I cannot tell when those dreaded feelings of rejection started in my heart. They go back to the very beginning of my memories. Always striving to gain love and acceptance, I became my own worst critic. Perhaps I could try to blame my childhood. After all, I was the obese little girl with a stutter as I began first grade. It is no wonder that I embraced my Christian walk with that same feelings of rejection. Unwanted, uninvited and undeserving in life; therefore, I would just work really hard so God couldn’t uninvite me. Although I knew the truth of eternal salvation theologically; my heart had not fully embraced this. Because I so wanted to earn God’s love, I fought very hard to become His Beloved. Yet, I always felt deep within a failure.
Those feelings I hid well; much as I suspect you do. After all, it is human nature that pushes us to desire self-aggrandization. Yet, because we each come into this world flawed, broken until made whole by God’s loving grace transforming our nothingness into Full Radiant Being in Him; we each must one day come face to face with our own inability and frailty. Even the staunches atheists such as Jean Paul Sartre and Friedrich Nietzsche came to the conclusions that life was very bleak and humanity lost in a sea of despair. From the moment, we emerge from our mother’s womb we need to feel loved, to be someone’s beloved. We fight for recognition, love, and acceptance.
A FLAILING ATTEMPT TO BECOME HIS BELOVED
So, it has always been the one lie Satan could best wield against me. He would whisper of my failures. I remember once having been spanked by a teacher. That drove my young heart into deep despair; so much so, when another adult jokingly asked, “Have you ever been spanked? I said “NO!” Then, the fact of my lie caused me plagued me for years. God must hate a liar; yet, I knew the day and time I accepted Christ as my Savior. How could I fail God by lying? Well, I wish I could say this lie was my worst offense against God.
Instead, I fell much further. My desperate need to be loved lead me down some lonely dark paths; or so, it seemed to me. The amazing part was: No matter how dark a path I chose, God was always standing there at the end of the path to say, “I love you, Come, we have work to do!”
Remember the story of Peter’s denial of Christ? Peter went back to fishing. He thought there was no way, Christ would use him. Instead, Christ came to meet Peter right where it all began to remind him that he was His Beloved Disciple. Never did Christ confront Peter about his denial; instead, three times He asked Peter about his love and each time, He commissioned Peter to continue in the ministry. That is the Amazing truth about Grace, in Christ; Peter remained His Beloved even when he failed. In Christ, I am God’s Beloved. The same is true for you who have accepted Christ as your Savior, in Christ; you are His Beloved. Go back and read John 20, Mark 13 and 14.
SCRIPTURES DECLARING US HIS BELOVED
beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth: Whereunto he called you by our gospel, to the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thessalonians 2:13-14
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Not even I can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Forever, in Christ I am His Beloved. He will groom me, transform me, and prepare me to stand with Him in glory clothed with His perfect righteousness as His Beloved.
And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. John 17:21-22
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
No matter how far your feet have strayed. Regardless of the lies of Satan you have believed. Nothing can separate you from the love of God. In Christ Jesus, wrapped in His Perfect Robe of Righteousness through faith; you are forever His Beloved. Believe that, cling fast to the truth of your position in Him; then, you will stand firm and strong against Satan’s lies. Tear down the strongholds that hold your thoughts captive with this truth.
©Effie Darlene Barba, 2017
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.