YOU KNOW CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOR AND LORD? He is our only Hope in Life and Death! Our Joy is found in Him.
Therefore if you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord: I urge you today. Go to my page titled How to Be Saved by clicking on this link. There is nothing more important than this; because He is the way, the truth and the life. Therefore, I urge you to seek Him today.
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©Effie Darlene Barba, 2025
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. Furthermore, I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned except for my own books. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
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